Reflections

So, if those around us are reflections, and we are being bombarded with people who are insisting that they have to have their painful story, and that NO ONE understands their pain, including you, and that there is no other way for them to have it but big, bad and painful, and then they throw it at everyone else and make it their fault that they are feeling this way...and can't see that they are doing it to themselves...and really don't want to shift out but rather pull you in...what do you do?

I have to first ask
do I do that? Have I done that? Can I understand? That's the hoponopono. Right?
Then I have to ask can I see it through their eyes? And can I empathize? Can I see it another way?
I have to ask myself how it is triggering me, and what it is triggering in me, too. That's the gift.
I have to take that inside and say obviously I am supposed to be noticing something profound.

It's the 'you can't understand' part that begins to trigger some of us. With the healing work, we DO understand. But, we don't take position and that seems to be maddening to some. I can empathize. Perhaps I'm not sympathetic enough to their dilemma lately? Perhaps I'm not truly giving them their choice to release it, or am I simply no longer willing to be part of their wounding story about life? But I've had a few of these lately.

We can ask ourselves questions though, when we have something like this happen:

Where might I not feel like I have a choice?
Where might I not be empathizing with their version of the truth?

How do we validate them, their story and their pain, without enabling?
How do we hold space for them to step out of it, without being accused of trying to fix them?

We discussed this today in class, and it's quite an issue I think.
Remember, everyone has a choice, and everything is working just fine. Don't try and fix anything or anyone. It's only them that can do it anyway!

Don't take away their power-and for some, their pain story is their power. It takes time to recode, and teach the system a new strategy, but it's at identity. Hold space for them to shift into their light, but don't enable...oh! what an edge we dance on! Who said this work was easy peasy, piece of cake?