Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Thoughts on Belief-

"What do I believe and why?" Huge huge huge! Rebecca, first may I applaud you for the depth that you have been going. I congratulated you in class tonight on the beautiful realizations with spaghetti and mother's love. And now this...these aren't easy, but so valuable.

Can anyone ever know actual truth?

I think it's personal, and it's relative. It's relative based on your knowledge and perspective at the time. AND it changes. That's one thing I have definitely come to believe. TRUTH changes...and that's ok. Have you ever absolutely believed something with all your heart, and then later completely changed your mind?

What about Santa Claus? I absolutely had proof. I talked to him on the phone! I KNEW he was real. I stood up to my whole 3rd grade class-and came home proud of my convictions, as I stood there in the kitchen and told my mother that I had told them all they were wrong...only to have my mother look sheepish and say, "ahem...Joy..." and I was CRUSHED. It wasn't true afterall.
I was new to that school too, and I was shamed and ridiculed for the next 3 years for that screwup. I'm not stepping out there in front again and saying what I sir!

What is truth? And who's version? That's exactly what we have been exploring. And you know, Santa and God were tied up because my 9 yr old brain went associative. My father was in one of his "we must go to Church every Sunday" phases, and I would listen in endless Greek mass which lasts for hours and hours, and think "but Santa isn't true. How can I believe in this?" I wanted to. But I didn't trust it. I wanted proof. I was a big troublemaker in Sunday school because I asked too many questions! They threw me out of YOUNG LIFE for the same reason. LOL I kinda enjoyed my rep in those days. I was trouble with a T to organized church youth groups. I tried them all. Was thrown out of all of em. Baptist, GOYA, Episcopal...I wanted them to be able to answer my questions~I did! The questions? How did they really KNOW there was a God, and why did they believe it? And how could I feel it like they did? And what if it wasn't true, what then?

Now, those are VERY NLP questions for a nine year old, don't cha think? Threw them off.

So-we talk about the 6th plane being UNIVERSAL TRUTHS-magnetism, light, gravity, cause and effect...and someone oh so generously actually came up with the number 31. There are 31 UNIVERSAL TRUTHS that are absolutely unbreakable. To which of course, we know, that's only until we reach the next level of learning- and it's no longer true. At that point we find out either there are even more rules-OR, and this is my belief, we find out these rules CAN be broken afterall. Hah! Of course they can. Science is already proving that one.

Vianna used to consider the 5th plane IT when doing the work. There was nothing higher, and she taught it that way, and we were supposed to as her teachers, as well. I had trouble with it because my LOGICAL mind went "huh? There's nothing else?" Group collusion, the Emperor's clothes, whatever, her game her rules, and it changed (it's true until it's NOT true) when she discovered the 7th plane. At least she had the good grace to come down and say "oops" and "let's go to the REAL highest place now"...

to which my 17 year old son said with much patience ... "Mom, come on. The Universe is infinitely expanding. That CAN'T be it..." hmmmm Out of the mouths of babes.

And you know what my little 9 year old self inside that still wants Santa to be real, said? "I KNEW there wasn't a God place!! They LIED again!" and she refuses to open her eyes on the 7th plane saying "I was right!". How can I convince her? SHE has proof!

What do we accept simply because an authority figure said it, without examining it ourselves? Lot's of things. Our own health, our food, our water. Our connection to Source.
You say you worship at the alter of science. Well science is notorious for changing its mind.
It's true until it's not true. That's MY rule.

But you did your OWN science. You got validating evidence for yourself that proves TO YOU that it is YOUR TRUTH, to which I say BRAVO! THAT'S IT! It's about your own convincer strategy, your own pace.

With the footbaths, I felt a difference, and then I conducted my own experiment to see if it was just me or if others noticed it too. Did they only notice it because I was saying it? Or did they feel better? I don't know for sure, truly. Could be some of both. I accept that. I know that I feel better, and I still use it. Validating evidence FOR ME. Go find out for yourself. I also know that any time we change our mind, it's a healing.

The good feeling after eating...probably the hum of the intestinal tract.
The good feeling that zaps you as you watch a butterfly on a flower in the sunlight, or watch a child play with that God working? Each of us is different. That feeling that brings you to spontaneous tears as you see a rainbow-hmmmm enjoy it! Be with it! That moment on the beach when we closed our eyes, asked for an angel to appear RIGHT THERE, and then a few minutes later you and I saw it-and they didn' that God? I say yes. To me, yes. It is the energy of the Universe answering you and me.

For me, feeling at one with all that is around me, is NOT an all day every day thing even now. It IS moments, strung together. It is my having had enough validating confirmations that something beyond my understanding has happened. I used to be very uncomfortable with that. I wanted to know absolutely what it was I was trusting in. I was NOT just going to surrender to something others told me too. Not me. And I didn't. I scrutinized, I surveyed, I experimented, I tested, I strategized, I reformulated, I hypothesized and tested. Generally, I kept myself really really busy for a really long time.

Not many of you may decide to torture yourself as long as I did, but I come from sturdy peasant stock that perseveres to the bitter end. We finish. A Vamis never quits. The value is in how hard we work. And I throw anything easy away! Out with easy. I might have only been making it so tough so that I COULD keep it, you know? Reverse psychologizing myself...My brother just called tonight to have a chummy chat and reminded me of that as we recounted family "myths".

Ultimately, I was running from myself. Hah. Who would have ever thought! Alberto said to me one day early on in my training as he was doing a reading for me - he leaned back and crossed his legs and waved one hand in the air with this air of generosity as he said "Joy, you are a great healer"

to which I harumphed, interrupted and said "Oh no. No no no. Stop right there. I'm no great healer. I'm ok. And it isn't me. But no, I won't accept that." He looked startled. I think I was supposed to be flattered. I was shocked. I also felt shamed! You know? Don't you say that to me! I am NOT!

It took me a long long time to get out of my own way and quit tripping myself up though and let that energy of GOD work. Strong MINDS do that. It took my trusting that there actually is an energy. Go to the science Rebecca. I did. Science corroborates metaphysics now. I just wrote this on the healing in the light blog. Maybe you want to go there and check it out? It's a new idea I am playing with.

We are connected. We are one. It's that interconnection that unites us and that carries the vibration of our intention to offer healing energy to another - that's prayer. They can accept it, or they can turn it down. You know, Vianna started doing belief work because when she would offer healings to some people, they wouldn't accept it, and she asked "Why won't they take it?" and she heard "They don't believe they are worthy of the healing" and she asked how to help them with worthy and it all evolved.

I think Vianna is a clever woman. She stayed close to the truth she knew as a child-which was the LDS faith. And she embroidered with what she learned-from her hypnotist husband and from her cancer journey. At the base of it all was her faith in a God that from childhood she believed would listen to her. Now, why she didn't lose her faith when she contracted cancer is a good question but she didn't. Or when she had an abusive mother that hit her in the face so many times, breaking her facial bones over and over until she couldn't breathe, why that didn't cause her to turn away from God, but she doesn't seem to hold a grudge. She moved beyond.

We can overthink things. When we go logical, and rational-yellow, we are avoiding our feeling body. We are trying to get back on firm ground. And out mind self says it can help us. It is the haven. The feeling body is what we have run from our whole lives-for some of us. CA just posted 7 years! Wahoo! I know you are out there doing just that dance R of the back and forth.

I've said before, don't believe me-I could be lying! Find out for yourself.
It is in the testing.
For me, it's all about the questions.
Now, counting on the warm and fuzzy feeling as a testimony-thinking that it might be the ravioli I just ate that tastes absolutely divine...yeah I'm with you! It's not God. I'm pretty sure of that.
But when I am still, and quiet, and I am anchored in my receptive mode, and I "hear" an answer, I know that it is my answer. *or see, or feel.

It's about trusting ME, not about trusting GOD. And God-it's an acronym for "great omnipotent divinity". It's the nameless ONE, the ONE that is known by a thousand names. When I heard that I realized I was somewhere that I resonated to. And that was in shamanic work. The recognition that it is all and none. It is so much more than we can ever imagine, and trying to put an anthropormorphic face on a "God" was only an attempt by OUR limited minds to try and explain something beyond words, as we were unable YET to perceive of limitless energy that has sentient consciousness. That would mean that there is life unlike us-imagine that! There is life that is not humanoid. Whoa! I'm starting to sound like Star Trek. YES YES YES!

So-grasp the idea that is so blasphemous ... YOU ARE LOVE -- YOU ARE GOD.

