Thursday, May 31, 2007

The Water is No Longer Still......

Diva Sages,

I have the most profound since of urgency.

As Shamans, one wonders why we chose this particular expression of spirituality, or did it choose us. Of course the answer is both as we understand the circle of life, this path of enlightenment. Still what are we to do with this knowledge and our ability to heal. Yes we heal ourselves to heal our communities and the communities the nations and the nations the world and the world the cosmos. I absolutely see the beauty of the pebble dropped into still water. However, the water is no longer still.

The energy coming in to our planet is beyond anything ever experienced. The shift is happening now, not 2012 but 09/18/07. The transition is profound and those of us consciousness and skilled are being asked to hold the space. This great shift is profoundly affecting our world and all our family: the four legged, the two legged, the winged, the finned, the creepy crawlies, the mineral kingdom, the plant kingdom.

Why did we choose this incarnation? What brought us to this place of mastery and why are we walking with each other at this particular time in history? I believe we are Masters, Mystics and Shamans. We are here as cosmic midwives. We have lived many life times to ready ourselves for this life time. We have come together because the synergy created by our union is also profoundly powerful, far beyond what any one of us can do singularly. "When two or more are gathered...."

The experience of the fire last night was just incredible. Of course you always realize more as you walk away and reflect on the experience. The fire itself, the laughter, the Full Moon. It felt wonderful (WONDER- FULL) being held in that place: the mountains, rock, water, plants and earth. The many four legged that came, the winged, the finned and the creepy crawly. All came and I believe all are calling us. Even the two legged came but not while we were in ceremony but before and after as we created the sacred and became one with the sacred. The communion with one another was no less profound. In particular I was very touched by Lauren opening her medicine bag and with trust pouring her "heart stones" out into the hands of Kathy, Catherine Ann and I as we stood around her in a tightly nit circle.

So my Sisters of the Diva Sage, I believe it is time for us to gather in our power, in our wisdom and with all our gifts hold space for the birth of this new world. It is time to form our circle of wisdom. What say you?

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

CA it didn't post?

Hey, your post on the journey and your new schedule didn't show up? Or am i blind as well as bad hair?

Instant Change

Well I can take responsibility for this one. We got to watch our thoughts now! It's so fast!
I was driving to Ogden to get my hair done at last. Last week I very definitely remember her telling me 6:30pm, which was only 45 min that my usual appt. She didn't have anything earlier. I wanted something earlier! I went a couple of hours early and hung out, so I was in town. Got a juice. Looked at shoes...

As I was driving to Ogden earlier though, I had had the thought that maybe I should wait a week. That way I don't have to get it cut again before I leave on my adventure...then I let it go.

It's the "then I let it go" part that we have to master.

Yep. You guessed it. She wrote down 5:30, AND wrote my phone number down wrong. So when I showed up at 6:30pm she was gone!

Destined to have bad hair for another week I guess! But I did ask for it. Will I ever learn???

Monday, May 28, 2007

Weathering storms

I think what i didnt write was that it was my dads death that freed me because he was the one i couldnt hold my boundaries with because he hurt me too much...i was like a boat in the storm and he was the water just crashing me every which wonder I could only let her out when he was gone....the storm was over the anger about it and i love him for all of the gifts i was given he was so incredibly amazing and wonderful...i can weather all sorts of storms now with a resilience and grace even i am amazed by...

I just was too little to know how to protect myself in rough waters and no one around me knew how to either...but we are all learning and growing and holding ourselves....

And it wasnt just him it just set up a pattern for my life up until now, anything and everything could permeate right through me....but i had locked up very safely my divine child....i was smart enough to do that...i think i just couldnt find my way back and wouldnt let myself find the crumb trail to her until it was safe...When he died I found a very battered weathered girl on a shipwrecked boat holding a box, and like those russian dolls if I keep opening and opening Ill find the heart I put there so long ago...It feels really close now...and maybe I even have it already I just havent realized it completely....

Becoming a Woman...

Ive been thinking about this for a while written about it challenged it and fought it within me - what this means to be a woman...Its not that I dont want to be a mother or a wife I just want to be able to be a woman first without needing to be defined through the union with another - for me menstruation wasnt a big deal, losing my virginity was even less of a big deal... Even my bat-mitzvah, what was supposed to be my becoming a woman ceremony was quite uneventful...

I knew the girl was gone when my father died....That was a day that forever changed me....I knew I had to become my own woman.... There were many times before when I was young that the girl I was was killed or taken or abandoned....I lost her a very very long time ago, too young to even remember...When he died she died, .then a year later she was given a chance to be reborn a new.... I hadnt been able to retrieve her I couldnt get her and grow her up because she had been splintered and fractured in so many pieces-- I do know the gift from my father was this chance to find her to be reborn, to be a girl again, to regain that innocence that I had believe in magic become a woman own woman....Its like a was given a bag of pieces of me to take on this journey to explore to heal to love to shed to transform....

For so many women why is it only when innocence is lost that we find ourselves in this new space without choice, womanhood....? Its no wonder we struggle with marriage and children with who we are what we are. This is what this time has been about for me, becoming my own woman finding myself ritualizing this time for myself...allowing myself to do what i need, my own ceremony...Im not really sure when or how my innocence was lost...I find myself surrounded by women that were victims of sexual abuse, and I dont think thats what happened with me, but whatever 'it' was or the rituals of 'it' were that occured with me isnt really important to know at this time... it was a boundary violation and it may not have been sexual at all....

I feel more of an innocent child than ever before and also more of a real woman than ever now I just let go surrender and allow myself to be....

The bonding that we do is essential - being involved with you women feeds me nourishes me so much and I am so grateful for you all....

I found this article - interesting website thought you guys might enjoy it....

Allowing myself to just BE.

Yesterday was my first real day off in 5 weeks....(For those that didnt hear I decided to stay here for a few more days!) I have been non-stop literally and although Ive taken breaks it felt very different yesterday---like I had come to the end of a lot of work for this moment and could now just sit and decompress and reflect. I spent all day on a porch in the sun - then on the grass in the sun - then in bed with the door open in the sun---my body missed the light!!! Everytime Ive come to SLC Ive left the day after finishing up with Joy, and it is so nice just to be here, really be makes me appreciate this place in a new way...sort of come to an understanding of what it would be like to really just BE here. So here I am still in SLC no return ticket, just BEING. In a few days Ill be ready to go home --- or not? We'll see, Im just taking it easy....

