Thoughts on Belief-

"What do I believe and why?" Huge huge huge! Rebecca, first may I applaud you for the depth that you have been going. I congratulated you in class tonight on the beautiful realizations with spaghetti and mother's love. And now this...these aren't easy, but so valuable.

Can anyone ever know actual truth?

I think it's personal, and it's relative. It's relative based on your knowledge and perspective at the time. AND it changes. That's one thing I have definitely come to believe. TRUTH changes...and that's ok. Have you ever absolutely believed something with all your heart, and then later completely changed your mind?

What about Santa Claus? I absolutely had proof. I talked to him on the phone! I KNEW he was real. I stood up to my whole 3rd grade class-and came home proud of my convictions, as I stood there in the kitchen and told my mother that I had told them all they were wrong...only to have my mother look sheepish and say, "ahem...Joy..." and I was CRUSHED. It wasn't true afterall.
I was new to that school too, and I was shamed and ridiculed for the next 3 years for that screwup. I'm not stepping out there in front again and saying what I believe...no sir!

What is truth? And who's version? That's exactly what we have been exploring. And you know, Santa and God were tied up because my 9 yr old brain went associative. My father was in one of his "we must go to Church every Sunday" phases, and I would listen in endless Greek mass which lasts for hours and hours, and think "but Santa isn't true. How can I believe in this?" I wanted to. But I didn't trust it. I wanted proof. I was a big troublemaker in Sunday school because I asked too many questions! They threw me out of YOUNG LIFE for the same reason. LOL I kinda enjoyed my rep in those days. I was trouble with a T to organized church youth groups. I tried them all. Was thrown out of all of em. Baptist, GOYA, Episcopal...I wanted them to be able to answer my questions~I did! The questions? How did they really KNOW there was a God, and why did they believe it? And how could I feel it like they did? And what if it wasn't true, what then?

Now, those are VERY NLP questions for a nine year old, don't cha think? Threw them off.

So-we talk about the 6th plane being UNIVERSAL TRUTHS-magnetism, light, gravity, cause and effect...and someone oh so generously actually came up with the number 31. There are 31 UNIVERSAL TRUTHS that are absolutely unbreakable. To which of course, we know, that's only until we reach the next level of learning- and it's no longer true. At that point we find out either there are even more rules-OR, and this is my belief, we find out these rules CAN be broken afterall. Hah! Of course they can. Science is already proving that one.

Vianna used to consider the 5th plane IT when doing the work. There was nothing higher, and she taught it that way, and we were supposed to as her teachers, as well. I had trouble with it because my LOGICAL mind went "huh? There's nothing else?" Group collusion, the Emperor's clothes, whatever, her game her rules, and it changed (it's true until it's NOT true) when she discovered the 7th plane. At least she had the good grace to come down and say "oops" and "let's go to the REAL highest place now"...

to which my 17 year old son said with much patience ... "Mom, come on. The Universe is infinitely expanding. That CAN'T be it..." hmmmm Out of the mouths of babes.

And you know what my little 9 year old self inside that still wants Santa to be real, said? "I KNEW there wasn't a God place!! They LIED again!" and she refuses to open her eyes on the 7th plane saying "I was right!". How can I convince her? SHE has proof!

What do we accept simply because an authority figure said it, without examining it ourselves? Lot's of things. Our own health, our food, our water. Our connection to Source.
You say you worship at the alter of science. Well science is notorious for changing its mind.
It's true until it's not true. That's MY rule.

But you did your OWN science. You got validating evidence for yourself that proves TO YOU that it is YOUR TRUTH, to which I say BRAVO! THAT'S IT! It's about your own convincer strategy, your own pace.

With the footbaths, I felt a difference, and then I conducted my own experiment to see if it was just me or if others noticed it too. Did they only notice it because I was saying it? Or did they feel better? I don't know for sure, truly. Could be some of both. I accept that. I know that I feel better, and I still use it. Validating evidence FOR ME. Go find out for yourself. I also know that any time we change our mind, it's a healing.

The good feeling after eating...probably the hum of the intestinal tract.
The good feeling that zaps you as you watch a butterfly on a flower in the sunlight, or watch a child play with bubbles...is that God working? Each of us is different. That feeling that brings you to spontaneous tears as you see a rainbow-hmmmm enjoy it! Be with it! That moment on the beach when we closed our eyes, asked for an angel to appear RIGHT THERE, and then a few minutes later you and I saw it-and they didn't...is that God? I say yes. To me, yes. It is the energy of the Universe answering you and me.

For me, feeling at one with all that is around me, is NOT an all day every day thing even now. It IS moments, strung together. It is my having had enough validating confirmations that something beyond my understanding has happened. I used to be very uncomfortable with that. I wanted to know absolutely what it was I was trusting in. I was NOT just going to surrender to something others told me too. Not me. And I didn't. I scrutinized, I surveyed, I experimented, I tested, I strategized, I reformulated, I hypothesized and tested. Generally, I kept myself really really busy for a really long time.

Not many of you may decide to torture yourself as long as I did, but I come from sturdy peasant stock that perseveres to the bitter end. We finish. A Vamis never quits. The value is in how hard we work. And I throw anything easy away! Out with easy. I might have only been making it so tough so that I COULD keep it, you know? Reverse psychologizing myself...My brother just called tonight to have a chummy chat and reminded me of that as we recounted family "myths".

