Thursday, January 31, 2008


More evidence that there are things that we can't even begin to imagine that we can do.

"Change the energy, change the manifestation of the mass." How did he move stones weighing tons, by himself, with no equipment? How did he create a 9 ton solid stone door that swivels silently with the touch of a fingertip?

He died in 1951-what else have we forgotten that we ever knew, and how did he tap into that field of information?


I had a really amazing acupuncture/energy session from a good friend of mine a few days ago. I hadnt had any work done with someone in a while I kept hearing I needed work but of course Ive been in this strange relationship with myself recently sort of putting off what I know I need to do to take care of myself (allowing myself to get into depleated zone NOT OK!) --- anyway I realized I was long overdue with all the work I had been doing with myself. I noticed I was cursing more and was edgy and irritable, things around seemed to not be moving not be shifting and i was getting PISSED! I was reminded during that session about stagnation and how bowels really have to move. So liver was being effected too - anyway released a lot and going back tuesday and wednesday - before I come to salt lake! ill be there on the 7th! Lets please please try to get together this time ok! Even just for a fun dinner I feel like I need to see all of you together!

Thursday, January 24, 2008


So I finally opened up 'the big one', my big mesa...I havent opened it in a really long time maybe months?? just with all the waiting for renovation approval for a few months now here I had put a bunch of things away. I woke up this morning saying ok enough of this stagnant energy on the apartment...literally its been holding me up here and its not ok. Yesterday when I walked up the stairs and was at my front door I noticed for the very first time really noticed the 5a hand written paper in the doorbell - it occurred to me that I needed my hand on this door - this is MY place. So I pulled out that old card and hand drew my own 5a and stuck it in the place holder. Done. My super called me with more info an hour later...but still no answer to begin - and im flowing and im ok but i think this may be a piece on action and voice...

Can you guys please check and send love on whats going on --- Ive been literally working on this all morning and for months and have cleared some huge pieces - and i see a bit of whats going on with my managing agent etc but its enough....

There seems to be a lot waiting for this to push through so please send some loving this way to get the ok to start... so I can move forward!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Kinergetics Video

I thought this was interesting. I had a Kinergetics session yesterday and can really feel the difference.
It looks a bit magical doesn't it?

You can see him doing the jaw stacking, and I'm still not sure how he cued in to what she needed but there you have it!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Fear around us

Times are upon us, not to radiate fear but to hold that space of clear light so that others can find their way. This is a challenge.
But! It is what we have signed up for or we wouldn't be here now.

The more clarity we hold, the more we FEEL the emotional turmoil and fear of others. This can be daunting. This can be overwhelming. Is it all ours? Is it all theirs? Is it one of the other? We are in a constant state of ayni, of reciprocity, give and take. Where is the separation? is there any? I could feel waves of emotion from other people for the last few weeks. Everywhere. All the time. I was getting ill with so much emotion coming at me, and I was trying to retreat and numb out-can we anymore? I don't think it's possible.

What do we do with it then? That's our western preconceived notion that we must DO.

As Amma has said, "hold them, love them". She doesn't take it upon herself, she holds clear communication with Creator, and loves them, as they are. She doesn't intend for them to heal, and yet often they do. By her holding that clear space, she offers them each a chance to see themselves the way she sees them-in their light. That is the offering.

When we feel lost, we are in danger of forgetting this. If we forget, then there is no beacon for those around us. If those around you seem lost, get quiet and still, and clear yourself because they are a reflection of what is going on in you. When we think we have to DO, we are missing something because we are too close.

Forgive yourself for your own doubt, for your own fear, for your own loss of faith, perhaps.
Forgive yourself and then thank them for bringing it to your attention.

Doing nothing feels passive, it feels inadequate, it feels disconnected.
And yet.
Active prayer is anything but passive.
We can't begin to explain all of what it is that we do when we are still and quiet inside. But that is the place we must get to.
Find the light inside yourself, and reconnect to it.