You know, 20 years ago I was in Golden Braid (could it really be that long ago???) and I was drawn to a large white book entitled I AM CHRIST. I dithered for an hour. I picked it up. I put it down. I was riddled with shame. I couldn't bring myself to purchase it for fear that this stranger behind the checkout would think me so presumptuous. I couldn't leave it. How dare I! I could feel this overwhelming desire FOR it in direct competition with the shame. EVentually I bought it. I read it locked in the bathroom so Tony didn't know I had bought it. WHY was it coded so deeply in my neurology that even THINKING it was shameful? That's DNA imprinting. I KNEW I wasn't behaving reasonably.

I AM GOD, YOU ARE GOD, WE ARE GOD. and you are welcomed, encouraged, beloved. That energy recognizes you as soon as you begin to reach towards it because it is as if you are reaching towards yourself, and welcome to you! We have spent our lifetimes denying us ourselves. We have spent lifetimes running from our own greatness, glory, beauty, intelligence. Over and over day after day I am asked to help people connect to themselves. That's all it is. Accept yourself and you accept the energy of the Universe! Wow to that. Doesn't that give you chills?

It does me. I've told you all. I did NOT come to this easy. I did NOT come to this open and accepting. I did NOT come to this willingly. I was kicking and screaming. Rent and watch "THE THIRD MIRACLE". It's a movie about the priest who's job it is to bust supposed miracles FOR the Catholic church. And he's good. He smokes out the frauds. And when the movie opens they are ALL frauds. And at the same time he is in a deep crisis of faith. Beyond anything he wants to find a miracle so he can believe again. He wants it to be true, but like Thomas, he will only accept it if he can put his own fingers in the wounds of Christ. Then he will accept and follow.

Same as me-PROVE to me there is a God and THEN I will follow you. Hmmmm. You know what I heard? Don't follow. BE as you are for you are all. I thought GOD wanted me on my knees. I thought I had to surrender my will to the will of God. Oh wow. I am the will of God. God's will and thine are one. I was, as usual THINKING TOO MUCH.

Ah. That's the metaphor. That's the spiritual journey we are all on. I can't quote the Book of Mormon. I can tell you the mythology coded into the biblical stories though that I grew up with. I believe that whether or not Jesus, Mary, Salome, Joseph, and all the apostles really really lived or not, they live in our mythology which means they live in our DNA, and exist in the holographic universe as archetypes.

And here's what I was told pretty clearly by that light of God-ness... Wow. What time is it? 12:12. Hmmmm
Gateway of transition and transformation

The apostles are the journey. We move ourselves through all of them and we accept each of them as we accept those aspects within ourselves until we get to the wholeness and understanding that Jesus held. 12 around 1. 12 apostles equal 1 avatar. Not one of them achieving, but all of them. Together.

As we look at, examine, identify them within us, and forgive and incorporate we move on and up. Each of them are coded into different chakras, hold different color frequencies, belief templates, views of the world just like the 12 zodiac signs. Just like your mesa. You come to stand in the center in balance with all. Judas is the greatest gift. He holds the deepest of our judgements and the darkest of our shame and the energy wound of being misunderstood. Generation after generation has wailed "I am so misunderstood. No one understands me"...and all it takes is looking within, owning it, and forgiving SELF. Jesus did. Are we better than him that we would withhold what he gave? Sorry-don't mean to sound preachy there.

Tonight I suggested looking into the faces of those significant others around you, and writing down three things that you love about them, and three things that irritate the piss out of you! And to recognize it all as a projection from you. What do you need to heal and embrace in yourself that they are showing you, with all their love? Read the 9 faces of Christ. He comes to realize that his tormentors are his great teachers and they are doing it all to bring out the best in him. That when he changed his position-they did.

Ann Wigmore's Energy Soup

Apparently Anne began to advocate this soup instead of only raw juice as we need the roughage, and they serve it at the Health Centers. There are a few by the way. New Mexico, Puerto Rico, somewhere east coast...Personally, I'm not up on my sprouting YET. I'm thinking of my next investment being an automatic sprouter because I forget to rinse and wham...I have a mushy mess that definitely is fermented but not in a good way. I've thrown more not-sprouts away than I care to admit. Oh wait, I just did. :)

Here's the recipe:

5 cups of sprouts
1-2 cups of bean, mung, or lentil (rotate between these)
(note I'm not sure she means these in addition to, or just to make 2 cups one of these-up to you!)
1 avocado
1 apple
2 tbs seaweed (I would start with less, and work up to 2 tbs unless you know you like this taste-it's acquired)

Blend with her homemade rejuvelac, which is the fermented wheatberry I haven't tried this yet. Another acquired taste-some of the centers have dropped it)
You can use water or more fresh apple juice.

This is high in Vit E, B, C and way high in enzymes for your digestion, with friendly bacteria ( from the rejuvelac) for your colon.

I'm going to try this-in my handy dandy food processor. She also says to use apple juice for the base, so if you start by juicing your apples and then adding that to the mix until you get the texture you want. If you want it warm, remember to add hot water at the end. Meeee-I'm adding cayenne and probably some garlic, and it seems to me to need some onion. But that's totally up to you!

Potential Theme Song...


That reminds me. Was driving to grocery store, flashed on a song, starting composing one for of probably more to come. Sung to "Island in the Stream" by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers...

"Shamans in the Raw, that is who we are
(yada, yada yad, can't get this line)
Where did we go wrong,
Sail away with me, to another world,
Where we rely on each other, uh-huh,
From one Shaman to Another, uh-huh,"

Thats all for now...

Love, WyoGal

Kudos to Passion Project

Thanks Joy for this one...just now got to read it...working my way through Blogging 101...a much less frequent flogger now.

Wanted to thank you for this. Realized that it gave the words to my current project...ME! I am the art project being created right now. Have always placed my creativity externally...very passionate about what I create...just not myself. I do now.

So, in this current state, I am patient, NOT, persistent, YES, and engaged in an interior project that is growing steadily. My tools since CFIDS took me down 14 (?) years ago have grown immensely. And each day, despite the ever present demands of the world, my focus stays here. And each day, I count the blessings in my life.

That I have endured, and grown.
That I am blessed, and supported in my life with people who love and accept me. The others I bless and release.
That I have boundaries, NEVER present til the IA class, in place since the January IA class.

That my mesa has become my "miracle bundle".
That my honesty with self, has emerged clearer and more succinct than any other time in my life.
That my long-last humor, amidst the pain, I find that breathtaking, no matter what road it takes.

I've been so serious, somber, drab, and lifeless; I lost myself. I've recovered some of my "children", and I look daily for any others that pop up. I am growing younger, and I see a lifeline that expresses joy and optimism now...PASSION! Avanti!

For the door you opened, again, my friend Joy, and these marvelous women, I say...

BLESS YOU! I look forward to the future, but I live in the NOW. I listen with gratitude to everything in my body, in my heart and soul, and know I am graced.



Tuesday, February 27, 2007


So, here's another confusing marketing mess to unravel. And we've eased right into it. I HAVE NO IDEA what kind of water to drink! Isn't that like totally insane??? Water. The purest of elements, and necessary for life. Cleansing, healing, clearing water.

Rebecca, you have distilled.
I have an antequated Culligan's reverse osmosis that is putting MORE shit into the water than my regular tap water has! Ew.
I manifested a complete halt to the new one-that was good work Joy. They never showed up, and haven't returned my calls. They've been in business since 1956-as long as I have-and they've disappeared. WHAM. So, obviously, there is an even better solution for me than that one.
I have been bringing my drinking water in and I'm sticking to that for the moment.
Who else? What do you all do out there? And why?
What are your beliefs. I'm starting a list for the side. Add to it here, and I will make the list up.

I believe:
we need water to live
I believe I need to drink more water because of the altitude-and when I don't I get a headache
We are 70% water (or more)
Every cell operates off of water, with water
Water holds the energetic template of ANYTHING we program it with
Water can be cleared with our thoughts

They tell me:
8 glasses a day
as many ounces as you weigh
water cleanses us
water helps us digest our food
reverse osmosis is best
distilled is best
tap water is purified
glacier water is best because it has minerals
minerals are terrible for you
well water is good
well water is contaminated
cold water chills the internal organs and is bad
hot water is better for you
room temperature water is better for you
don't drink with meals
drink water before meals

anyone else?


We spend a thousand million seconds squandering ALL of our energy and lifeforce running in fear from "FEELING" that bad feeling AGAIN-the body believing it will happen again because the body has no sense of time-and the mind spending all it's energy anchored in the past and running from the future
and in the meantime we miss all this other wonderful LIFE in the NOW that we could be experiencing differently. We are so busy-avoiding life, that we forget we can live it.

This whole experiment has been to get you to focus, even if it was only briefly, on those other things you can feel. And you did, you did, you are, you are!