Hope you guys have a great day and excited to see you all wednesday!

Moment by Moment

The last two weekends have found me in my garden catching up on long over due care for the "children" there. I had a big moment of being in resistance and thinking... all I do is work all the time. What? Here I am in my garden doing what I love and Blah Blah Blah. In the loop, complaining. Time for a new loop. I'm ready to pull my little red wagon some where else this rut is getting deep.

Finally I settled in to being in the moment. Not worrying about what else I needed to do or could do with my precious time. I let go of time and got into the rhythm of planting and caring for the flowers, seeing them and imagining the beds in their fullness.

Catherine Anne and I had a short time together for breakfast on Sat. We talked about stepping up our efforts to care for ourselves. It's not the first time we've talked about contracting with ourselves and each other. So this time how do we make it work we wondered.

I think the answer is Moment by Moment. Willing to be with the feelings of the moment. Willing to be present in the moment. Willing to be conscious. I go in and out of consciousness. I wonder what it would be like to make a decision to stay fully conscious and present for a whole day, or even half a day. Like looking through the lens of a camera, totally focused and still seeing new creation of art. Elevating each moment to it's perfection as an art form.

This week I am going to practice staying in the moment, fully present. Any one want to join me? The synergy of our group is quite powerful. I would love the support. The energy coming into the planet now is also quite powerful but then............ so are we.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Adrenal Fatigue test

Try this test:
In a dark room with a mirror-shine a flashlight across the side of your face so you can see your eyes-but don't shine it straight into your eyes.

If your pupil dilates and stays dilated, you are fine.

If your pupil dilates and then flutters, or enlarges a bit, you have adrenal fatigue!

You could need amino acids, DHEA for a while (not to take all the time), maybe digestive enzymes as poor digestion stresses the adrenals. AND de-stress your life!


Thinking of you all

The leaves, all joined at the branch, both separate and connected made me think of you as I watched the light filtered by the branches. Have a gentle Memorial day.

Home Sweet Home

Little nestor tucked in waiting for lunch to arrive! I'm thinking it was late, by the look on his face! (it's got to be a baby boy, don't you think?) My aunt sent this from England. I cropped it a bit and noticed the scowl on his face!

Kathy and Lauren

We need you to recall your journey from 2 weeks ago and tell us the message for the group so we can add it to the whole, please.

Scan down to the post and add it, or post it and I will add it.

The Fairy Garden

Even having lost the impatiens and the portulaca, it is sweet!
Happy Sunday to you all. And Jac-I love DivaSage! It suits you.
LOOK at that-11:33 this was posted. Cool numbers. And poor marigolds...they look a bit shot don't they. Cold doesn't agree with any of us I'm afraid.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Blood pressure

Anyone else noticing blood pressure changes?
I was washing dishes, cleaning up the kitchen, sun shining in the window-feeling, I thought, Good! I suddenly realized the veins in the backs of my hands were bulging and I felt a pulse in my lips. I decided to take my blood pressure and it was 144/126. I was like WOW! What the heck was going on? I could feel something inside, but like CA, I realized I had been ignoring it for awhile. My pulse was NOT racing.

I remember when I had a session on the QXCI and it said that I was in a state of high anxiety and stress, and it was the same feeling. Ah! So my blood pressure goes up, eh! It was a mild fluttering feeling in my chest-something I would have labeled fear in the old days.

I took a moment, centered, went to theta, and then clicked the button again. It was 121/86. Significantly lower in a minute or two but still high. I sat another moment, took a few deep breaths and went to that hollow bone place, clicked the button and it was 114/78.

What causes us to go up like that? What are we reacting to? It was so fast, I don't have any idea?
Jac, CA, anyone else notice blood stuff lately? I'm usually low, too low, but lately that's very different, and it could be just a symptom of my body changing, and a good thing.

The message of our journey was:


Pam's was:
You are limiting yourself

Jac's was:
Go deeper into your soul

CA's was:
Start your daily pracitice of meditation and connecting

Lauren's was:
Ancient wisdom - you are already there - Trust.

Kathy's was:
oops-Kathy wasn't there that week! That's right.

Bo's was:
Center in light

Mine was:
Stay clear and observe

Fire of Life

Still learning to post. Happy Memorial Day.


Have I arrived?


Class is once a week for 3 hours. We come together, open mesas and dialog. As a guide, I track where everyone is, and as a group the piece you are moving towards. I introduce the ways of working with the mesa, and working with the energy. I am limited by the group as I can only teach what everyone is ready for.

Some weeks you all pull in different directions. Ok. That's sometimes how it is. Some weeks no one wants to move. Ok that happens too. Some weeks you zoom! Isn't that how life is?

You have the rest of the week to walk in nature, commune outside, open your mesas, talk to birds, flowers, trees. You have the rest of the week to dream, walk your dreams, hike, sleep outside. Then bring it to the class. When I say "how was your week, what happened in your mesa, in your life" it is about that. I ask for that reason. Lately you've all looked blankly at me. Nothing is happening. Really?

You are supposed to be doing the work every day-and that's a suggestion. This is a skills group and shouldn't be your entire shamanic experience. I give you a taste, and then you walk the walk the rest of the week the way you incorporate it into your lives. We come together for a few hours, and then you take that back into your lives. Talk to a tree and tell us what happened.

Tell us what happened to YOU Jac-sorry-not necessarily what Ray did, or someone else. Don't live through their experiences. This is a walk that is your path. Walk it. Don't follow it. You are Dancing Feather. Go into nature with YOUR pipe and blow it, smoke it, taste the work and come to the group and share. You are all powerful beyond compare. Do the work in the world and come to the room and share with your I-YU. Take your drum outside, and beat it. Then tell us how the hawks flew over YOUR head.

I have offered to do a retreat weekend, I have offered to do a vision quest, I have offered to do the group in a different format, but the concensus was that you wanted a few hours once a week because it fit your lives, and no one at last count wanted to tie up a weekend. Ok. That's this group. Other groups want the learning in a different way and I will go with that.