This was a documentary special on CBS that aired in Dec shortly before Xmas. If you missed it then, it is in seven parts online.
Here is one part-
12 of the most influential spiritual leaders of our time are profiled and interviewed...


this is a clip of AMMA, from the CBS special "In God's Name".
Most of you have experienced the rose oil I have from Amma, which is a very high frequency!

Interesting language when she says "I hug them, and then I become them".

She says "I am always in communication with God".
She says "I want to give, and not take, so they call me AMMA, mother".
She estimates she has hugged upwards of 26 MILLION people-the message, to love others.

Friday, January 18, 2008

GREAT OLD BROADS for wilderness

Starting of the new year with ideas of where and how to make a commitment and make a difference: take a look at these places that are doing just that. One of the shamanic students has brought them to my attention, and he volunteers at several of them. Thought you might find it interesting. I also have added several other places to volunteer on the list to the right...scan down to find it.

GREAT OLD BROADS FOR WILDERNESS support projects that are pro mother earth! Take a look at their website.

THE SHARING PLACE is another great non-profit that is for families and children to process through grief. They have a training program that costs $100. and then you volunteer 6 hours a month for 10 months as a commitment, and work with group support. Looks like an amazing place!

BEAR RIVER WATERSHED COUNCIL is another you might want to take a look at.

UTAH FEDERATION FOR YOUTH doing great projects with kids.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Tattoos that Change with Touch

Ignore the commercial that starts this off, but watch this bit on tattoos that change with touch! This is very cool!!! Do you think it could have been influenced by our friends? It's so Star TrekKie!

Sunday, January 13, 2008


So today is the 3 year of my dads accident. I just cant believe its been 3 years - its amazing how time has seemed over these years sometimes moving so quickly and sometimes so slow and suspended feeling. Ive been thinking a lot about this idea of suspended time in relation to being in moments. Its that feeling of being so completely in it where there is just no time and you feel everything around you.

Its amazing though to look back on where Ive been - I forget sometimes to give myself a pat and say good job lauren. you are here. I feel so different today than i did then, well even than a month ago and even 2 weeks ago...heck even a few days ago. It seems like things are processing so much faster and so much evolution of thoughts and feelings.

I feel my dads presence so much around me tonight - im sure calling him in with me here - Im about to head to the airport tonight for a red-eye back in to nyc into a noreaster but it seems as though the flight has no delays... Its always this bit of sadness when leaving something or someplace or someone behind. This knowing that you have to go that there is another piece ahead of you that life continues and growth happens, but its the sadness of an ending of some moments. This is how I feel about leaving tonight and about my dad tonight, knowing that time continues, that life continues that there is so much beauty and adventure and love ahead, but there is a letting go here of time. In that way I know a goodbye is not a goodbye, that you take it all with you carry it onto the next town the next series of moments...

Its this inbetween that before used to scare the shit out of me that I have found so much beauty in this past December and these past few weeks and now tonight. This moment of perfect potential of balance that I had labeled imbalance before. This moment where there is equal past and present where there is equal going and coming. It no longer scares me...I find it so quiet and beautiful and pure magic, the letting go of the fear of whats been and whats to come....

hope to see you all next visit...

Friday, January 11, 2008

Take it to the Mesa-

May I just ask you "what's going on in your mesa?"

Aqua Chi Footbath

Can I just mention again-if you have a footbath unit, use it! (Kathy!) and if you don't have one, consider it. I absolutely love it, and you get a student discount!

Neno and Jon and I continue to use it, and especially with the detoxing right now, I notice the difference. This is something that they both love to use, and Neno actually asked if he could take one back to College with him. I'm considering it because he gets way overloaded. In spas these treatments are going for $50-70.00! It boosts our own system so that it has the energy to right itself. That's why I love it.

I was just talking to the developer, and you know, there was an experiment someone posted a few years ago...some of you might have seen it because I printed it out way back.

They took two sets of identical vegetables, and one set was placed in the footbath water in a cold water soak for 20 minutes. The other was not. Then they placed them on paper plates side by side, and left them, and took pictures every few days. The vegetables that had been ionized lasted, unrefrigerated, for 20 days, and the other set was rotten well before that.