When you let yourself FEEL into it, even if it's with one toe, and your eyes squished tightly closed going "I know there's a monster in them there waters" ... which means doing it anway, we are so surprised when the water feels delightful and warm and giggly...and then you open your eyes and look, and think "Wow, there's this beautiful jungle full of flowers, not this dark scary place at all!" and then one by one your feelings come back on line to the now instead of to the past when it WAS scary and lonely and empty and cold.


Monday, February 26, 2007

Distilled Water...

Years ago, my friend's parents had a cheap Sears water distiller. They told me distilled water was the best, most healthy, water a person could drink. So... I bought one these units. I only had to use it once. The scale and urine smelling-looking yellow liquid left in the tank after distilling my own tap water convinced me that tap water is not for me. This is Murray tap water I'm talking about, which has a reputation for being pretty good water in this valley. As you all know by now, if you've been keeping up with the blog, I was boiling a lot of water to cook my beloved spaghetti. And scrubbing the little white dots off the bottom of the pot and the white ring from around the inside of the pot wasn't fun. But when I started boiling distilled water for my pasta, cool!, that became a thing of the past. Besides the disgusting crap in the bottom of the tank, this became another reason never to consume tap water. I've become a little bit of a water snob. I do drink tap water though, if it's offered to me at friend's houses because people get really offended if they think I think their water isn't good enough for me. Most of the time I tell them no thank you, I'm not thirsty.

Eventually distilling my own water became a royal pain in the ass. It took hours, it was loud and used a ton of electricity. The process took 5 or 6 hours and the resulting water was very hot and had to be cooled in the fridge before consuming it and it took lots of electricity and that tank was worse to clean than my spaghetti pot. I started buying my water at the grocery store and hauling it up the stairs to my condo. Carrying a 5 gallon water bottle up three flights isn't easy, but I did it anyway! To this day, I still buy my drinking water at the grocery store.

Glacier is name of the company that sells the reverse osmosis, ultra violet light, yada yada refillable water in the Albertson's and Smith's grocery stores. I don't know why I was looking for the Glacier water company online, but that Google search led me to a company of a similar name, but unrelated, that sells home water distiller units. If I had an extra thousand dollars laying around with nothing better to do, I'd buy one of these machines in a heart beat! The cool thing about these machines is they are the only water cooled distiller available on the market, which means they are quiet and take less electricity. All other distillers use air to cool the water, hence the noise and high electricity usage. Plus these machines are self cleaning (well, you do have to scale the machine once a year, twice if you have very bad tap water) but the woman I talked to in Lehi who has one of these machines, says that process isn't a big deal. They are small, they fit under most kitchen sinks, they are quiet and you have 10 gallons of distilled water per day, always available, and it can be hooked up to your refrigerator's water dispenser or ice maker or to a special spigot at the sink. You can have hot water on demand too, depending on your preferences. Its operation is automatic, the machine distills more water as water is used.

One question Joy asked was, but isn't distilled water bad for you? I come across this question too in my research. According to Dr. Andrew Weil, this is a myth perpetuated by the Internet, and companies selling water filters. Dr. Weil is fairly well known health and wellness expert, he's been on the Oprah show a bunch of times, written a bunch of books, he's a real M.D. and he makes a lot sense to me in what he preaches. He says, yes, distilling water does remove minerals but no one is certain the body can readily absorb minerals from water. He says, "We get our minerals from food, not water. By one manufacturer's estimate, you would have to drink 676 eight-ounce glasses of water to reach the RDA for calcium."

According to the Glacier people who want you to buy their Glacier machine, the answer is: "No, quite the opposite. If inorganic minerals (and other substances like chlorine, heavy metals, bacteria, etc.) are removed from tap water, by converting it into pure distilled water, the result is improved absorption of all nutrients, including minerals, and improved elimination of wastes at the cellular level. Well, that sounds like what we are trying to accomplish by going raw.

Here is the link to the FAQ at Glacier Water Treatment Systems:

At the bottom of the page are the links to Dr. Andrew Weil's newsletter PDF. You need an Adobe Acrobat Reader to view it.

Ask Dr. Weil - Is Distilled Water Dangerous?
He explains this answer so much better than I can paraphrase it, I highly recommend for you to click below.

This post isn't a reflection of all that I've read and learned about distilled water, but this is where I ended up, this is where I landed on the issue. I always welcome contrasting points of view, challenges to my opinions and so on. So if anyone has any other info on this subject, or deeper research or better more reliable resources, please do share.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Food Memories....yum.....

i feel you rebecca...

there was this famous kosher deli in manhattan called 2nd avenue deli - the most AMAZING corned beef, chopped liver, matzoh ball soup, hot dogs with potato salad....oh my god mmmm...i still salivate over its memory.....some of my most favorite memories occurred in and around this restaurant family dinners every cold every quickie father daughter meal took place there...just about the time i stopped eating meat they scandalously lost their lease after 40 years!!!...i couldnt believe it i thought i would die....all of the memories were dead just like my dad is what i thought...i was so angry...

but there were also other city restaurants like this italian place in little italy every birthday weekend etc we spent there...we knew the owners we were home there....they had the best baked gnocci in the entire world!!

and the hungarian pastry shop and and and ......there were these places we had that were ours just 'ours'...unfortunately, or fortunately a lot of those old spots closed in manhattan so i had to learn to get over it... or at least accept it...i mean i could go on forever about these hot onion rolls at Ratner's a restaurant where the waiters were all like 100...

before i left to come here my mother and i were talking about food...shes trying to get back on raw (shes been off for a while) we reviewed every bite we'd eaten every memory (there were hundreds and we could almost taste it all again ---we were salivating!) from our 'restaurants'...then she looked at me and said 'you know, ive been thinking it wasnt so much the food that kept us going back' we were both like DUH! of course it was the feeling that was so important....the feeling we had in these places the love that we felt the fights we had the was the food that brought us together but it wasnt the food that gave love or passion or anger or laughter..... it was just us....

one of my most most favorite memories: my high school graduation trip venice the 'most amazing restaurant ever' i remember that it was the 'best food' i had ever was one of the only dinners that we didnt have some major fight catastrophe argument in fact we laughed the entire night we all drank wine we talked we was one of those magic evenings one you want to hold onto forever...the food passed through eventually in that case....

unfortunately what we do is lock those amazing memories (or horrible ones as i have an equal amount of horrible embarrassing gorging disgusting food memories) into the food so we trick our bodies to think those bites that felt good or nourished us or helped us forget or ignore are the emotion about lost children i mean ive found A TON of lost feelings with food as theyve come up and out with the colonics and cleanses...its absolutely insane how that works! seriously some food that weve locked in with a memory is LITERALLY stuck in time in our intestinal tract.

so rebecca call that spaghetti girl back.....keep the girl and ditch the spaghetti!
i have a lot of food ive done this with..still more to go...mines sushi so so hard to let go of...its not about depriving long as im clear i feel ok about making a decision about whether or not to eat exactly what i want...if you are clear on spaghetti then eat it! but i think youll find once youve addressed it the spaghetti loses its magic hold....

i can make a 10 page list of things that had that magic hold on me that i swore i would never never give up....

The Sonoma Diet

Did you hear about this one? Guess what the top 10 power foods are?

Bell peppers
Olive oil
Whole grains

and they advocate a glass of red wine with meals, and they base it on...ready...the MEDITERRANEAN diet! Yep. If you watched the videos on FOOD AS MEDICINE, that's how he cured his cancer. Just noticing...

Early Morning Call.....

I love being woken up up early...Ive been up for a while now after this amazing dream and Ive just been working away...

I think Ive realized that I need to feel completely free...any amount of pressure begins to build on me and starts to cause stress and my body just shuts down....I dont mean I need to be alone floating without a cord, just that I have always worked best lived best loved best am most calm most happy healthy when I feel like this....I used to think I could only feel like this with certain people or in certain places...I knew it was me, but it didnt actually truly sink in until yesterday that literally it is ME. Its my attitude my feelings...of course there are people places and things that make me feel stressed and stifled or calm and free but for the most part its my reaction and my abiility to hold my center is a free woman that can be that way anwhere anytime....but she forgets that!!!

anyway this may have all been obvious to you guys and subconsciously it was for me but yesterday I consciously got it between the eyes......! Now I just have to remember it and hold it!!

off to do more work!