Ultimately, I was running from myself. Hah. Who would have ever thought! Alberto said to me one day early on in my training as he was doing a reading for me - he leaned back and crossed his legs and waved one hand in the air with this air of generosity as he said "Joy, you are a great healer"

to which I harumphed, interrupted and said "Oh no. No no no. Stop right there. I'm no great healer. I'm ok. And it isn't me. But no, I won't accept that." He looked startled. I think I was supposed to be flattered. I was shocked. I also felt shamed! You know? Don't you say that to me! I am NOT!

It took me a long long time to get out of my own way and quit tripping myself up though and let that energy of GOD work. Strong MINDS do that. It took my trusting that there actually is an energy. Go to the science Rebecca. I did. Science corroborates metaphysics now. I just wrote this on the healing in the light blog. Maybe you want to go there and check it out? www.healinginthelight.blogspot.com It's a new idea I am playing with.

We are connected. We are one. It's that interconnection that unites us and that carries the vibration of our intention to offer healing energy to another - that's prayer. They can accept it, or they can turn it down. You know, Vianna started doing belief work because when she would offer healings to some people, they wouldn't accept it, and she asked "Why won't they take it?" and she heard "They don't believe they are worthy of the healing" and she asked how to help them with worthy and it all evolved.

I think Vianna is a clever woman. She stayed close to the truth she knew as a child-which was the LDS faith. And she embroidered with what she learned-from her hypnotist husband and from her cancer journey. At the base of it all was her faith in a God that from childhood she believed would listen to her. Now, why she didn't lose her faith when she contracted cancer is a good question but she didn't. Or when she had an abusive mother that hit her in the face so many times, breaking her facial bones over and over until she couldn't breathe, why that didn't cause her to turn away from God, but she doesn't seem to hold a grudge. She moved beyond.

We can overthink things. When we go logical, and rational-yellow, we are avoiding our feeling body. We are trying to get back on firm ground. And out mind self says it can help us. It is the haven. The feeling body is what we have run from our whole lives-for some of us. CA just posted 7 years! Wahoo! I know you are out there doing just that dance R of the back and forth.

I've said before, don't believe me-I could be lying! Find out for yourself.
It is in the testing.
For me, it's all about the questions.
Now, counting on the warm and fuzzy feeling as a testimony-thinking that it might be the ravioli I just ate that tastes absolutely divine...yeah I'm with you! It's not God. I'm pretty sure of that.
But when I am still, and quiet, and I am anchored in my receptive mode, and I "hear" an answer, I know that it is my answer. *or see, or feel.

It's about trusting ME, not about trusting GOD. And God-it's an acronym for "great omnipotent divinity". It's the nameless ONE, the ONE that is known by a thousand names. When I heard that I realized I was somewhere that I resonated to. And that was in shamanic work. The recognition that it is all and none. It is so much more than we can ever imagine, and trying to put an anthropormorphic face on a "God" was only an attempt by OUR limited minds to try and explain something beyond words, as we were unable YET to perceive of limitless energy that has sentient consciousness. That would mean that there is life unlike us-imagine that! There is life that is not humanoid. Whoa! I'm starting to sound like Star Trek. YES YES YES!

So-grasp the idea that is so blasphemous ... YOU ARE LOVE -- YOU ARE GOD.

You know, 20 years ago I was in Golden Braid (could it really be that long ago???) and I was drawn to a large white book entitled I AM CHRIST. I dithered for an hour. I picked it up. I put it down. I was riddled with shame. I couldn't bring myself to purchase it for fear that this stranger behind the checkout would think me so presumptuous. I couldn't leave it. How dare I! I could feel this overwhelming desire FOR it in direct competition with the shame. EVentually I bought it. I read it locked in the bathroom so Tony didn't know I had bought it. WHY was it coded so deeply in my neurology that even THINKING it was shameful? That's DNA imprinting. I KNEW I wasn't behaving reasonably.

I AM GOD, YOU ARE GOD, WE ARE GOD. and you are welcomed, encouraged, beloved. That energy recognizes you as soon as you begin to reach towards it because it is as if you are reaching towards yourself, and welcome to you! We have spent our lifetimes denying us ourselves. We have spent lifetimes running from our own greatness, glory, beauty, intelligence. Over and over day after day I am asked to help people connect to themselves. That's all it is. Accept yourself and you accept the energy of the Universe! Wow to that. Doesn't that give you chills?

It does me. I've told you all. I did NOT come to this easy. I did NOT come to this open and accepting. I did NOT come to this willingly. I was kicking and screaming. Rent and watch "THE THIRD MIRACLE". It's a movie about the priest who's job it is to bust supposed miracles FOR the Catholic church. And he's good. He smokes out the frauds. And when the movie opens they are ALL frauds. And at the same time he is in a deep crisis of faith. Beyond anything he wants to find a miracle so he can believe again. He wants it to be true, but like Thomas, he will only accept it if he can put his own fingers in the wounds of Christ. Then he will accept and follow.

Same as me-PROVE to me there is a God and THEN I will follow you. Hmmmm. You know what I heard? Don't follow. BE as you are for you are all. I thought GOD wanted me on my knees. I thought I had to surrender my will to the will of God. Oh wow. I am the will of God. God's will and thine are one. I was, as usual THINKING TOO MUCH.