We should do this since we're eating so much more fresh and raw! I don't know why I didn't think of it before! I'm going to recreate that experiment for myself.

He was telling me about all the science and research that they had done, and about how to use it with animals. Lots of information. He did say that some units out there that are reversing the pulse are actually dangerous and can strip the cells of vitality. Unfortunately he didn't name any names.

Yeah-these are vegetables! :)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Raw Juice Fast

Fasting has been recommended as a healing process. It allows the body to rest. Traditionally, it's been water fasts, which can be debilitating for many and not recommended for more than 3 days at a time. Many do it one day a week, or from time to time, and love it, but often feel weak.

Stanley Burrows lemon/raw maple syrup/water cleanse can also be debilitating for some. It tends to be 10 days. Do not do this if you have any blood sugar issues. While I like it, I also feel deprived when I am on it. But many love it! I like it for 3 days.

But! Raw juice fasting is so easy by comparison! My system feels satisfied, it thrives, and it feels fed and you feel like you have MORE energy.

When you are fasting, your body will "autodigest", which means it will begin to release and 'digest', which is a way to release toxins and mobilize them. That means that you want to exercise so your body can move it out of the lymphatic system and our bloodstream. Exercising and footbaths and sweats all help to support the liver, skin, kidneys and lungs.

Juice fasting doesn't ONLY let your body rest from the effort of digestion, but it also FEEDS your body. Raw juice allows your system to almost immediately take the nutrition in. That means that you are giving your body what it needs in order TO rebalance and detoxify.

We have a minimum fuel requirement of 400 calories a day, and juice fasting will supply that so that the body doesn't begin to break down protein/muscle.

Drinking small amounts of raw juice gives you fewer calories, and may intensify the cleansing symptoms-so drink juice. And remember-we're raw-ISH. If you want to eat something, do. This isn't about deprivation.

You might find your nose running-that's part of the detox. Mine did the first 2 days, and then stopped. I felt the most detoxing yuks on the 3rd day. I did a footbath, pushed myself to go to the club, and drank more juice. It did help. I did also have some cooked spinach with garlic, olive oil and lemon-yum, and a few slices of red bell pepper in the evening.

Woke up feeling good! DID notice though that yesterday the 'fungal fiends' were up and talking, so I had to really work them through. My ears were itchy, my stomach felt bloated, and it's all part of the die off.

Happy juicing to you all!


Jacquie and I were talking about probiotics and what they are, and what we want them for, so I thought I'd post it for everyone.
Probiotics are the GOOD bacteria for our intestinal tract and help us to digest our foods. We should have at least 85% GOOD bacteria down in our lower intestines, and helps keep our all important COLON clear! There are over 400 types of friendly bacteria that are geared to helping us!

Probiotics help our immune system-and our immune system is in our intestinal tract-following me?
Probiotics will help with candida, vaginal infections, athlete's foot, thrush, which are all fungal infections.

Now, remember, fungus is connected to resentment, in the emotional template.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008


Ive been processing a huge piece about offerings, giving, and giving freely. Intellectually i get that before i really had the belief that people zapped me took from me stole my power my magic...its amazing how that alone created such dis-ease in my body. It all finally processed and came up over these past few days of how each person each thing each moment feeds me nourishes me inspires me fills me...just that perspective change has changed my life. I learn in each moment - even if someones being a jerk theres a lesson, and I see how clearly its a choice to see things in a certain light. Also each moment I have a choice to slow down reflect accept the offering and then go in an give more surrendering more into it...and wow instantly the pain the stress the anxiety the story - it all fades.