Friday, February 23, 2007


0. Avocados have too much fat
0. Coffee is bad for you
0. Coffee is good for you
0. Don't drink fruit juice because it is too high in sugar
0. Don't drink water with your meals
0. Don't eat after 6pm
0. Don't eat CARBS
0. Don't ever ever eat dessert
0. Don't mix fruit with anything
0. Don't snack
0. Don't waste
0. Drink water with your meals
0. Eat 6 times a day
0. Eat from all the food groups at every meal
0. Eat lots of snacks
0. Eliminate bread, sugar, flour, wheat
0. Finish everything on your plate
0. Fruit has too much sugar
0. Meat is good for you
0. Milk is good for you
0. Never order dessert
0. No snacking
0. Nuts have too much fat
0. Only eat 3 meals
0. Too many nuts is fattening
0. Watch the fruit-it's high in sugar
0. You have to eat 3 meals a day
0. You have to count calories
0. You have to count carbs
0. You have to have protein with every meal
0. You have to measure your portions
0. You have to weigh your portions
0. You have to write everything down
0. You MUST eat your vegetables
0. You must follow the food pyramid
0. You need animal protein to survive
0. Your body has something wrong with it
0. Your body is supposed to look like we tell you
Your perfect weight is what we tell you it is


These are click links that will do some good. And don't do this just once. Make it daily. Hah! Now you can check in to the blog, and you can click these sites to do good. Every time you click you are bringing that copper tray closer so we can do more good.

Clicking daily does good things.
To end world hunger click here. So far 319, 222 children have been fed through this site.

We had things like "save the rainforest" on our copper tray: so start magnetizing that today with these actions taken daily.
Click on The rainforest green button and save the land.

Here's the click for the healthcare for children button to click daily for free to make a difference. It's the ACTION today to bring that energy to us girls.

Click for the animal rescue button that is the purple fund food for animals click

Click for funding books for kids-the red button

Click to save the dolphins here.
Click to save baby seals
Click to save primates
Click for the humane society
Click to stop violence against women worldwide

And every click let yourself know you are doing good.


0. To be honest with ourselves
0. To befriend our bodies
0. To feel alive
0. To find the lie in what we have believed
0. To find what TRULY feeds us
0. To free the lost babies inside and bring them home
0. To have radiant skin
0. To hold ourselves gently, and each other
0. To ignite our passion and power
0. To listen to ourselves
0. To make a change
0. To own our feelings and our selves
0. To plunge into radical waters
0. To regain our balance
0. To relish our emotions
0. To renew our zest for life
0. To respect ourselves
0. To stand in the open with pride
To wake up

FARMER'S MARKETS in our areas

Here's a partial list of Farmer's Markets in our areas. For the full list CLICK FOR FARMER'S MARKET UTAH LIST So you can think about spring and summer shopping.

Bountiful Farmers Market
First East and First South above Main Street
Bountiful, UT
(801) 295-9879
Mary Carpenter
October –
Thursday, 4:00 p.m.-dusk

Heber City
Heber Valley Farmers Mkt. and Concert in the Park
Heber City
Heber City, UT
(801) 654-4555
Chuck & Helen Warren
June – September
Thursday, 4:00 p.m.-9:00 p.m.

Holladay Farmers Market
4677 S. Holladay Blvd.
Holladay, UT 84117
(801) 272-0691
Dennis Ickes
July – October
Saturday, 9:00 a.m.1:00 p.m.

Kamas Farmers Market
Kamas Rodeo Grounds, Summit Co.
Kamas, UT
(435) 783-4766
Sheila Richard
Saturday, 11:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m.

Murray Park Farmers Market
Murray City Park, 200 East 5200 South
Murray, UT 84121
(801) 233-3010
Reed Balls
August – October
Friday & Saturday, 9:00 a.m.- late afternoon

Ogden Farmers Market
Municipal Park, 25th Street at Grant
Ogden, UT
(801) 394-3913
Robin Macnofsky
July – October
Saturday, 8:00 a.m.-12:00 noon

Park City
Park City Farmers Market at the Canyons
4000 The Canyons Resort Dr. parking lot
Park City, UT 84060
(435) 336-6033
Volker Ritzinger
May – October
Wednesday, 2:00 p.m.-7:00 p.m.

Salt Lake City
Salt Lake City Farmers Market
379 South 300 West Pioneer Park
Salt Lake City, UT 84111
(801) 359-5118
Kimberly Angeli
June – October
Saturday, 8:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m.

Sandy Farmers Market
South Towne Center, 10450 S. State St.
Sandy, UT
(801) 233-3011
Reed Balls
August – October
Friday & Saturday, 8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m.

gentle with this heart of mine....

well i am here in salt lake....and getting healthy after that nasty cold...! wanted to thank you guys for posting ideas about that 'waiting' 'in between' thing...and rebecca thanks for the insight about the shadow of old me...i was looking at it as a test but it feels better to think of it like a passerby...

i have a mitral valve prolapse and i keep forgetting that...also that there is a whole 'syndrome' that goes along with it...i hate to attach to syndromes so i 'forgot' about the MVP sort of ignored it...but a lot of the symptoms are explainable and if i can just accept that this is whats going on i
can work on healing it and not go crazy each time one of these symptoms comes up...this cold gave me the opportunity to look at all of the symptoms was different than last years cold in that way...i could isolate and check out each thing happening sort of like individual musicians in an makes a lot of sense now that i remembered the MVP....i had 3 people practically slap me with very random MVP comments and i was looking at them like a deer in headlights....duh those were for me...have to focus more on whats coming in ---theres so much all the time its been hard to be discerning and know whats what when!! also have to remember to be gentle with myself...

anyway hope you guys are well and hope to see you all soon!


Rebecca I would love you to post the information you researched on water. I cancelled the new softener because it's soft enough. From a 24 to a 5 is good for now since we've never had soft water and if feels slimey to me! I am waiting for the reverse osmosis guy to show up now.

But more information please and since you have already done it-teach me! Teach us!

I wanted to mention too that I didn't have any grains yesterday and lo' I didn't wake at 4am and I didn't have any congestion this morning. None. More noticing is all...

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Well Lay Me Down and Flog Me With This Blog...

(Second successful I do believe..._

Lauren Dear,

Waiting...not my subject of choice right now, but evidently what I need to address. So, here goes...

I'm waiting... to move to SLC...can't til house transaction is completed with distasteful family member. What can I do? Bless them, forgive myself for the judgement, ho'o'ponapona, again... let go of needing to know when and how, again... laugh at myself for my impatience, and do my gratitude litany.

I'm waiting...for rotator cuff to it on Saturday doing something "stupid", now my right shoulder, elbow, and hand are in pain, and I have to WAIT, be patient,not use them (hah!), and for allow tincture of time. What can I do? Mesa work, daily visualization of shoulder healing to avoid surgery, let go of worrying about trip to Oregon in a few weeks, and Costa Rica, let go, let go, let go. Forgive self for not being more mindful of body, and protecting this precious vessel. Remember that I am re-birthing myself to the next stage of life, again...and the time, whatever it takes, is truly about nurturing me, gifting myself with what the IA class taught me...LISTENING AND HONORING THE BODY'S WISDOM. When did I quit listening? When it was too painful, when it became a habit, when I was conditioned to do otherwise, when I went to sleep. WAKE UP Linda!

I'm waiting...for spring to come to the plant pansies and dig in the soil, and...wait! We're moving back to the apartment here, and waiting to see Costa Rica, and for the house to sell here, and for us to find a place to move to in SLC. What can I do? Enjoy my aero garden, and take pleasure like my Roger, in the chives that are leaping out of their container, and the two kinds of basil, and parsley, and wondering where the heck that silly Cilantro. is. Honor the timing of this country, rejoice in the silliness of the bulb of garlic that is madly sprouting, knowing its saying "its spring SOMEWHERE in the world". I can honor my bodies timing, and know that this too will pass, and I'll be moving, again, at the right time, and that all is right in the Universe.

I'm join the raw revolution...not sure why, but I am. What can I do? I can look to that time, and know I'll be in it full bore, and follow in the steps of the group that has allowed me to be a part of this. I can be grateful for Joy, her wisdom, and her tenacity, and to Rebecca and Jacquie, and others for their candidness. I can be peaceful, knowing that my time is coming soon. I can gather tools, and inspiration, and do my mesa work, and wait...for my time.

I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and this is the rhythm of the Universe. Sometimes fast (usually, in my life), and sometimes creeping along with the pace of a snail. And that is life, my life, and I'm blessed. What can I do? I can search through my stacks of books new and old that have inspired me to observe Universal timing; The Silent Pulse: A Search for the Perfect Rhythm That Exists in Each of Us, by George Leonard and dig out the loaned book A Sideways Look At Time, by Jay Griffith, and know that it is the perfect time for me to read them, because I've stepped out of man-made time...push, push, push, now, now, now. I can laugh at the insanity we call progress, and step as mindfully into the wisdom of the body that says, NOW...get up and run, or lay down and nap, or feed me. I can laugh at myself, and my feeble attempts to force my time on my world.