This work IS about the connection to nature. Do it. I am limited at the building with no garden, and no way of getting us to the land unless we are willing to go somewhere else. Let's meet up Cottonwood canyon next week at the amptheatre. I'll give you the address. bring your mesa and something to sit on.

Do you want to spend a night out and do a vision quest? Are you ready?

Always Tracking What is Wrong

Ok Jac this is exactly what I am writing about. Last night was fun. All of it. There wasn't a thing wrong. We didn't get slapped.
SHit happens when you don't pay attention. But we worked together, we had each other, we laughed, we walked, it was a beautiful night. It was fun! Any "problem" split 6 ways is light isn't it?

$414. for one or two is more than $67 each isn't it? Of course. We've been taking things too seriously.

And I've said before-you are healed when you decide you are! It's about having the skills and self honesty though to know that when you get a twinge, work on it right then. Reframe DONE. It's like "when are we going to be done with this diet" as if we want to GO BACK to some other way of eating.

You are healed. Every moment of every day you are healed. You might have something come up-like your car getting towed, but that doesn't mean you are being punished for being bad. it means oops. Not 50 lashes and walking the plank.

We take life too seriously. AKIANE is this binary genius, in my opinion, primarily because she has NO FEAR in her system.
That's the goal. NO FEAR.

What if she parked in the wrong place. What do you suppose she would do?
Precisely what we did. LAUGH, pay the fine, get her car, and go on! Oops! Giggle. On with life!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Did you know...progesterone and estrogen

That it is progesterone that helps with myelinization-the myelin sheath that protects our brain neurons. So progesterone improves memory and cognitive abilities, and synaptic function. So if we feel fuzzy headed, that could be low progeseterone!

Progeseterone also relaxes muscles, acts as an antiinflammatory, and increases our core temperature. Have you noticed your core temperature going up or down? Mine has gone UP!
It helps with blood clotting, and with zinc and copper levels, and cell oxygenation, and it's supposed to help with metabolizing fat.It also helps with thyroid function, ligaments, skin and tendons.

Progesterone is protective. If women have too little, they can be prone to miscarry, as progesterone signals the holding of the lining. We felt GOOD when we were pregnant due to the rise in progesterone. I felt great when I was pregnant!

Here's something else-if you are using the cream, they say to NOT use it for 4-7 days once a month so the cells remain sensitive to it.

If your progesterone drops-you could get a headache! I stopped using the cream 5 days ago to take a break. I had a wicked headache for a day. Worse than coffee!

You could also get food cravings, irritability, edema, low libido, mood swings, anxiety, and fuzzy thinking...if low in progesterone.

And the hot flushes are due to the drop in both estrogen and progesterone...

ok anyone else confused???

DId you know...

that hot flashes can be because of adrenal fatigue? i didn't know that. And the hot flashes are DIFFERENT from hormonal hot flashes-haven't we been saying that?

Here are some symptoms of adrenal fatigue:
-trouble going to sleep, even if you are tired
-you wake up frequently, especially between 3-5am
-you have a hard time waking in the morning
-bright lights bother you
-If you feel emotional, your body gets very hot, but not like a hot flash.
-Your blood pressure is around 115/84
-You have a faster pounding heartrate sometimes
-you are more defensive, and feel like you aren't coping well

I have all of those except the bright lights and not coping-I think.

Here's a test, and I will bring a cuff to class tomorrow night if we want to play with this:
take your blood pressure while lying down (lay down for 5 min before taking)
take your blood pressure upon immediately standing

if the blood pressure is LOWER after standing, you may have adrenal fatigue!

Guess what the adrenals produce: progesterone!

The Shamans Trading Post

Ok girls, here is my new fledgling idea:

The Shamans Trading Post

"For all the shamanic things you need, and things you don't need." my son once had me write in crayon for his 4 yr old's store sign-less the word "shamanic" of course.

The idea is:

That we create a cyber trading post for new and used. Books, feathers, stones, incense, smudge, cloths, etc. A little history please with the items. As well as new things we shamans have created of course. Including ceremonial pieces. Jac, pass this on to Ray.

It's about the aged/experienced shamans passing on tools that have experience, putting them into the hands of the new shamans, and each other!

I have so many stones for instance that no longer are mine, but are wonderful stones ready to teach others! Gifting them-sure-that's one way. But when someone chooses it-and it chooses someone, there's magic there!

Yes, it isn't about the money-but money is our currency. So, money is part of it, but not all. We can designate a percentage to go to a charity, it can go into a pot to be used for scholarships, it can be go into our pocket, it can go into an account so that someone can then use it to buy something from someone else!

Like shaman money! Hey, we could design special shaman coin and they can purchase used items with it, and trade with it. Designating a whole new way of doing money...I like it!

If you want me to post your art, or items, let me know. I plan to add my jewelry, and if CA and Jac want their art here, awesome too!

Participants get paid using paypal, so you would want to open an account if you don't have one.

Monday, May 21, 2007

natural raw food choices that inhibit estrogen

White flour
White rice
Green beans
Fruits (except what's on the other list)

Oriole In The Yard

I just wanted you to meet the Orioles' in my yard...the one is the picture of the male and female...female won the battle of the orange...

No Apologies

So today I was working on this with Joy...I have been apologizing all of my life for what I have what I dont have, who I am who I am not....and I am so tired...If I set up my life as adversarial, there will always be an adversary...I dont want to live like this. Done. Dont need to make any explanations. I am living my truth.


As I look at the two new lists I just posted, I gotta say that I am craving all the estrogen rich food sources! I've been eating cherries, licorice, dairy, dates, eggs, papaya, potatoes, apples, carrots, yams, tomatoes, why am I low in estrogen? That doesn't even make sense.

I look at the lists of estrogen inhibiting foods and they totally aren't even appealing except the pineapple.

Anyone else feeling confused by all the propaganda out there? Is everyone just guessing? She suggested I not take the progestin cream as I am estrogen insufficient. Huh? So I am back to not sleeping, and I woke this mornng feeling bloated and irritable. Oh great! I don't like this at all. With no progesterone to oppose the estrogen, I feel it climbing which is causing the puffy feeling. And my joints hurt this morning. Ew!