Each moment I have the choice to see something as an offering. ITs life changing to understand things like this---even if it seems shitty its still an offering and always what you choose to make of it. Im not a victim anymore - its totally cleared wow. Even if i go victim i know its just me being in my story and letting myself stew in it...but i dont let myself hang there for too long these days...Or I do just long enough to get the lesson and get on...Feels so empowering to know that even in down cycles theres a lesson and a gift and its not an omen or hell or the end of the world...haha...its sounds so funny but man i really thought that before...hahaha. No wonder I was so sick and hated humans. haha... This clearly feels much better. haha

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Sharing the juice

Wanted you guys to know that as I make juice in the morning, I make enough for 2 glasses (about 16 oz each) and give one to Chuck on his way to work. He faithfully takes it (and I think he drinks it), and it gives me a little more incentive to habitize the thing. I'm pretty much at 90% raw now, although for the last couple of days I've had one dinner roll at lunchtime (needed extra energy for the 40 laps at the gym pool).

CA - your e-mail on a weeks' worth of dining was pretty revealing - did you notice that the physical size of the people expanded (in the wrong direction) with meat and processed foods (U.S. and Germany)? Although I have to say I had some misgivings when I saw what people were eating for a week and realized I was putting at least a day's worth of food in my juicer each morning. Maybe I'll take one day and eat the amount I've put in the juicer and see what happens. That may be enough without any other food and would give me the same nutrients plus added fiber.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Day 2

Well, I must say I am amazed and delighted, yet again! I feel good. I've feel clear headed, lots of energy, no snacking, everyone "inside" is snacking rebels.

I fixed a 25 oz raw juice this morning, and at lunch realized I hadn't eaten anything else! Cool! I had some almonds, and a banana for lunch, and cruised through the day making the avoided phone calls to apple and nova spending most of the afternoon explaining my issue over and over. But I kept my cool and got through it. Almost. That's another story.

I had dinner with the men, but mostly stayed with the vegetables. I'm going to make another raw juice tonight. This is so good to come back to, and so good to remember what it feels like. I agree with Pam, keeping it simple this time round.

Last time I didn't juice until the second or third month. This time it feels even easier as the juice is so satisfying. I must say that it feels like my body absorbs it immediately.


If you all haven't seen this show, or know what it is, rent it!
WEEDS season 1 is at Blockbuster. The boys gave me Season 2 for Christmas, and I just had such a great time watching it, I've added Showtime to my lineup so I can watch Season 3. I don't want to wait a year to catch it. I may cancel after watching it, but for a month, what the heck!

This is a great, quirky show with outstanding characters that are different and fun. If you are tired of blood, gore, and violence, do yourself a favor and tune in. It's a hoot! We all need more laughs.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

New Raw Food Videos To Watch

Check out the video bar to the side.There are four very interesting videos all concerning raw food lifestyles. Not cooking, but switching, living, and losing weight too. I thought you might find it interesting watching on these snowy days!

First Raw Day

Well, almost raw, but already feeling clearer! I packed away the treats today, cleared the counters, have had huge green juice all day, and made myself a boiled egg this afternoon. I feel lighter (energetically) and certainly feel better. I'm going to make a raw-ish dinner now, and wanted to thank you all for the kick in the be-hind to get myself going again! Nothing like the thought of being left behind..."wait for me!" lol

On another note: it has snowed ALL DAY here! I've never seen it like this, but then, I've also never had so many windows onto the snow either. I swear, Roxi can walk over the fence now the snow is so high in the backyard! She discovered today that she can walk out onto it-until now she's been gingerly skirting it as best she could. Oh oh! Now we are in trouble!

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Let the detox begin!

I have faithfully prepared and drank green juice every morning for the last week, and have alternated between 80 to 90% raw each day. I've also been getting up each day a half-hour earlier to use my elliptical. I'm beginning to feel the detoxing effects with frequent headaches, draining sinuses, and slightly swollen gums. Other effects I've noticed is irritability and insomnia. On the other hand, my energy level has increased, which was a blessing yesterday at work when chaos occurred.

I'm keeping it very simple and the mainstay of my diet includes fresh fruits, olive oil, and slightly-sauteed vegetables. I'm finding at this point that I don't want to try anything fancy or prepare any new recipes. Maybe this will change the longer I'm on raw!

Friday, January 4, 2008

My Hand

Sometimes we can hold our heart on the tips of our fingers, you know?