And...lest you think I'm peaceful about all of this, I'M NOT!!! I remarked to my darlin' Roger one time, "I wish I had your patience". He said "honey, I'm not patient, I'm persistent!". And that sums it up. What can I do? I can remember that I'm persistent. And, when I have days that I wake up like Tuesday, and the wind has howled all night, and my bones and muscles are screaming, I count my blessings that I have the resources to nurture myself without having to go to work; what a huge blessing. I'm grateful. I'm grateful for a husband who doesn't condem or reproach me, who supports me. I'm grateful for the complimentary modalities I've studies for 30 years that keep me tools as drug free as possible, and know that "this too will pass". And I'm grateful for a community here that knows that despite my having gone periscope down for over a year, that like the crocus, I'll pop back one of these days, brighter, stronger, more sunny than ever.

In the meantime, I'm waiting...and I'm smiling, and sometimes I cry, but I always know I'm blessed. And I am very grateful for the honesty of those who say this is where I'm at, and its not fun, and it hurts, and I've slid backwards. Welcome to my world, and being human. And by the way, I'm waiting for someone to address the bomb that went off in this house, and all the boxes I have all over, sorting out things for our next move.

What can I do? Laugh, listen, learn, and be grateful. Slow learner at nearly 58. But I'm alive, and counting my blessings.

I think you're doing great Lauren. Ask yourself these questions now, learn them now. Be grateful for those who are willing to share; compost what doesn't fit for you. And LAUGH! I've been way too serious my whole life. Like my new puppy, TAZ, I need to wiggle my butt more, grin, and enjoy myself! See you soon,




Alkaline foods are primarily: fruits and vegetables which are great detoxifiers and antioxidants.

LEMON goes alkaline in your body.

ACIDIC foods slow and inhibit the detox process. Simple. Acid foods are meats, eggs, pasteurized dairy, then beans, cooked tomatoes, nuts and seeds and fruits.

Meats, eggs and wheat all contain arachidonic acid which causes inflammation if we get too much of it. And guess what. For most of us we have too much of it STORED in our bodies that it can't get rid of. It needs good consistent nutrition it can count on to have the ENERGY to dump the toxins.

This is an alchemical process we are establishing in our body. It’s not random. It’s going to immediately demonstrate to us a result for our effort-pro or con.

Choose your acids wisely. Your body is demonstrating EXACTLY the amount it can tolerate now. Seeds, nuts, fruits, maybe cooked tomato products and maybe beans or not. That’s about 10% of your current raw diet. No more. Look at the list for sulfur forms foods, phosphorus sources that are vegetarian. Acidic foods are high in sulfur (eggs), phosphorus and nitrogen.

Acid forming foods are inflammatory and mucus forming. they increase free radical damage and therefore cellular damage. If you are reacting to eggs then don’t eat eggs yet.

Most animal proteins are irritants to the mucosa and actually invoke an immune response. That immune response is what we are feeling immediately. Congestion in the lungs, the joints, the sinus’ the ear canals, the throat, the intestines, our whole body aching, that’s an ALLERGIC response.

Going raw for 30 got us clear. Then we selectively began to add things back in so that we knew exactly what was causing us an issue.

These toxins go into the lympathic system to get processed out but our lymphatic system can only MOVE it out if we MOVE. It doesn’t have the heart to pump it like the blood does. That’s why our lymphs back up and get congested and swollen when they work and we used to think we were getting a cold or the flu. We ARE really, if you think about it. A cold is a reaction from our body, and our body is trying to get rid of an invasion! It is trying to right itself again. Homeostasis. It has to do something. What we don’t eliminate we accumulate.

We are biologically programmed for a balance of alkaline/acid with the minimum of 60% fresh, 20% animal products, 10% fats. Now, we haven’t had that most of our lives so we are noticing our body starting to feel strong enough to get rid of stuff. It gets rid of it by beginning to release it into the bloodstream so we can process it out and into our kidneys and then OUT.


Okay, so sleeping last night was absolutely miserable for me. Too much protein, I think. Could that be the reason? Too much protein causes inflammation, right? I had eggs and Prosage links for dinner last night. I could hardly sit still in class. God! I hate inflammation! It makes me hurt everywhere. Uggh! Joy, or anyone, can you summarize what you know about inflammation? What causes it, how does one get rid of it? I mean, are there specific foods or vitamins that are super terrific at getting rid of it? Whatever it is, I want to consume a vat of it. I know that eating raw food works, but as a typical American I'm looking for immediate relief. Go body, go! Raw, raw, raw! (Instead of rah, rah, rah!) Hee.

Like Joy said, at least I know why I feel terrible. There is no wondering if I'm catching a cold or getting the flu. I know it's because I've been eating too much cooked food, and probably too much protein.

Please, Body, please don't abandon me before I get this figured out!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Questions for the group!

So my pattern is to create something stressful dramatic a diversion until 'it' comes...maybe this is the artist in school was miserable deadlines hell----to birth something was so incredibly sure many of you relate...its almost like suffering is the only way to validate the creation...and now that im feeling a little better today im having all of these ideas --- i knew i would but it wasnt ready yet it was my dumb self is saying oh thats what all this was it was holding pattern until baby ready to come out......I NEED TO LEARN BETTER SKILLS>

ive gotten better at holding center in the meantime- reading, resting, meditation, working....but there are days when nothing comes? i get bored!!! this tortured creator thing is garbage -- i dont buy it but i dont know another!

i was thinking about pregnancy and the importance of those 9 months before birthing a baby...and how important it is to take care of the woman....why am i not treating myself my 'work' the same way? i cant even imagine being pregnant for 9 months? i would go insane i think waiting and waiting...bored! i need to change this---birthing is birthing and the in between in sacred!!!

so new question is what new can i do in the meantime while im birthing something?
what do you guys do when you are 'waiting'? in between?
why do we not value those moments before birthing us our ideas the same as those '9 months' before birthing someone else?

Almost my 1 year anniversary....

So its been almost a year (march) since I made that choice to live - to be conscious to love myself take care of myself and live my magic my wildest dreams...and in true 'old' lauren form I guess ive decided to ring in the year anniversary with a nasty cold...the last severe one like this was in march last yr and that was when i said was the type of cold i got almost once a month a flu one that debilitated me kept and at times kept me in bed in tears aching and sore unable to breathe begging my parents not to take me to the hospital....last night was the first time i was clear for days and i kept seeing visions of all of the times i had been sick like 'this'---what was it that i was afraid of? there were times i thought i would die for sure...even as a little child i thought im going to sleep and im not going to wake up....i talked to my mom this morning reviewing several of these moments... remembering her fear and remembering me pretending not to be as sick as i was so she wouldnt worry or think it was her fault....last night i asked to see what i saw then what it was that scared me or worried me...and i watched myself float above the bed i was sick in so many times i saw the whole scene my very pink room (ug pink? did i really choose that! no wonder -like linda- i hate CUTE now!!) anyway i saw myself being taken by the hand of what seemed like an angel in these clouds to a playground with all of these i was getting ready to run and play i heard a voice say its not your time then something like you have a lot to do or you have a lot of life to live...ok so maybe last night i was feverish and going crazy but i do believe that this was a familiar scene...something i saw and felt each time i was really sick....

i think whether or not this was something that happened is a dumb question...i kept rattling it around last night what is it that im supposed to see is this when i began talking to dead people? seeing angels? was i going to die all those times? were those my near-deaths? or high fevers? new question is so what does this mean to me now?.... I HAVE A LOT OF LIFE TO LIVE. I think these past few weeks i forgot that....i kept buying new stones for my mesa trying to move things around asking why why why? but getting no answer....i felt something was really off...i felt it and i ignored it masked it danced around it but couldnt get to it....i ignored my body that was CLEARLY showing me what i needed...blueberries apple cider vinegar blue green algae, etc, etc....i IGNORED IT ALL!!! DUH!!!! i ask now why was i punishing myself???

i know what my dreams are these wild dreams ive had since childhood...ones ive dreamt for years ones ive started to realize now are real....! i dont know if i just thought hmm this is just a holding pattern until i get back to salt lake so lets just wait around and ignore whats coming in...what the hell was i waiting for? in these weeks ive done a lot of amazing things but ive also shut out my body intuition --- almost saying screw off until it was too late...? i watched my hair fall out break off my skin go completely rough and scaly the yeast come back and i just let it all go??

why did i not act when i heard these voices? why wasnt i listening? what was i afraid of? moving forward? i still dont know yet...the thing is i know better....ive done this for 27 years this game of ignoring? this year is different...this is my year of magical listening. so why did i stop a few weeks shy of my anniversary? i mean its been rocky this year but i havent let it go this far...i havent gotten sick like this? listening.....when i listen i know everything is possible again...i forgot that...ive taken better care of myself these past few days near death feeling than i have in the past few weeks? why did i wait to get this worn out to be kind to me?

what is this year pre-anniversary lesson...?