Ah. That's the metaphor. That's the spiritual journey we are all on. I can't quote the Book of Mormon. I can tell you the mythology coded into the biblical stories though that I grew up with. I believe that whether or not Jesus, Mary, Salome, Joseph, and all the apostles really really lived or not, they live in our mythology which means they live in our DNA, and exist in the holographic universe as archetypes.

And here's what I was told pretty clearly by that light of God-ness... Wow. What time is it? 12:12. Hmmmm
Gateway of transition and transformation

The apostles are the journey. We move ourselves through all of them and we accept each of them as we accept those aspects within ourselves until we get to the wholeness and understanding that Jesus held. 12 around 1. 12 apostles equal 1 avatar. Not one of them achieving, but all of them. Together.

As we look at, examine, identify them within us, and forgive and incorporate we move on and up. Each of them are coded into different chakras, hold different color frequencies, belief templates, views of the world just like the 12 zodiac signs. Just like your mesa. You come to stand in the center in balance with all. Judas is the greatest gift. He holds the deepest of our judgements and the darkest of our shame and the energy wound of being misunderstood. Generation after generation has wailed "I am so misunderstood. No one understands me"...and all it takes is looking within, owning it, and forgiving SELF. Jesus did. Are we better than him that we would withhold what he gave? Sorry-don't mean to sound preachy there.

Tonight I suggested looking into the faces of those significant others around you, and writing down three things that you love about them, and three things that irritate the piss out of you! And to recognize it all as a projection from you. What do you need to heal and embrace in yourself that they are showing you, with all their love? Read the 9 faces of Christ. He comes to realize that his tormentors are his great teachers and they are doing it all to bring out the best in him. That when he changed his position-they did.

Ann Wigmore's Energy Soup

Apparently Anne began to advocate this soup instead of only raw juice as we need the roughage, and they serve it at the Health Centers. There are a few by the way. New Mexico, Puerto Rico, somewhere east coast...Personally, I'm not up on my sprouting YET. I'm thinking of my next investment being an automatic sprouter because I forget to rinse and wham...I have a mushy mess that definitely is fermented but not in a good way. I've thrown more not-sprouts away than I care to admit. Oh wait, I just did. :)

Here's the recipe:

5 cups of sprouts
1-2 cups of bean, mung, or lentil (rotate between these)
(note I'm not sure she means these in addition to, or just to make 2 cups one of these-up to you!)
1 avocado
1 apple
2 tbs seaweed (I would start with less, and work up to 2 tbs unless you know you like this taste-it's acquired)

Blend with her homemade rejuvelac, which is the fermented wheatberry juice-um...no I haven't tried this yet. Another acquired taste-some of the centers have dropped it)
You can use water or more fresh apple juice.

This is high in Vit E, B, C and way high in enzymes for your digestion, with friendly bacteria ( from the rejuvelac) for your colon.

I'm going to try this-in my handy dandy food processor. She also says to use apple juice for the base, so if you start by juicing your apples and then adding that to the mix until you get the texture you want. If you want it warm, remember to add hot water at the end. Meeee-I'm adding cayenne and probably some garlic, and it seems to me to need some onion. But that's totally up to you!

Potential Theme Song...

PS

That reminds me. Was driving to grocery store, flashed on a song, starting composing one for us...one of probably more to come. Sung to "Island in the Stream" by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers...

"Shamans in the Raw, that is who we are
(yada, yada yad, can't get this line)
Where did we go wrong,
Sail away with me, to another world,
Where we rely on each other, uh-huh,
From one Shaman to Another, uh-huh,"

Thats all for now...

Love, WyoGal

Kudos to Passion Project

Thanks Joy for this one...just now got to read it...working my way through Blogging 101...a much less frequent flogger now.

Wanted to thank you for this. Realized that it gave the words to my current project...ME! I am the art project being created right now. Have always placed my creativity externally...very passionate about what I create...just not myself. I do now.

So, in this current state, I am patient, NOT, persistent, YES, and engaged in an interior project that is growing steadily. My tools since CFIDS took me down 14 (?) years ago have grown immensely. And each day, despite the ever present demands of the world, my focus stays here. And each day, I count the blessings in my life.

That I have endured, and grown.
That I am blessed, and supported in my life with people who love and accept me. The others I bless and release.
That I have boundaries, NEVER present til the IA class, in place since the January IA class.

That my mesa has become my "miracle bundle".
That my honesty with self, has emerged clearer and more succinct than any other time in my life.
That my long-last humor, amidst the pain, I find that breathtaking, no matter what road it takes.

I've been so serious, somber, drab, and lifeless; I lost myself. I've recovered some of my "children", and I look daily for any others that pop up. I am growing younger, and I see a lifeline that expresses joy and optimism now...PASSION! Avanti!

For the door you opened, again, my friend Joy, and these marvelous women, I say...

BLESS YOU! I look forward to the future, but I live in the NOW. I listen with gratitude to everything in my body, in my heart and soul, and know I am graced.

Namaste'

Linda

WATER WATER EVERYWHERE

So, here's another confusing marketing mess to unravel. And we've eased right into it. I HAVE NO IDEA what kind of water to drink! Isn't that like totally insane??? Water. The purest of elements, and necessary for life. Cleansing, healing, clearing water.