Hopefully tomorrow the tests will be in. I'm finding this really irritating!

Natural Raw food sources for estrogen

Annise seed
Baker's Yeast
Black Licorice
Flax seeds and flax seed oil
Olives and olive oil
Red beans
Seasame Seed
Soybean sprouts, soybeans
Split peas
Sunflower seeds

Sunday, May 20, 2007


Friday morning as I was straightening the house I thought "I want a new plant for Jon's bathroom, maybe a nice phili or a fern?" Something easy that he can't kill off. I put it on my list to look for one.

Friday night we went to a "gallery stroll". It was...kinda a bust. Half the merchants were closed. But there was this nursery. He was closed, but we were all looking in the windows so he opened and invited us in. THAT'S GOOD BUSINESS! Paradise Palms. Stop in and see him.

It was full of the most amazing plants, healthy, happy, nice guy, and I saw exactly the plant I wanted! I thought "well I would get you, but I don't want to leave you in my car for 3 hours. You won't like that." and I made a promise to come back sometime when the store was open. I had the fleeting thought that it would be nice if he was still open when we were done.

We did the stroll, then the LIVING TRADITIONS convention by the library. Yum to the Sudanese booth. Had a beer. (and got tagged. You have to wear a wrist band that says you are allowed to carry the beer you have just bought) and when we walked back to the car--the store was OPEN! He said he hadn't known about the stroll, but it seemed silly to close when there were so many people around. GOOD BUSINESS!

A promise is a promise, I was thrilled to go in, buy the phili plant and place it exactly where I had clearly seen it that morning!
Start to finish-no effort on my part at all! It all lined up perfectly! We are our mesa.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Shifting things in the Mesa first

Lauren had an amazing bit of syncronicity today.
She had a bit of a dilemma. She identified it in her mesa, and the people, then shifted it, and the person called within about an hour and had changed plans, solving everything. Way cool.

Remember it's about doing the work in the mesa. The mesa is the place to recognize, and move things, it is about calling in our future in the way we want. It's about influencing those waves in our favor! The results were so immediate I had to tell you! Way to go Lauren!!!

Thursday, May 17, 2007


I had the thought "Hmmmm, I should call and make an appt with the doctor" and when I called she said "how about 1:30?" I was like "today???" Timing-in the flow Bo!

She said an odd thing-I'm LOW in estrogen. I am finding that hard to believe so I am getting another hormone blood test panel done. How can i be low if I am growing firbroids and polyps? Isn't that when we are estrogen dominant?

But! I am having a full battery of tests so I can report Tuesday what's going on.

May 22-Peace

Don Alejandro Oxlaj, Guatemala de la Asuncion

Don Alejandro is charged as the primary keeper of the teachings, visions and prophecies of the Mayan people. He is head of the National Mayan Council of Elders of Guatemala, Day Keeper of the Mayan Calendar, a 13th generation Quiche Mayan High Priest and a Grand Elder of the Continental Council of Elders and Spiritual Guides of the Americas. He is also an international lecturer on Mayan Culture.

Don Alejandro gives us this timely message: a call to action, a call to come together and be as one. Don Alejandro Hill be performing a Sacred Maya FIRE Ceremony in Guatemala, and be joining the thousands of others around the planet during the Break through Celebration.

“Brothers and Sisters of all colors, holding hands around the planet on May 22nd 2007, let us reflect on this, let us meditate in our own way, in our own language, according to our own culture or religion, because we have only one Sun to shine upon us equally, one air that we breath and gives us life, one water that we drink and becomes blood in our veins and all live on Mother Earth. She feeds us, she holds us. Brothers and Sisters of all colors, together united in meditation to make conscience to the men in power, governors, politicians, business people: no more war, no more contaminating bombs, no more death. Together we can make a difference.”

In the name of the Heart of the Heavens and the Heart of the Earth, greetings to you. In the name of the Maya National Council of Elders, Spiritual Guides of Guatemala, we address the following to you for your great magnetic connections at the global level:

The Spirit of the Maya Nation and the Spirit of Mother Earth make us look for ties of friendship with all peoples of the world. The Maya Prophecy tells us “ …We will meet for we are one like the fingers of the hand”. We all are children of the Earth, we are flowers of the garden of our Creator coming in different colors, in different shapes, in different sizes, with different aromas; speaking different languages, and each one worshiping and meditating in their own way to the same Creator who has different names according to their own culture.

We hope this communiqué reaches all institutions, in private sectors as well as governmental ones; landowners, scientists, and all people in general. Brothers and sisters, there has been over 500 years of extermination in the face of the earth, extermination of humans, extermination of our brother animals and ancient trees, every day at a faster speed. The elders from the National Council of Elders and Spiritual Guides of Guatemala are keepers of mystical and millenary knowledge. Like the birds, tirelessly in their flight, they live to see the prophecies fulfilled. We want to make all people and governments in the world conscientious, and have them analyze and reflect at the situation of the planet in the present time. Let us start by remembering that the Americas were a paradise 500 years ago. Virgin forests, cities of beautiful animals, cities to an innumerable variety of colorful birds, flying in freedom; they provided food for everyone. The waters were abundant and pure; and the people, they lived in their own traditions, guarding their cultures and conserving the beauty of Mother Earth. Our ancestors lived to be over 100 years old, free from contagion and illnesses. They were respectful and obedient to the laws of our Creator.

Let us talk now about our present times. We enjoy new advances in technology, inventions that make everyday life easier for us, we all use them, but the negative side is that we are finishing up our forests, and contributing to the contamination of the planet, the rivers are drying out, the waters are being contaminated. Our crops are affected by plagues as well as plagues killing our animals. We are threatened by contagious illnesses, incurable illnesses unknown in the past. Very harmful are the use of chemicals, the insecticides, transgenic seeds, etc. And most of all, these days, the nuclear testing: nuclear bombs and a great deal of war weapons, and the war in itself sterilizing or killing the planet Earth and affecting all living beings. Many people are homeless, children begging in the streets, others are involved in prostitution. Predators are on the rise. Dead people appearing daily in the streets, kidnappings, extortion, shootings in the schools, parents killing children, children killing children, parents raping their own kids. All this is a direct result of the contamination. There is no respect; no respect for life. The authorities sell themselves. The justice can be bought or sold.