Monday, February 19, 2007


Recipe: Beet salsa
4 good size beets (about one bunch in the store)
1 red onion
olive oil
s, p, a splash of apple cider vinegar

Cut the green tops off, and save them for juicing.

Gently clean the beets. The skin is tender, so don’t be too rough with them. You can shred them raw in the food processor or you can cook them gently for about 20 min. Put a dash of vinegar in the water. You want them still firm but partially cooked.
Rinse them and let them cool off.
Then wearing rubber gloves, peel the skin off and put them in the food processor, along with the red onion and the rest of the ingredients. Let it set for about 20 min.

You can use this with any vegetables as a fresh raw salsa.
You can use it with lettuce for rollups
You can add cut up potatoes for a great potato salad.
I liked mine over baked squash. Wow was this pretty.

Guess what! “Cook beets lightly-heat destroys the anti-cancer nutrients in beets”. Add lemon juice or a swig of vinegar to the water. Oh and wear gloves because they stain, and you want to peel them AFTER you lightly cook.

You can grate them and eat raw, you can add them to soups. You can add them to vege juice, only a quarter of a beet will do ya.
You can marinate fresh steamed beet in lemon juice, olive oil and garlic with a dash of fresh oregano-perfect!

Nutritionally, beets have B vitamins, are an excellent source of folate, and a very good source of manganese and potassium. Also, C, iron, copper and phosphorus all get a “good” rating. But guess what, that “can” of beets-has corn fructose AND sugar added and nutritionally – it’s all 0%. Yep. 0% source of iron. Hmmmm. According to the can label-it has NO nutritional value.

Toss the cans-grab the fresh and some rubber gloves. Oh and if you are doing fresh-get the beets WITH the tops and juice those greens. Apparently they have even more nutritional value than the root. Enjoy!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Almond Milk

CA knows this because she's been making it for awhile for herself and the kids but some of you were asking how to make it.
I made it today and I really liked it, and I love the taste of the skinned almonds now. They are delicious. I realized that in the last 2 weeks one of the things that I seemed to stop doing was eating nuts! Not good. They are our protein source, and a good source for those phytoestrogens.

In 1999 there were 4 studies that all concluded that just a few almonds a day can lower your blood pressure. Almonds have monounsaturated fats, which are the good guys and are loaded in Vit E, and they are higher in calcium than any other nut out there, and they are a phytoestrogen which means our body loves them!

One oz of raw almonds has 66 mg of calcium, which is as much as ¼ c of milk. So almond milk is a great way to get that “dairy” in if you are missing it.

1 c almonds soaked overnight. Rinse and soak again in boiling water for 5 min or so, then drain and rinse in cold. The skins will slip off.
4 c water and let it sit for a bit, then blend in the food processor until smooth with no grainy texture.
Add a bit of raw honey or vanilla, or maple syrup, agave or even a few dates to sweeten if you wish.

Any nut can be made into a nut milk.
It will last up to 5 days in the fridge.


This company, BLESSINGS ALIVE, hails from BERKELEY-yeah!

Wow if you want a yummy raw treat, try this. It's expensive at $3.16 in Good Earth. At least I thought so until I saw it on line for $5.00 and about that in Wild Oats. Hmmmmm.

This is big treat - a 3" double raw chocolatey tasting cookie and looks like a huge oreo, with an almond nut filling. Oh wow. hmm hmm hmm hmmm hmmm. I nibbled at it for 3 days, and I loved it! :) All the ingredients are organic and raw. Soaked almonds, coconut, raw honey, carob, cashews, and vanilla. Big thumbs up!


Am I the only one that thinks this is outrageous? And wrong? ANd stupid?
This is a classic example of finding a solution based on your own limiting beliefs.

Marilyn was telling me this morning that they had a scary incident in their Colorado high school where her two kids go...they had a bomb threat last week
the administration-thinking quick, locked all the kids IN their classrooms for 4 hours while they brought in
bomb sniffing dogs to sniff EACH CHILD while the kids sat still and waited their turn. Hmmm

She was NOT ALLOWED to get her children from the school until they declared that the school was bomb free.

What is wrong with this picture? Can you guess?

Well-when there is a bomb threat do they usually LOCK the people IN the building? Or do they EVACUATE while they determine IF there is a bomb? Well they evacuate grownups because bite me if I am staying in the building while they figure it out! Get me outta there! But kids are all locked in??? Talk about some stress because they all knew.

When she told me I said it was f-ing nuts, why didn't they evacuate!

She said "well, they said they don't have a protocol for how to evacuate that many kids from the building safely."

"YES THEY DO!" I screamed a bit shrilly! I mean these kids are like my nephew and niece! "It's called a FIREDRILL and those kids have been trained since Kindergarden how to get safely out."

Or wait. Firedrill for fire, bomb drill...we don't have one. Let's lock 'em IN until we figure this out. Can't have all those wild and crazy teenagers running around loose!

Oh wait-we do have a bomb drill-we all went through it and it wasn't much better, remember? Sing it with me..."duck and and cover" assume the position. Like getting under our desks if an A bomb hit was going to do any good at all! EVen at 6 we all knew that was a bit of a stretch. The mighty desk?

I said "Write up a protocol called "In CASE OF BOMB THREAT" and take it to the Principal. Make it look very official on custom stationary-and offer it to them for their files. And make sure you have
#1-get children out. Use firedrill protocol" in big letters
#2-determine IF there is a bomb AFTER GETTING CHILDREN OUT

Sounds to me like the administration is more worried about looking like a fool than about the safety of the kids. Bad choice based on their own beliefs about teens.

I figure they assumed it was a prank and wanted to make it as uncomfortable as they could for the kid so he/they don't do it again. My guess is too they figured if a student brought in the bomb, and they were locked in, they would crack if there really was one. Oh wait. Unless he planned to die anyway. Don't they watch the movies?

Or what if it hadn't been planted by a student? Hmmmm? Small thinking is dangerous thinking to me. This is a classic example of actions being determined by the conclusion they have ALREADY made. Now to give them credit, there was NOT a bomb. Thank GOD. Thank you thank you GOD.


I hope you are all out on this beautiful beautiful day enjoying the sun and moving your fabulous bodies! Revel in the fact that you ARE alive-take a moment to breathe life in fully, deeply, totally, and thank God that you are here and now, in this very moment of space and time because there will never be another exactly the same, and we miss so many of them.

Take a moment to center and bring your attention totally ... in ... to ... you. and then out ... in ... to ... the ... world. Open as if you were spreading wings from your heart. Amazing!

We all go up and down in our personal journey, and one of the beauty's of learning to come together IS to allow others to support you as well as to support someone else. Joining is the power place. Thank you for all your participation and your enthusiasim in the past weeks. Without you, it wouldn't have been the same.


Ok, so here is another one of those “words” that people are throwing around in health circles-and what exactly does it mean, besides that they are good for us?

They are a class of phytochemicals-(and what does THAT mean?) Phyto always means “plant” so that’s a start. They are a type of phytoestrogen-so plant hormone that is similar to human estrogen. Got it. Hey, that’s good too!

So, what sort of plants have isoflavones? The legumes especially chick peas (garbanzo beans) and … tada … soybeans. Soybeans have the highest concentration of isoflavone compounds, and apparently, in particular, genistein and daidzein.

Genistein inhibits those cells that would do that fatty buildup in the arterial walls-which means anyone that has tendencies towards high cholesterol, heart disease, stroke, atherosclerosis - great stuff to get in the daily recipes.

More good news - because it is a phytoestrogen, it will satisfy those overabundant estrogen receptors we have accumulated (in our fat) due to poor eating for years. That means it will lower our overall estrogen counts; more good news because elevated estrogen results in, and encourages the growth of, fibroids in the uterus and breasts. UC did a study that showed that genistein actually killed cancer cells in a similar way to those cancer killing drugs! Wa-hoo. What type of cancer? It happened to be prostate cancer.

Isoflavones promote strong bones, according to the U of Hong Kong, and U of Illinois, and the N.A.M.S. (north American menopause society) goes so far as to say it could well be a natural alternative to estrogen replacement therapy if you are getting symptoms.