Rebecca, you have distilled.
I have an antequated Culligan's reverse osmosis that is putting MORE shit into the water than my regular tap water has! Ew.
I manifested a complete halt to the new one-that was good work Joy. They never showed up, and haven't returned my calls. They've been in business since 1956-as long as I have-and they've disappeared. WHAM. So, obviously, there is an even better solution for me than that one.
I have been bringing my drinking water in and I'm sticking to that for the moment.
Who else? What do you all do out there? And why?
What are your beliefs. I'm starting a list for the side. Add to it here, and I will make the list up.

I believe:
we need water to live
I believe I need to drink more water because of the altitude-and when I don't I get a headache
We are 70% water (or more)
Every cell operates off of water, with water
Water holds the energetic template of ANYTHING we program it with
Water can be cleared with our thoughts

They tell me:
8 glasses a day
as many ounces as you weigh
water cleanses us
water helps us digest our food
reverse osmosis is best
distilled is best
tap water is purified
glacier water is best because it has minerals
minerals are terrible for you
well water is good
well water is contaminated
cold water chills the internal organs and is bad
hot water is better for you
room temperature water is better for you
don't drink with meals
drink water before meals


anyone else?

I THINK SHE'S GOT IT!

We spend a thousand million seconds squandering ALL of our energy and lifeforce running in fear from "FEELING" that bad feeling AGAIN-the body believing it will happen again because the body has no sense of time-and the mind spending all it's energy anchored in the past and running from the future
and in the meantime we miss all this other wonderful LIFE in the NOW that we could be experiencing differently. We are so busy-avoiding life, that we forget we can live it.

This whole experiment has been to get you to focus, even if it was only briefly, on those other things you can feel. And you did, you did, you are, you are!

When you let yourself FEEL into it, even if it's with one toe, and your eyes squished tightly closed going "I know there's a monster in them there waters" ... which means doing it anway, we are so surprised when the water feels delightful and warm and giggly...and then you open your eyes and look, and think "Wow, there's this beautiful jungle full of flowers, not this dark scary place at all!" and then one by one your feelings come back on line to the now instead of to the past when it WAS scary and lonely and empty and cold.

THIS IS AN ACT OF POWER!

Distilled Water...

Years ago, my friend's parents had a cheap Sears water distiller. They told me distilled water was the best, most healthy, water a person could drink. So... I bought one these units. I only had to use it once. The scale and urine smelling-looking yellow liquid left in the tank after distilling my own tap water convinced me that tap water is not for me. This is Murray tap water I'm talking about, which has a reputation for being pretty good water in this valley. As you all know by now, if you've been keeping up with the blog, I was boiling a lot of water to cook my beloved spaghetti. And scrubbing the little white dots off the bottom of the pot and the white ring from around the inside of the pot wasn't fun. But when I started boiling distilled water for my pasta, cool!, that became a thing of the past. Besides the disgusting crap in the bottom of the tank, this became another reason never to consume tap water. I've become a little bit of a water snob. I do drink tap water though, if it's offered to me at friend's houses because people get really offended if they think I think their water isn't good enough for me. Most of the time I tell them no thank you, I'm not thirsty.

Eventually distilling my own water became a royal pain in the ass. It took hours, it was loud and used a ton of electricity. The process took 5 or 6 hours and the resulting water was very hot and had to be cooled in the fridge before consuming it and it took lots of electricity and that tank was worse to clean than my spaghetti pot. I started buying my water at the grocery store and hauling it up the stairs to my condo. Carrying a 5 gallon water bottle up three flights isn't easy, but I did it anyway! To this day, I still buy my drinking water at the grocery store.

Glacier is name of the company that sells the reverse osmosis, ultra violet light, yada yada refillable water in the Albertson's and Smith's grocery stores. I don't know why I was looking for the Glacier water company online, but that Google search led me to a company of a similar name, but unrelated, that sells home water distiller units. If I had an extra thousand dollars laying around with nothing better to do, I'd buy one of these machines in a heart beat! The cool thing about these machines is they are the only water cooled distiller available on the market, which means they are quiet and take less electricity. All other distillers use air to cool the water, hence the noise and high electricity usage. Plus these machines are self cleaning (well, you do have to scale the machine once a year, twice if you have very bad tap water) but the woman I talked to in Lehi who has one of these machines, says that process isn't a big deal. They are small, they fit under most kitchen sinks, they are quiet and you have 10 gallons of distilled water per day, always available, and it can be hooked up to your refrigerator's water dispenser or ice maker or to a special spigot at the sink. You can have hot water on demand too, depending on your preferences. Its operation is automatic, the machine distills more water as water is used.

One question Joy asked was, but isn't distilled water bad for you? I come across this question too in my research. According to Dr. Andrew Weil, this is a myth perpetuated by the Internet, and companies selling water filters. Dr. Weil is fairly well known health and wellness expert, he's been on the Oprah show a bunch of times, written a bunch of books, he's a real M.D. and he makes a lot sense to me in what he preaches. He says, yes, distilling water does remove minerals but no one is certain the body can readily absorb minerals from water. He says, "We get our minerals from food, not water. By one manufacturer's estimate, you would have to drink 676 eight-ounce glasses of water to reach the RDA for calcium."