Now lets speak about the future. We, the traditional Mayan elders, and all indigenous peoples in the world, meditate on the future. We don’t think only for today, the present, we think for tomorrow, for our children, grand children and future generations. We see a dark shadow approaching, a shadow that will cause a lot of harm. It is the great contamination. All this is due to man’s creation. We are digging our own graves. Wars are being transported to other countries; they reason in their speeches it is on behalf of freedom, but the result is more slavery. They speak that it will bring new development, but the result is more hunger for the underdeveloped countries. If we continue like this, the time will come when there are no more soldiers to form battalions. The Maya National Council of Elders of Guatemala ask all nations of the world – their governors and the governed ones – to put a stop to the contamination; and to the big and small enterprises, to find alternatives. We don’t want any more wars, no more death, no more nuclear testing, no more chemicals, because the warming up of the planet is unbearable to Mother Earth. If we don’t change, sooner or later, she will strike back with millions of lives lost.

Our Creator created us here over the face of the earth to worship him, to love and respect each other. We all are equal, we are flowers of the earth, in different sizes, of different colors, with different songs, with different smell, but all looking at our Creator, honoring him with different dances, different music, different ceremonies. We all plead to him,
we are his children, he is the creator of all that exist, all that we see and all which is beyond our senses. He has given us our life with an intelligence to do well. Brothers and Sisters of all colors, holding hands around the planet on May 22nd 2007, let us reflect on this, let us meditate in our own way, in our own language, according to our own culture or religion, because we have only one Sun to shine upon us equally, one air that we breath and gives us life, one water that we drink and becomes blood in our veins and all live on Mother Earth. She feeds us, she holds us. Brothers and Sisters of all colors, together united in meditation to make conscience to the men in power, governors, politicians, business people: no more war, no more contaminating bombs, no more death. Together we can make a difference.

May 22nd 2007 is 5 Ajpu, the Day of Grand Father Sun, he shines upon all of us equally, he doesn’t know discrimination, he doesn’t get lost on his path, he doesn’t get ahead or behind of himself. He gives us warmth, he gives us life. One Sun, one Air, one Water, One Mother Earth. May 22nd 2007 day of Grand Father Sun, Grand Mother Moon.

The Maya Prophecy says: “Arise, all arise, not one nor two groups be left behind, together we will see once again the place from where we have come from”

Alejandro Cirilo Perez Oxlaj/ Wandering Wolf
Grand Elder of the National Council of Elders Mayas,
Xincas and Garifunas of Guatemala

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Maca Journey

I'm in on the maca journey with you, Joy. I started today with 1 teaspoon in the a.m. and 1 in the p.m. I'll start being more cognizant of my temperature fluctuations and see if the maca starts balancing these rampant hormones. I'll try this for a couple of days, then I think I'll try some progesterone frequencies - sure couldn't hurt!

Does Band Together to Protect Fawns

Considering all we've been talking about -- women and betrayal -- thought it was funny when saw this article this morning....its long but worth it! Go DOES!!!!!!! Women protecting future women!

Does Band Together to Protect Fawns, Jennifer Viegas, Discovery News

May 11, 2007 —A small fawn, startled by an approaching coyote, calls out in distress. From valleys as far as 1,640 feet away, vigilant deer mothers — some not even from the fawn's own species — run to the rescue, standing guard and risking their own lives until the predator leaves.

New research on this fearless behavior shows that while all does run to the rescue of their own young, mule deer moms will go to great lengths to save their own young and that of at least one other deer species, the whitetail.

"Mule deer females confront coyotes, and defend fawns and even other adults throughout the year," wrote lead author Susan Lingle, a researcher in the Department of Psychology at the University of Lethbridge in Canada.

Lingle and her team observed deer interacting with predators on a large cattle ranch in southern Alberta. At first they noticed that female mule deer cooperated to form nurseries in which they raised their fawns. Juveniles may stray, however, or the females may have to leave the nursery for food, drink or other reasons. If a predator, usually a coyote, approaches, the mother mule deer jump into action.

The deer mothers' single-minded instinct to save juveniles appears to drive the behavior, at least in part. But aside from that, the researchers wondered if other factors also played a role.

The scientists played fawn distress calls to both mule and whitetail deer moms. While the latter only responded to calls made by their own offspring, the mule deer made no such distinctions.

The mule deer females usually identified their young by a combination of scent, sight and sound. Since scent only works at close distances, mothers at a distance from fawns sometimes have to rely on sight or sound alone — which could mean they don't always get it right.

But even an error could work in the animals' favor. The scientists think protecting all fawns, and not just their own, helps the deer maintain a strong, near delay-free fight or flight response.

Their findings have been accepted for publication in the journal Animal Behavior.

The researchers explained that "a female's ability to defend her own offspring hinges on an overriding motivation to respond aggressively as soon as she hears distress calls."

Since fawns only utter these calls "when capture is imminent," a delay of just a few seconds could have fatal consequences.

Another possible explanation could be that the deer simply benefit by banding together in groups regardless of species. More mothers on fawn-guard increases the chances that a coyote will leave all of the young alone.

"The care of young by mammal mothers is probably based on intense emotions," said Nigel Barber, author of the book "Kindness in a Cruel World."

While these feelings are usually directed toward kin, Barber added that there are many examples, aside from deer, of female animals who protect and care for the offspring of others. Birds, bees, and numerous other mammals — including humans — do it too.

A Miracle Happened Here!

Tony brought ME a cup of coffee in bed this morning. Truly-that is a first in the annals of our marriage-31 years-not even after childbirth!!! And he even made it the way I like it...I so thank you for this sweet thoughtful touching gesture, honey! It was so cute!

I have to log it!
It is another milestone!

And Jon last night made raw juice for himself and 4 friends that were over. He wants me to post the recipe for you because it was so good!

1/2 Lemon
1/2 Lime
1 Orange (correction-2 oranges)
3 Carrots
1 Apple

Can you believe it? He says to tell you "no ginger!" His name for it: Citris Supreme!