The best way to get the soy? Naturally, naturally. EDAMAME. Those soy beans in the pods have the highest isoflavones, and tempeh. The bottom of the list is soy milk, and tofu, just for the record. Try adding a serving a day and see how you FEEL!

Here’s news from another study which said just switching to a “healthier” diet, not even to raw, just adding fruits and vegetables to the diet, and reducing fats and sugar, according to their study, showed a drop of 36% in blood estrogen levels within 8 to 10 weeks! Why? Those phytoestrogens in the plants products are binding to the cell receptors, and at the same time, satisfying the body.

Other food sources for phytoestrogens … NUTS! If you start to feel crabby, bitchy, pissy, irritable…oh you know, that general PMS feeling-your estrogen is DROPPING. Did you stop eating your NUTS? (hahaha, sorry) Eat those nuts and oils. Flaxseed oil in particular, add flaxseed meal to the smoothies and juices for a nutty texture, and our greens, and try adding Edamame. Costco has big bags of it, and kids love to eat the beans out of the pod. They are a bit addicting too.

Friday, February 16, 2007


I notice when I keep getting drawn to purchase the same food over and over, without knowing exactly why. And this time-it’s been oatmeal. I have rolled oats, steel cuts oats, oat groats, organic oats, oat grain, oat flour, oat bran and instant organic oatmeal. Oh, and Irish oatmeal. Hmmmm. I wondered what was going on as I noticed all these oat products in my cupboard! What was I trying to tell myself?

My mother is English, so oatmeal was a pretty common breakfast at our house when I was growing up, and I like it. Was that all there was to it? This morning, I decided to have some organic rolled oats oatmeal. As I was eating it, which was extremely easy-just add hot water, stir, and I added some blueberries, strawberries and a dash of honey-yum-I wondered about it.

What exactly does ROLLED mean? I was curious about the process, and what sort of nutritional value I could find in oats. Is “rolled” ok for raw foodists? Or is steel cut better? What do they do to the grain? I realized that even though oats are a pretty common part of our dietary language (we grew up with Quaker afterall) I didn’t have a clue about how it was made.

First some OAT facts. Oats have a ph of 6-6.5 which is as high as almonds, and are also a source of protein like quinoa. That’s good news for us! They are an adaptogen grain, and claim to be the only one that is. What does that mean? Adaptogenic foods will do whatever the body needs, modifying itself to the body’s requirements. They improve the body’s resistance to STRESS, which is always a good thing. They stabilize blood sugars, help the thyroid, and reduces cholesterol, as well as soothing the digestive tract.

Well, we mothers know that one-if the baby had an upset stomach, we used to give them oatmeal and crushed bananas-remember that one? Oatmeal will loosen constipated bowels, or help with diarrhea. That’s an adaptogen. It does it all.

They are rich in silicon which is good for our bones, and you can use oatmeal to soothe the skin-AVEENO is just ground oatmeal that you sprinkle in the bathwater. It smells like you are lying in a bowl of oatmeal. I used it when both the boys had chicken pox. It works great! You can also use oatmeal as a facial scrub. If you haven’t tried this, do! Rub it on your skin as an exfoliant, or make a paste with a bit of honey and spread it on, warm, as a facial. Wash off in 20 min. Your skin will feel awesome, even though you will feel like an oatmeal cookie. By the way-the old Latin name for Oat was “Avena”. Think they knew that when they picked a product name-probably! But I digress…

To really get the nutritional value from oats, the grain needs to be steamed to get the two outer inedible hulls off which then leaves the whole groat. Then we have choices galore.

STEEL CUT OATS-or scotch/Irish oats-are natural, and unrefined. Steel cut means exactly that. They are cross cut with steel blades, and a small bit of heat. Get the fine cut-it “cooks” faster when you add some hot water, cover and let it sit. Then just stir in fruit and eat! This is what Pam mentioned earlier, and I agree, it’s not bad at all. Gritty. So if you want texture and miss grains, this might be a good breakfast alternative.

WHOLE OATS are probably the best because they retain the bran and the germ and they can be SPROUTED! Yeah! If you sprout oats, they are a great source of B vitamins and minerals. So far I haven’t been good with sprouting myself-I forget to rinse and then have to throw out muck…still experimenting with that. But I am loving purchased sprouts and add them to everything I can think of. ew-except oatmeal. Not a good combination I am thinking...

OAT GROATS are hulled and roasted but seem to still have the full nutritional value. You can add them to fruit smoothies. I’ve tried them, as well as hemp seed, and flaxseed meal. In the smoothie-they all taste about the same to me. Anyone else?

OAT BRAN-hey if you need MORE fiber that’s what this is for, but with all the fresh we are eating this is hardly a problem.

OAT FLOUR-use it the same as you would use wheat flour, but it doesn’t have as much gluten. I wonder about using oat flour in dehydrating recipes to make that pizza crust or crackers? I’m going to experiment with it and I will let you know how that goes. So far, I haven’t been thrilled with my dehydrating experiments.

The scoop on ROLLED-the process is done with steam and high heat. Nutritional value is again sacrificed for speed of cooking later. It’s probably not our best choice.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

From Bo

This is an email from Bo, who asked me to post it for her:

I was reflecting on the state of the system. The one I belong to and have struggled with over the last several years. The practice of medicine has become just that the practice of prescribing medications rather than the art of healing.

With increasing technology and "advanced" research, we have traveled further and further away from connecting to our source and intuitively knowing what it is we need to heal ourselves. Healers where left in the dust and in that dust the remains of our greatest gift, consciousness awareness of our true essence.

The music turned up louder and louder and the dance so frantic no one was allowed to sit down and collect themselves from the many fragmented pieces scattered across time.

Our patients have no real support in healing. They are given in the best-case scenario, education and instruction on taking care of their body's but there is no support in place to help them make the change. Patients become disheartened in their failed attempts and providers disenchanted as they are met with : Yes OK well I already tried that and failed. Isn’t' there just a pill I can take to make this better and please I would like to feel better right away.

As I walked up my stairs feeling the weight and the utter seeming futility of what it is I want to do I saw a vision of the universe. Maybe not this one, maybe another galaxy but it was awesome, vast, and infinite. I realized, each one of my patients is as vast and as complex as this solar system.

We have poisoned generation after generation not with pharmaceuticals but the lie that the only way to address illness is to listen only to what another person tells us is best for our bodies. The greatest sadness, we are so far removed and checked out that in truth we have to have someone tell us because we are no longer connected. For many, we are not even in our bodies. By the time we realize we are out of balance, we are already ill. The signs may have been there for years before we recognize the dysfunction as abnormal. We name it stress or aging or genetic predisposition. When in reality we have moved away from centerline and now are reeling from the vertigo of our imbalance.

What you all are doing takes great discipline. You are carving out an ancient tradition in a new pattern of being. Dancing on the cutting edge of our new consciousness the ballet you create is beautiful and yet to be fully defined. It is not just your willingness to address this issue physically that I applaud. It is your support of one another as you travel through the maze of your own personal universe. Well Done, or I should say " well in doing" as you continue on your way.


The interesting thing about getting off your meds though, is that ultimately you are NOT saving the insurance companies. You are ultimately COSTING the economy. At least, that's the way the economist's have it figured. Remember, they are pacing us IN to ill health, not out of it. I sound a bit negative here but we are not talking about individual doctors but about the overall "system". In many cases those docs are only prescribing what they have been told is going to help. I think they sincerely WANT to help people.

Jac, figure out how much money you will be saving a month when you are off your meds! Then multiply that out for a year, and start thinking about what you are going to do with that money instead! Ya hoo!

Then figure out Terry's, and ask him what he could do with it instead! :) And then figure that amount per month, times the number of YEARS he plans to live. The numbers get staggering. And that's without adding any new meds to the mix.

Tony takes HBP meds-he's about like Terry. I tried to get T to see how much he is spending on CIGS a day, a week, a month. Ew. Was that making him mad! I was like "what could you be doing with that money instead?"


A bit late, but hope you enjoy this. It's really nostalgia time, but he was pretty good you know!



What a over worked abused organ it is. I will be glad when its clear.
I am drinking huge amounts of water. I am having a avacado at least once a day and UDOS, once to twice a day. I got the UDOS with DHA, is that good? I am really a slacker when it comes to the juicing of the veggies. I am probably not eating as much as I should be either. I need to get to the store tomorrow, I am running out of everything. I have to go to Costco tomorrow so I will get supplied up again. Just laying low again today, it must be one hell of a hair ball my liver has to get rid
I have to tell you when I came home and told Terry about the Meds, he was beaming and then in the same breath he said, no you can't make me do it...I am not going Raw. I laughed and said well ya know the money you'll have to spend for your meds. That was one of his concerns with retirement was how to pay for medication. My gosh I will have to sit down and see if the insurance company will give us a kick back for reducing the amount it has to spend on me for Maybe we need to contact our congressman and say we have a solution to the rising medical


Usually they look at the AST and ALT readings.
High ALT enzymes are what they usually are watching for because ALT is made in the liver, and it's what they read to indicate liver inflammation, which is another word for the various Hepetitises. Have you been vaccinated for Hep C?