According to the Glacier people who want you to buy their Glacier machine, the answer is: "No, quite the opposite. If inorganic minerals (and other substances like chlorine, heavy metals, bacteria, etc.) are removed from tap water, by converting it into pure distilled water, the result is improved absorption of all nutrients, including minerals, and improved elimination of wastes at the cellular level. Well, that sounds like what we are trying to accomplish by going raw.

Here is the link to the FAQ at Glacier Water Treatment Systems:

http://www.distilledwater.ca/faq.html

At the bottom of the page are the links to Dr. Andrew Weil's newsletter PDF. You need an Adobe Acrobat Reader to view it.

Ask Dr. Weil - Is Distilled Water Dangerous?
He explains this answer so much better than I can paraphrase it, I highly recommend for you to click below.

http://www.distilledwater.ca/Is%20Distilled%20Water%20Safe.pdf

This post isn't a reflection of all that I've read and learned about distilled water, but this is where I ended up, this is where I landed on the issue. I always welcome contrasting points of view, challenges to my opinions and so on. So if anyone has any other info on this subject, or deeper research or better more reliable resources, please do share.

Food Memories....yum.....

i feel you rebecca...

there was this famous kosher deli in manhattan called 2nd avenue deli - the most AMAZING corned beef, chopped liver, matzoh ball soup, hot dogs with potato salad....oh my god mmmm...i still salivate over its memory.....some of my most favorite memories occurred in and around this restaurant family dinners every cold every quickie father daughter meal took place there...just about the time i stopped eating meat they scandalously lost their lease after 40 years!!!...i couldnt believe it i thought i would die....all of the memories were dead just like my dad is what i thought...i was so angry...

but there were also other city restaurants like this italian place in little italy every birthday weekend etc we spent there...we knew the owners we were home there....they had the best baked gnocci in the entire world!!

and the hungarian pastry shop and and and ......there were these places we had that were ours just 'ours'...unfortunately, or fortunately a lot of those old spots closed in manhattan so i had to learn to get over it... or at least accept it...i mean i could go on forever about these hot onion rolls at Ratner's a restaurant where the waiters were all like 100...

before i left to come here my mother and i were talking about food...shes trying to get back on raw (shes been off for a while) we reviewed every bite we'd eaten every memory (there were hundreds and we could almost taste it all again ---we were salivating!) from our 'restaurants'...then she looked at me and said 'you know, ive been thinking it wasnt so much the food that kept us going back' we were both like DUH! of course it was the feeling that was so important....the feeling we had in these places the love that we felt the fights we had the atmosphere....it was the food that brought us together but it wasnt the food that gave love or passion or anger or laughter..... it was just us....

one of my most most favorite memories: my high school graduation trip venice the 'most amazing restaurant ever' i remember that it was the 'best food' i had ever tasted....in reality....it was one of the only dinners that we didnt have some major fight catastrophe argument in fact we laughed the entire night we all drank wine we talked we listened...it was one of those magic evenings one you want to hold onto forever...the food passed through eventually in that case....

unfortunately what we do is lock those amazing memories (or horrible ones as i have an equal amount of horrible embarrassing gorging disgusting food memories) into the food so we trick our bodies to think those bites that felt good or nourished us or helped us forget or ignore are the emotion itself....talk about lost children i mean ive found A TON of lost feelings with food as theyve come up and out with the colonics and cleanses...its absolutely insane how that works! seriously some food that weve locked in with a memory is LITERALLY stuck in time in our intestinal tract.

so rebecca call that spaghetti girl back.....keep the girl and ditch the spaghetti!
i have a lot of food ive done this with..still more to go...mines sushi now....so so so hard to let go of...its not about depriving though...as long as im clear i feel ok about making a decision about whether or not to eat exactly what i want...if you are clear on spaghetti then eat it! but i think youll find once youve addressed it the spaghetti loses its magic hold....

i can make a 10 page list of things that had that magic hold on me that i swore i would never never give up....

The Sonoma Diet

Did you hear about this one? Guess what the top 10 power foods are?

Almonds
Bell peppers
Blueberries
Broccoli
Grapes
Olive oil
Spinach
Strawberries
Tomatoes
Whole grains

and they advocate a glass of red wine with meals, and they base it on...ready...the MEDITERRANEAN diet! Yep. If you watched the videos on FOOD AS MEDICINE, that's how he cured his cancer. Just noticing...

Early Morning Call.....

I love being woken up up early...Ive been up for a while now after this amazing dream and Ive just been working away...

I think Ive realized that I need to feel completely free...any amount of pressure begins to build on me and starts to cause stress and my body just shuts down....I dont mean I need to be alone floating without a cord, just that I have always worked best lived best loved best am most calm most happy healthy when I feel like this....I used to think I could only feel like this with certain people or in certain places...I knew it was me, but it didnt actually truly sink in until yesterday that literally it is ME. Its my attitude my feelings...of course there are people places and things that make me feel stressed and stifled or calm and free but for the most part its my reaction and my abiility to hold center....in my center is a free woman that can be that way anwhere anytime....but she forgets that!!!

anyway this may have all been obvious to you guys and subconsciously it was for me but yesterday I consciously got it between the eyes......! Now I just have to remember it and hold it!!

off to do more work!