Ok -- IM on to something!!!!!

ok finally (after months of thinking im nuts and beating myself up) i checked back through the dates when i go 'offline' off raw and have mini-fits and then clear big issue....all around mid period cycle 12-19 of the month...hallelujah and holy crap finally a connection!!!!!!!

hormones and spinning out!!!!!!!!!! my hot flashes my freak outs my fogginess my diet...

this is HUGE!
i can work on this now.

i cant believe it took me this long to put it together....its been mirrored around me but didnt connect it to me......DUH DUH DUH....

joy havent we been working on this all week in class????? the hormone shifts effecting hypothalmus pituitary pineal (did i get that right?) so the 'fuzziness' fears the brain fog sleeping etc.....could it all be hormonal with me????

ok going to do a test next month and help the hormones to see if its different.....


Monday, May 14, 2007

Going offline....

Ive been pretty offline for the past week...somethings been up and i havent felt grounded or totally 'here'...eating eggs and cheese and potatoes in a burrito?? what the hell was going on!!!! its so frustrating at times and i just get angry at myself for having to make it so hard sometimes...its hard for me to deal with the fact that right before something major comes up i have some sort of break-down to break-through point...different each time but similar in it the resistance right before a big piece is about to leave? my bodies final attempt to keep it?

I feel like this happens once a month to me - hormones? maybe i need to eat large quantities of MACA! maybe i just need to acknowledge that it could be just hormone shifts and not 'terrible and depressing'...

I need to work on new teachings for this...anyone got any suggestions? anyone think it maybe just hormonal? or anything else?

i just feel kind of defeated and like a fool and tired again - i mean i did get some huge pieces up and out and touched a lot that i havent gotten to before...and there just must be an easier way....

Maca Cravings

I purchased a small bag of maca at Good Earth and I've been trying a teaspoon each morning. On Saturday I had a cup of coffee with the maca and my reaction was just like the Eveready bunny. By evening I was exhausted from cleaning house, doing laundry, and attending a 5-year-old's birthday party but I still kept going, making me believe that the maca doesn't give you energy so much as it changes the chemical makeup of your brain to make you think you have energy. The next day I again tried the maca and planted 5 flats of flowers, still bone weary. By early afternoon I really started craving carbohydrates, and I don't mean the carbs we get in green vegetables and fruit. I had bread, popcorn (buttered, of course), and even a small piece of lasagne. The question is, are the cravings related to taking maca? Or are the cravings the result of an increase in movement? Or is this typical of a 6-month anniversary of being on a raw food diet?


Terry and I had Artichokes for dinner the other night, and he asked what kind of nutritional value does the Artichoke have, and I have to say I have no clue, so I looked it up and this is what it had to say. More liver help...yiiippppeeee

The ancients considered artichokes to have many benefits. Artichokes, including leaves, were thought to be an aphrodisiac, a diuretic, a breath freshener and even a deodorant. Decoctions of artichoke leaves have been used as blood cleansers, cholerics, to improve bile production and secretion and to detox the liver and the skin.

The new, to this era, information about phytochemicals contained in vegetables and fruits is confirming some of these ancient claims. Research is now underway to determine the phytochemicals in artichokes, and work continues to define the role these phytochemicals play in maintaining good health and preventing disease.

Current research is showing benefits to the liver from cynarin, a compound found in the artichoke's leaves. Silymarin is another compound found in artichokes that has powerful anitoxidant properties and may help the liver regenerate healthy tissue.

Artichokes are nutrient dense, so, for the 25 calories in a medium artichoke, you're getting 16 essential nutrients!

Artichokes provide the important minerals magnesium, chromium, manganese, potassium, phosphorus, iron and calcium. For example, that 25 calorie artichoke provides 6% of the Recommended Daily Value of phosphorus, 10% of magnesium, 8% of manganese, 10% of chromium, 5% of potassium, 4% of iron and 2% of calcium and iron.

In addition to all these important minerals, artichokes are a good source of fiber (12% of the RDV), vitamin C (10% of the RDV), and folate (10% of the RDV).

Artichokes are low in calories and sodium, have no fat and no cholesterol.

All this means that artichokes, as a part of a low-fat, high-fiber diet, can help reduce the risk of certain types of heart disease, cancers and birth defects.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

butterfly metamorphs

I read a cool quote in Golden braid today-

Butterflies are flying flowers...or was it butterflies are flowers with wings? Oh you get the general idea!

Anyway-isn't this cool? I was walking and it looked like a cosmic download!

Girls at the Lake

A bit late, but here's the girls at the lake!

See this?

Ok those of you that can view-THIS is the AD-36 virus.
As soon as I wrote this-I got the worst hot flash! There definitely is an emotional connection to this piece for me.

Hot Pachamama

Remember this glowing gal from Bear Lake? The funny thing was, there was nothing shining on her. She just suddenly lit up! We all sat and watched it! Very cool!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Empathy and the Chameleon

My old thought pattern was that the 'chameleon' is BAD, that it meant i had no 'authentic self' and that I only knew myself in reflection, so ive been trying to kill it in me for a very very long time-what an illusion - im not fighting anyone else and im not even fighting myself??? the war on this issue is done...just needed to get better get clear and get boundaries...i am still me and can be empathetic and watch the world through anothers eyes....thats what the shamanic work is about isnt it? traveling into anothers reality and returning back home...i just know how to do what ive been doing forever safely now....reframing it and owning it has helped so much....owning that power owning ME. I dont have to be them become them take on their problems fears energy, i just see them...I love watching, feeling what others feel seeing what they see...its like going to a museum and looking at a painting or beautiful what gets captured in a moment a way of looking at something i had never imagined...journeying into someone elses reality - or even one of my alternate realities!

can i do it safely now and not lose myself?....yes. i know the way home right now ive laid a very clear new road (my own yellow brick road home)....a detour wont bring me down it just means it takes a little longer....and lucky me if i just so happen to get lost ive got all these shaman mamas to call on to light the way!

and just now i found this article (from my old college of 1 yr - Boston University)...a quick read of a perspective on the amygdala and women and empathy and the emotional brain....


i received an email back from an architecture professor i respect very much... i sent something to him a while back just throwing out some thoughts that had been rolling around and around...funny i should get it today when i am ready to hear what he has to say....i thought he was ignoring me after the wordy heady email i sent....anyway he so kindly responded to all of my points then said:

'It sounds like you are thinking very deeply on all this. Usually when I find myself thinking in such terms I reground the thinking in some 'thing' whether an external system- like a city, a building, a film- or in a discipline, like making a drawing or music or a design. This becomes a way to test the thinking. Critical intuition. test. intuition. test.'

so important to stay grounded when head starts going to install an automatic key for this....when mind starts going its only going to be allowed to go so far then like a pet on a lease im going to reel the sucker back in....powerful sucker that mind is and amazing if headed in right direction....

whos in control?
oh yes,



i just keep thinking about how important this is....just touch...not sex not anything complicated just touch. its that feeling of being with someone....its love but almost beyond love its connecting on a level thats cellular....that makes you feel.....somethingthat touches you so deeply inside....something beautiful.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Compassionate reform

What a cool idea! Compassionate reform...I love the term! it's coined by a group in Arkansas that is trying to get Marijuana legalized.