THE EXPERT'S RULES THAT DON'T WORK FOR ME ANYMORE

0. Avocados have too much fat
0. Coffee is bad for you
0. Coffee is good for you
0. Don't drink fruit juice because it is too high in sugar
0. Don't drink water with your meals
0. Don't eat after 6pm
0. Don't eat CARBS
0. Don't ever ever eat dessert
0. Don't mix fruit with anything
0. Don't snack
0. Don't waste
0. Drink water with your meals
0. Eat 6 times a day
0. Eat from all the food groups at every meal
0. Eat lots of snacks
0. Eliminate bread, sugar, flour, wheat
0. Finish everything on your plate
0. Fruit has too much sugar
0. Meat is good for you
0. Milk is good for you
0. Never order dessert
0. No snacking
0. Nuts have too much fat
0. Only eat 3 meals
0. Too many nuts is fattening
0. Watch the fruit-it's high in sugar
0. You have to eat 3 meals a day
0. You have to count calories
0. You have to count carbs
0. You have to have protein with every meal
0. You have to measure your portions
0. You have to weigh your portions
0. You have to write everything down
0. You MUST eat your vegetables
0. You must follow the food pyramid
0. You need animal protein to survive
0. Your body has something wrong with it
0. Your body is supposed to look like we tell you
Your perfect weight is what we tell you it is

TAKING ACTION TODAY

These are click links that will do some good. And don't do this just once. Make it daily. Hah! Now you can check in to the blog, and you can click these sites to do good. Every time you click you are bringing that copper tray closer so we can do more good.

Clicking daily does good things.
To end world hunger click here. So far 319, 222 children have been fed through this site.
CLICK TO END WORLD HUNGER

We had things like "save the rainforest" on our copper tray: so start magnetizing that today with these actions taken daily.
Click on The rainforest green button and save the land.
CLICK TO SAVE THE RAINFOREST

Here's the click for the healthcare for children button to click daily for free to make a difference. It's the ACTION today to bring that energy to us girls.
CLICK FOR CHILD HEALTH

Click for the animal rescue button that is the purple fund food for animals click
CLICK FOR ANIMAL RESCUE

Click for funding books for kids-the red button
CLICK FOR BOOKS FOR KIDS

Click to save the dolphins here.
CLICK TO SAVE THE DOLPHINS
Click to save baby seals
CLICK TO SAVE BABYSEALS
Click to save primates
CLICK TO SAVE PRIMATES
Click for the humane society
CLICK TO SAVE PETS
Click to stop violence against women worldwide
CLICK TO PROTECT WOMEN WORLDWIDE

And every click let yourself know you are doing good.
Namaste!

OUR GOALS

0. To be honest with ourselves
0. To befriend our bodies
0. To feel alive
0. To find the lie in what we have believed
0. To find what TRULY feeds us
0. To free the lost babies inside and bring them home
0. To have radiant skin
0. To hold ourselves gently, and each other
0. To ignite our passion and power
0. To listen to ourselves
0. To make a change
0. To own our feelings and our selves
0. To plunge into radical waters
0. To regain our balance
0. To relish our emotions
0. To renew our zest for life
0. To respect ourselves
0. To stand in the open with pride
To wake up

FARMER'S MARKETS in our areas

Here's a partial list of Farmer's Markets in our areas. For the full list CLICK FOR FARMER'S MARKET UTAH LIST So you can think about spring and summer shopping.

Bountiful
Bountiful Farmers Market
First East and First South above Main Street
Bountiful, UT
(801) 295-9879
Mary Carpenter
October –
Thursday, 4:00 p.m.-dusk

Heber City
Heber Valley Farmers Mkt. and Concert in the Park
Heber City
Heber City, UT
(801) 654-4555
Chuck & Helen Warren
June – September
Thursday, 4:00 p.m.-9:00 p.m.

Holladay
Holladay Farmers Market
4677 S. Holladay Blvd.
Holladay, UT 84117
(801) 272-0691
Dennis Ickes
http://www.holladaychamber.org
July – October
Saturday, 9:00 a.m.1:00 p.m.

Kamas
Kamas Farmers Market
Kamas Rodeo Grounds, Summit Co.
Kamas, UT
(435) 783-4766
Sheila Richard
Saturday, 11:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m.

Murray
Murray Park Farmers Market
Murray City Park, 200 East 5200 South
Murray, UT 84121
(801) 233-3010
Reed Balls
http://www.utfb.fb.org
August – October
Friday & Saturday, 9:00 a.m.- late afternoon

Ogden
Ogden Farmers Market
Municipal Park, 25th Street at Grant
Ogden, UT
(801) 394-3913
Robin Macnofsky
July – October
Saturday, 8:00 a.m.-12:00 noon

Park City
Park City Farmers Market at the Canyons
4000 The Canyons Resort Dr. parking lot
Park City, UT 84060
(435) 336-6033
Volker Ritzinger
http://www.parkcityfarmersmarket.com
May – October
Wednesday, 2:00 p.m.-7:00 p.m.

Salt Lake City
Salt Lake City Farmers Market
379 South 300 West Pioneer Park
Salt Lake City, UT 84111
(801) 359-5118
Kimberly Angeli
http://www.downtownslc.org
June – October
Saturday, 8:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m.