I'm not a pot smoker, never have been. But, the plant and its uses intrigues me. Especially since going raw. I have the belief that all our plants have use, and its up to us to find it. I didn't know that marijuana as a medicinal plant goes back 8000 years in China! Did you?

Queen Victoria sipped marijuana tea for menstral cramps. I didn't know that either! We have such an odd hangup on drugs in this country, and the belief that we know what's better for someone else.

Here is what medical research has found out:
Cannabis acts like an antioxidant that's better than C or E.
It is a great anti-inflammatory
It can help with Tourettes
It shorts out pain signals-and is less addictive than alot of those perscription painkillers

In Spain doctors injected inoperable brain tumorsTHC shrinks tumors with THC.

Marijuana seems to be effective in shrinking lung cancer tumors THC kills lung cancer tumors

Marijuana and prancreatic cancer THC halts pancreatic cancer growth

Very interesting what we villanize.

Nikos Kazantzakis

My dads favorite author....for very good reason...always journeying....some favorite quotes i feel like sharing today....

"By believing passionately in some-thing that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired."

'Everything in the world has a hidden meaning. . . . Men, animals, trees, stars, they are all hieroglyphics. When you see them you do not understand them. You think they are really men, animals, trees, stars. It is only years later that you understand.'

'You have your brush, you have your colors, you paint paradise, then in you go.'

'A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free.'

'As I watched the seagulls, I thought: "That's the road to take; find the absolute rhythm and follow it with absolute trust."

'Every perfect traveler always creates the country where he travels.'

'Teachers are those who use themselves as bridges, over which they invite their students to cross; then having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create bridges of their own.'

and one of my most favorites......

'For this was my greatest ambition: to leave nothing for death to take-nothing but a few bones.'

Tony Juiced For Himself

Wow am I surprised or what? I come home and there on the counter is
a) a dirty juicer
b) a tall glass of raw juice with ice in it!

T comes up and says "so, I made juice, wanna taste?" I can see the tops of the carrots and the empty pineapple container.
He put ALOT of pineapple in, probably 4-5 spears, 3 carrots, and an apple. I am counting the refuse on the counter.

And get this: a splash of RUM!

Wow was it good! I didn't even tell him what we made this weekend. He came up with that himself. I think if we lived in San Diego we could make a fortune opening a raw bar-that served mixed drinks! Alcoholic drinks with raw juice. What a hit! He's a happy camper tonight with his creation. And it's good for him too!

Finding Meaning

So when i move all of the pieces around and around and then clear them out i come back to this point....finding meaning. What is meaningful in my life? How to I find and create meaning? I know the feeling of being completely absolutely in the moment full of happiness full beauty and clarity of everything sustained free wild brave strong creative completely and utterly in love, in life....basically surrendering to it all....letting it all it just that i want it all the time? i mean is that possible? too much to ask?

Then i think about that quote 'life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away'...i love that...and i have had more of those moments then I give credit too...ive lived a very beautiful life. ive loved and been loved by so many people in so many ways. ive seen things and felt things and shared moments that have taken my breath away....these moments are what create meaning in my life whether small silent blissfull painful fleeting infnite finite lasting long explosive...this is what makes my heart beat.

Its the ability to feel all of these things that I needed. So have I been searching for feeling? Was I desensitized for so long that I stopped really feeling....? Had I crossed and tangled and woven all of these things up in a web i couldnt step out of? And now that it is untangled and I am stepping out of this web where do I go? I have been having dreams of spiders and woke up yesterday to a spider right outside my door, then this morning when I woke up it was right before my eyes on the curtain...Is spider telling me its time to weave a new story?

Where do I begin....?

Ive been hearing this song forever byNatasha Bedingfield - 'Unwritten'
and finally really got the words today.....
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

In 10 years

I was just cruising again on some science sites, and thought your attention might be caught by this statistic, as mine was:
between 1980 and 1990 Americans increased body fat by 33%. This is on a science site that was tracking AD36 and it's move across the US. Obesity specialists are "baffled" why America "suddenly" starting increasing in girth.

Did we just watch more tv? Nintendo? Popcorn? Convenience? Really??? That's what they told us. But what if it's a disease that's catching?

So, what's the emotional component? The trigger that says one person activates the disease, and another doesn't? That's a question for all disease isn't it? We can have a marker for a disease and never manifest it. AIDS vs HIV, cancers, all of it. Some people aren't available to it.

I wonder what was emotionally happening in people's lives.

I got married in 1979-and I had the bypass in 1990. I am right on the money for this time period.
Emotionally, I was opening up and retrieving those lost trauma years so I was way into emotion, and T and I were having alot of issues in our early marriage. I also gave birth to both boys during this time period which means the virus would have been vertically passed to them.

Anyone else?

Here's something else-University of Buffalo did studies because they were curious about the drop in cholesterol and triglycerides with the onset of obesity.
They discovered that chronic hyperinsulinemia preceded the obesity. Overproduction of insulin by the FAT CELLS, and a drop in insulin in the muscle cells and liver.

Did anyone begin to have sugar issues during this time? Sorry-by sugar issues I mean diabetes. Not sugar cravings.
Was anyone suddenly diagnosed with diabetes.

Sunday, May 6, 2007


If you haven't seen this yet-it's great!
but you have to wonder what this combination does to your stomach don't you? I mean-coke is so corrosive it will clean oil off your cement!