Sandy
Sandy Farmers Market
South Towne Center, 10450 S. State St.
Sandy, UT
(801) 233-3011
Reed Balls
August – October
Friday & Saturday, 8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m.

gentle with this heart of mine....

well i am here in salt lake....and getting healthy after that nasty cold...! wanted to thank you guys for posting ideas about that 'waiting' 'in between' thing...and rebecca thanks for the insight about the shadow of old me...i was looking at it as a test but it feels better to think of it like a passerby...

i have a mitral valve prolapse and i keep forgetting that...also that there is a whole 'syndrome' that goes along with it...i hate to attach to syndromes so i 'forgot' about the MVP sort of ignored it...but a lot of the symptoms are explainable and if i can just accept that this is whats going on i
can work on healing it and not go crazy each time one of these symptoms comes up...this cold gave me the opportunity to look at all of the symptoms individually...it was different than last years cold in that way...i could isolate and check out each thing happening sort of like individual musicians in an orchestra....it makes a lot of sense now that i remembered the MVP....i had 3 people practically slap me with very random MVP comments and i was looking at them like a deer in headlights....duh those were for me...have to focus more on whats coming in ---theres so much all the time its been hard to be discerning and know whats what when!! also have to remember to be gentle with myself...

anyway hope you guys are well and hope to see you all soon!

REVERSE OSMOSIS

Rebecca I would love you to post the information you researched on water. I cancelled the new softener because it's soft enough. From a 24 to a 5 is good for now since we've never had soft water and if feels slimey to me! I am waiting for the reverse osmosis guy to show up now.

But more information please and since you have already done it-teach me! Teach us!

I wanted to mention too that I didn't have any grains yesterday and lo' I didn't wake at 4am and I didn't have any congestion this morning. None. More noticing is all...

Well Lay Me Down and Flog Me With This Blog...

(Second attempt...now successful I do believe..._

Lauren Dear,

Waiting...not my subject of choice right now, but evidently what I need to address. So, here goes...

I'm waiting... to move to SLC...can't til house transaction is completed with distasteful family member. What can I do? Bless them, forgive myself for the judgement, again...do ho'o'ponapona, again... let go of needing to know when and how, again... laugh at myself for my impatience, and do my gratitude litany.

I'm waiting...for rotator cuff to heal...re-injured it on Saturday doing something "stupid", now my right shoulder, elbow, and hand are in pain, and I have to WAIT, be patient,not use them (hah!), and for allow tincture of time. What can I do? Mesa work, daily visualization of shoulder healing to avoid surgery, let go of worrying about trip to Oregon in a few weeks, and Costa Rica, let go, let go, let go. Forgive self for not being more mindful of body, and protecting this precious vessel. Remember that I am re-birthing myself to the next stage of life, again...and the time, whatever it takes, is truly about nurturing me, gifting myself with what the IA class taught me...LISTENING AND HONORING THE BODY'S WISDOM. When did I quit listening? When it was too painful, when it became a habit, when I was conditioned to do otherwise, when I went to sleep. WAKE UP Linda!

I'm waiting...for spring to come to the Rockies...to plant pansies and dig in the soil, and...wait! We're moving back to the apartment here, and waiting to see Costa Rica, and for the house to sell here, and for us to find a place to move to in SLC. What can I do? Enjoy my aero garden, and take pleasure like my Roger, in the chives that are leaping out of their container, and the two kinds of basil, and parsley, and wondering where the heck that silly Cilantro. is. Honor the timing of this country, rejoice in the silliness of the bulb of garlic that is madly sprouting, knowing its saying "its spring SOMEWHERE in the world". I can honor my bodies timing, and know that this too will pass, and I'll be moving, again, at the right time, and that all is right in the Universe.

I'm waiting...to join the raw revolution...not sure why, but I am. What can I do? I can look to that time, and know I'll be in it full bore, and follow in the steps of the group that has allowed me to be a part of this. I can be grateful for Joy, her wisdom, and her tenacity, and to Rebecca and Jacquie, and others for their candidness. I can be peaceful, knowing that my time is coming soon. I can gather tools, and inspiration, and do my mesa work, and wait...for my time.

I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and this is the rhythm of the Universe. Sometimes fast (usually, in my life), and sometimes creeping along with the pace of a snail. And that is life, my life, and I'm blessed. What can I do? I can search through my stacks of books new and old that have inspired me to observe Universal timing; The Silent Pulse: A Search for the Perfect Rhythm That Exists in Each of Us, by George Leonard and dig out the loaned book A Sideways Look At Time, by Jay Griffith, and know that it is the perfect time for me to read them, because I've stepped out of man-made time...push, push, push, now, now, now. I can laugh at the insanity we call progress, and step as mindfully into the wisdom of the body that says, NOW...get up and run, or lay down and nap, or feed me. I can laugh at myself, and my feeble attempts to force my time on my world.

And...lest you think I'm peaceful about all of this, I'M NOT!!! I remarked to my darlin' Roger one time, "I wish I had your patience". He said "honey, I'm not patient, I'm persistent!". And that sums it up. What can I do? I can remember that I'm persistent. And, when I have days that I wake up like Tuesday, and the wind has howled all night, and my bones and muscles are screaming, I count my blessings that I have the resources to nurture myself without having to go to work; what a huge blessing. I'm grateful. I'm grateful for a husband who doesn't condem or reproach me, who supports me. I'm grateful for the complimentary modalities I've studies for 30 years that keep me tools as drug free as possible, and know that "this too will pass". And I'm grateful for a community here that knows that despite my having gone periscope down for over a year, that like the crocus, I'll pop back one of these days, brighter, stronger, more sunny than ever.