Have fun!

Friday, May 4, 2007

Shame and Clearing

You all realize that we are clearing shame together? Shame locks into IDENTITY."I AM shamed. I carry shame, I hide shame." Guilt is a behavior, a doing, but shame is a being. IT is an identity level energy.

Clearing the deepest, lowest frequency. Shame. Anger distracts us from feeling the shame sometimes, or anger because we were made to feel such shame, the connections could be any number of ways.

I've said over and over, everyone is connected. Look at Lauren's last entry!

Ok, so WE aren't sleeping. WE are all bringing up and clearing shame. Did we clear shame as an archetype? Can we? Should we? Doesn't WOMAN as an archetype carry shame? Isn' that what the churches on this planet want? Wasn't EVE shamed? That base level DNA? Realize alot of us didn't even want to be GIRLS! Seeing that we were caught in female bodies was shaming. Anyone hear "You SHOULD BE so ashamed of yourself" because I do. Clear it as a wernickes. And then anything else that comes up.

For me,
I am so tired. This week I've thought "Wow, where did my energy go? I have been feeling so good!" Every afternoon I want to come home and nap! I'm TIRED. And I hear myself saying "Is this my adrenals? Is this my thyroid again? Is this B vitamins? Is this my blood, am I anemic again? What did I trigger?" It's running in the background.

Tony said, "Why can't you just be tired?" I thought, wow! JUST tired? Without it meaning anything else? I'm JUST tired? Wow. And I can JUST rest? But I am busy inside saying "maybe more protein, maybe less fruit, maybe some soy, am I getting enough B?"

We are clearing excess estrogen that is in our bodies. We are estrogen dominant. Look at our shapes. Right? Ok. Well, as that estrogen clears out-and fiber clears it, raw clears it, it stresses the liver. The liver is trying to keep up with the clear out. From time to time though, when we release held emotions TOO, and emotions are toxins, it clears through the liver too. And maybe the releasing and moving was too much all at once? I know that I suddenly dropped inches, but not pounds this week. I started running the frequencies on myself for Adenovirus (hah AD36 look out), and candida, and I had a full body reaction to the frequencies, so why do we think that when we touch the emotional frequencies for these things, that we wouldn't react?

I get exactly what you are saying about "where did it go?" It isn't gone. It is still there. The question might be why do we need to hang onto this icky feeling? WHy are we fighting to hide it, keep it, store it, stuff it, have it? Because it shames us to even admit we have it!

Eating protein doesn't help. Sleeping more doesn't help. Touching it, clearing it, and freeing ourselves will. I'm right there with you.


Okay, here it is ruffly....I did not write it down and for the life of me I can't remember the greens...Machi or something like that, I know it sounded a lot like Maca.
Greens, Machi????
Avocado, diced
Mandarin Oranges, not sure if it was a 8 oz. can or not..
Drizzled over the top was Olive Oil and Rice Wine Vinegar...
I have to tell you I made a similar salad today but I didn't have those greens and it made a world of difference.
I will get more exact ingredients from Kathy and post the Salad again, but I just wanted to send some ideas out.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Guilt and Shame

Dreams tell it all, and my dreams lately have been very vivid intense and clear....they have been more like nightmares, more like the ones ive had since childhood ones I have had less of since beginning my work last year...

Last nights dream was one I have had frequently since childhood (although always more complicated and bizarre as I got older)...When I woke up heart racing headache ill feeling startled, I had a sense that this one was ready to be cleared...

It was my guilt and shame over what we (white folks) did to the natives of these land, and what we have done for centuries the shameless guiltless massacre of people in order to OWN land that 'we' felt was 'ours'. Ive had this dream so many times in so many ways I cant even begin...but this one was different in that as the native american spirits were coming back to this camp we were at, they were coming for payback, reparation in blood...everyone was dying around me being killed by these 'silent forces' only i could see them and kept telling the others that we must be respectful of this land and no one was listening until it began getting worse...children being drowned killed hysteria.....i kept searching for my mesa and sage and i found a friend and said i must go in and make peace this is enough, this cycle must end....

Even at this moment I feel so sick so ashamed and guilty, Ive been carrying this for a very long time...and this fear of karmic energy......(this is a lot of my energy fear joy - i realized - a debt to pay).

Has anyone ever seen the movie city of God with patrick Swayze? I love that movie, hes a doctor in India, anyway one of the main characters this Indian father says to his young daughter 'you were only loaned to me by god' - my dad used to say this to us all the time...I feel that way with these gifts we have this land this earth all of it...

I have this deep sadness for war that I havent allowed myself to even tap into for so many years because it hurts way too much...I cant stand the suffering. Really I just cant. I feel responisible through the lineage of this human race, and thats why I keep bumping out and refering to humans in the third person---not that im an alien just that I cant get with this negative vibe surrounding humans.....WE cause hurt too much.

Its funny this month as Ive gone in deeper I realize that it becomes less about my family and more about the original imprints - creation, Adam and Eve etc...these moments where 'we' had a choice and chose to cause suffering instead of peace and love --- this is all of my youngest of young (or I can say oldest of old) stuff as I am clearing deepest depths of me that I came in with that played out around me in my family in 'my' world....and I see the beauty and the love but its so hard to feel the other stuff....which is why I have such a hard time accepting Man Woman (and eventually going back) Human.

As I child I came in with this and thats why I shut it all down because I couldnt take feeling all of this...I need to clear the fear of Karmic debt first but also I think I need to also accept that at creation there was a split and a choice and after rewriting it so many times (as I have since childhood writing my own stories and changing others endings) maybe I can start to forgive and move on and not carry this....this is what my constant attempt at putting it all together is about....we are all one and when, how was that forgotten? how did we let all of this go so far? we must return home is what i have heard since childhood....

This is why i came in feeling like I needed to be forgiven....I never knew why just felt like I needed it desperately I felt such a huge burden of guilt and shame and I needed some sort of 'absolution'---i found my version of absolution last fall and it freed me, but now I need to make sure to slough this part was still clinging dear....

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Recipes from Sunday

Who wrote down the recipes that were done this Sunday? Can we get them posted? Jac, if you have the ingredients for the salad, would you post them for Kathy?