In the meantime, I'm waiting...and I'm smiling, and sometimes I cry, but I always know I'm blessed. And I am very grateful for the honesty of those who say this is where I'm at, and its not fun, and it hurts, and I've slid backwards. Welcome to my world, and being human. And by the way, I'm waiting for someone to address the bomb that went off in this house, and all the boxes I have all over, sorting out things for our next move.

What can I do? Laugh, listen, learn, and be grateful. Slow learner at nearly 58. But I'm alive, and counting my blessings.

I think you're doing great Lauren. Ask yourself these questions now, learn them now. Be grateful for those who are willing to share; compost what doesn't fit for you. And LAUGH! I've been way too serious my whole life. Like my new puppy, TAZ, I need to wiggle my butt more, grin, and enjoy myself! See you soon,

Love,

Linda

ACID ALKALINE AND INFLAMMATION-you asked for it

Alkaline foods are primarily: fruits and vegetables which are great detoxifiers and antioxidants.

LEMON goes alkaline in your body.

ACIDIC foods slow and inhibit the detox process. Simple. Acid foods are meats, eggs, pasteurized dairy, then beans, cooked tomatoes, nuts and seeds and fruits.

Meats, eggs and wheat all contain arachidonic acid which causes inflammation if we get too much of it. And guess what. For most of us we have too much of it STORED in our bodies that it can't get rid of. It needs good consistent nutrition it can count on to have the ENERGY to dump the toxins.

This is an alchemical process we are establishing in our body. It’s not random. It’s going to immediately demonstrate to us a result for our effort-pro or con.

Choose your acids wisely. Your body is demonstrating EXACTLY the amount it can tolerate now. Seeds, nuts, fruits, maybe cooked tomato products and maybe beans or not. That’s about 10% of your current raw diet. No more. Look at the list for sulfur forms foods, phosphorus sources that are vegetarian. Acidic foods are high in sulfur (eggs), phosphorus and nitrogen.

Acid forming foods are inflammatory and mucus forming. they increase free radical damage and therefore cellular damage. If you are reacting to eggs then don’t eat eggs yet.

Most animal proteins are irritants to the mucosa and actually invoke an immune response. That immune response is what we are feeling immediately. Congestion in the lungs, the joints, the sinus’ the ear canals, the throat, the intestines, our whole body aching, that’s an ALLERGIC response.

Going raw for 30 got us clear. Then we selectively began to add things back in so that we knew exactly what was causing us an issue.

These toxins go into the lympathic system to get processed out but our lymphatic system can only MOVE it out if we MOVE. It doesn’t have the heart to pump it like the blood does. That’s why our lymphs back up and get congested and swollen when they work and we used to think we were getting a cold or the flu. We ARE really, if you think about it. A cold is a reaction from our body, and our body is trying to get rid of an invasion! It is trying to right itself again. Homeostasis. It has to do something. What we don’t eliminate we accumulate.

We are biologically programmed for a balance of alkaline/acid with the minimum of 60% fresh, 20% animal products, 10% fats. Now, we haven’t had that most of our lives so we are noticing our body starting to feel strong enough to get rid of stuff. It gets rid of it by beginning to release it into the bloodstream so we can process it out and into our kidneys and then OUT.

Inflammation...

Okay, so sleeping last night was absolutely miserable for me. Too much protein, I think. Could that be the reason? Too much protein causes inflammation, right? I had eggs and Prosage links for dinner last night. I could hardly sit still in class. God! I hate inflammation! It makes me hurt everywhere. Uggh! Joy, or anyone, can you summarize what you know about inflammation? What causes it, how does one get rid of it? I mean, are there specific foods or vitamins that are super terrific at getting rid of it? Whatever it is, I want to consume a vat of it. I know that eating raw food works, but as a typical American I'm looking for immediate relief. Go body, go! Raw, raw, raw! (Instead of rah, rah, rah!) Hee.

Like Joy said, at least I know why I feel terrible. There is no wondering if I'm catching a cold or getting the flu. I know it's because I've been eating too much cooked food, and probably too much protein.

Please, Body, please don't abandon me before I get this figured out!

Questions for the group!

So my pattern is to create something stressful dramatic a diversion until 'it' comes...maybe this is the artist in me...art school was miserable deadlines hell----to birth something was so incredibly painful...im sure many of you relate...its almost like suffering is the only way to validate the creation...and now that im feeling a little better today im having all of these ideas --- i knew i would but it wasnt ready yet it was gestating...so my dumb self is saying oh thats what all this was it was holding pattern until baby ready to come out......I NEED TO LEARN BETTER SKILLS>

ive gotten better at holding center in the meantime- reading, resting, meditation, working....but there are days when nothing comes? i get bored!!! this tortured creator thing is garbage -- i dont buy it but i dont know another way....help!

i was thinking about pregnancy and the importance of those 9 months before birthing a baby...and how important it is to take care of the woman....why am i not treating myself my 'work' the same way? i cant even imagine being pregnant for 9 months? i would go insane i think waiting and waiting...bored! i need to change this---birthing is birthing and the in between in sacred!!!

so new question is what new can i do in the meantime while im birthing something?
what do you guys do when you are 'waiting'? in between?
why do we not value those moments before birthing us our ideas the same as those '9 months' before birthing someone else?