Higher AST is usually from alcohol or drug abuse, so we can rule those out for you both.
Higher GGT levels can indicate a gallbladder issue-like gallstones. And Jac, you don't have a gallbladder.

But you both HAVE been on meds and recently cut back or gone off. Specifically, cholesterol meds Jac.
And HRT can do it too.
Heck, almost ANY med can reflect a change in liver readings, and even time of day can cause a variance, or stress, and certainly being sick. But specifically, cholesterol lowering meds, and HRT.
Viruses can cause elevations, like EPV or MONO, and chronic fatigue.
Being heavier, as well as heart stress can also be causes.

But here's the kicker:
to pamper your liver and assist your numbers in coming down...
RAW FOOD with every meal
ENZYMES with every meal
and at least 30-40% raw diet. :) And we are ALL way above that.
Super greens, acidophillis, sprouts, raw fresh juicing
dark green leafy vegetables
cold pressed oils
eating COLOR- avocados among them
I could go on but it's all the stuff you already know and ARE EATING!

To me, this is probably exactly what you both are getting on yourselves: your liver is processing lots of stuff.
and make sure you are taking your omega 3 and 6 oils. Good oils help the liver.

Now to the energetic component-anger and apathy. BOTH are the emotional toxins stored in the liver. That old old resentful powerless anger, impotent rage that had to be stuffed. That's the stuff!

Track those emotions anytime they come up, or go in and find them, find the imprint moment they are attached to. Then release and retrain, teaching and grow up!

NOTICING something else

Here's a very strange thing to notice I suppose-but the volume of garbage in our garbage can has gone way down! We used to always pack our can, and the top would be crammed on and bulging up, but since going raw we don't even fill the can half way~ It occurred to me this morning it's primarily because I'm just not buying all the packaged foods we used to.

THIS IS ALSO GOOD FOR RECYCLING because I've always said rather than recycling what we use up and throw out, we should USE LESS. Fresh, for the most part, doesn't come in all the fancy boxes that have to be thrown out and then recycled so we can throw them out again.

This fits the bill for me! Simple solutions.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007


WELL all I gotta say is I am so damn tickled about all the medical tests and confirmations that everyone has been having! It's so awesome to get the real confirmation that we are on the right road. It doesn't even have to be my tests! I'm thrilled as if they were!

For the record, I am sending my hormone panel in tomorrow and I will post as soon as I get those results.

You've all been amazing at this experiment, and we couldn't have done it without each other. Just think, in only a few short weeks you have kicked meds of all sorts! Rebecca, antacids and all your numbers coming back to normal, and other stuff too. Jac, your high blood pressure meds! Me, thyroid and those awful water pills.

Next thing Jac, ask him about your blood sugars and let's see if that's all back. As to the liver panel, your liver is really working hard now to detox your body, after years of eating another way. I'll post a few things that are really good liver support, and natural.



NYC trouble in rawville

Joy im on the same page as you...ive been craving fish the past few days and eating some...however it is making me feel terrible....HORRIBLE!!!! Ive been clogged up and things are not flowing. I changed a lot of stones in my organ mesa so things are all over the place....what i realized is that i am eating a lot and bad things (all vegan minus the fish-but cooked) in efforts to push things through...i checked and got if you keep eating itll eventually push it all out...strange belief eating more will make me feel better? no. infact my stomach and intestines are aching and hurting and i keep putting more food in...what i need to do is fast or take it slow for a few days...

when i fasted i felt fantastic. my intestines body felt so relaxed...i released toxins and i was going to the bathroom regularly for the first time in a while. i need to give my body a break and i know this however somthing in me is going KEEP FILLING YOURSELF TO EMPTY....does NOT make sense. also Ive been eating a lot of sugary things (again all vegan/fruits/or raw) and the yeast is back, the mucuous in back im stuffy.

so i ask whats going on? im not listening and im tying to head medicate, when my body really knows how to heal right now...more food isnt the answer --- less food is!!!! im going to try and fast thursday into friday and give my body a solid foods just juice and teas...

the only thing thats saving me is body taking me down to get a juice every day...thank god for greens!!!! i get greens lemon ginger and ive been adding fennel---i got that i needed fennel and its been a blessing with this stomach aching...also i got that i need vitamin e and blue green algae so i bought skin has turned back to old pattern of snakey dry gross...i could kick myself for not listening...i do know better. the good news is i kow how to get back!!!!!

cant wait to fast...
hope you guys are all well
its snowing like crazy here!!!! (the cold weather could also be triggering some of this---keep filling stay warm fill yourself so you dont die like the pioneers!!! -- crazy the shit that comes up!)

be there soon if i can dig out of the snow here!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Trouble in Rawville

I'm having more trouble this week than I have had yet! Since having that bleeding episode, I find the gremlins saying "see, you're low need to eat..." and T keeps cooking meat, and salmon. I had eggs over the weekend, lightly soft boiled because I can't seem to abide slurping them down raw yet, and ever since, man, the protein gremlins are all over me!

I don't want sweets, I want meat. Not red meat. I want fish. Salmon, scallops, tuna. I had a small piece Sat night, and ever since, I want more. Now, normally I would be saying "eat it, this isnt' about perfection" but the thing is, after I ate it, I did NOT feel better! I wanted to nap. It sat like a lump in my stomach.

I miss my glow, and I'm feeling a bit sluggish today. I can tell that I'm ready for bed! I have my raw juice in the morning, feel great, and if I eat anything other than completely raw (tonight I made simmer soup again), it makes me sleepy! On the other hand, the day went well, I got alot done, and I stayed raw until tonight's simmered soup.

I went and had a QXCI session today, and wanted to see if it picked up hormone issues, and it said I'm fine. My aura was a completely different color though! Dark purple and dark green, and lavender right next to my skin...a ...violet! :) She kept saying I was working some bug out and did a DNA diagnostic repair.


Ok, so lately I seem to have been preoccupied with nutrition, and less about the art of this experiment, and I know exactly why! It's because I keep getting asked questions!

I made up a list to the side of the awesome nutrition you are getting by allowing your body to sort naturally. That's my intent. NOT to inundate you with things you HAVE TO eat.

Look-really, look! You are already eating ALL these things, which means, YOU ARE getting all your nutrition despite what the doomsayers are saying. If you eat enough. That's one of the reasons the juicing is so cool!

But let me post a picture of my dinner last night-it was beautiful!

Monday, February 12, 2007


Since we've been exploring dairy options and eggs, this is a bit more on DRAKE FAMILY FARMS in West Jordan.

Happy hens, happy eggs. Happy eggs, happy us!

Drake family farms has goat milk, goat cheese, free range chickens that are happy happy.

Here's an article they posted on goat's milk...and here's a picture of their prize goat...I guess this is good for a milk goat. Romedy, got any comments on the goats? They look healthy! :)

And Pam-wouldn't your granddaughter love those Snubian kids? My my.


Saturday, February 10, 2007

AKIANE child artist

This is really beautifully done. Akiane is a 12 year old artist. And what an artist! The details and beauty of her may have seen her before on other things, but be inspired! She started getting "visions of heaven" at 4, and painting at 6, with brushes made from her own hair.


Be inspired!


Ok, they get a bit combative with this, but the idea is: someone else is telling you what is illegal, what you can have, and what you can't. I watched this awhile ago. What's interesting is the big guy says towards the end that he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, and he doesn't do drugs himself. But. He still believes it's a matter of choice.

I'm not a big proponent on drugs either. I have great respect for altered states, and substances that achieve that and as a Medical Anthropologist I honor the sacred traditions that have accompanied certain "medicines", and those societies respect and honor the substance. We've lost that. Sad right there.

But! I am posting this BECAUSE it is about thinking in a new way, learning to listen to things in a new way, and damn it, it's about our maintaining our CHOICES for ourselves! This show is also about calling bullshit on things. Hey, that's the name of the show, I'm only quoting.

I admit I hate someone else telling me what's good for ME, based on their opinions and rules. I'm a big girl, and I want to make my own choices. I remember telling my father that at 15. "I'm not stupid. And if I make a mistake, ok. I have to make my own mistakes." He said "Why can't you just LISTEN TO ME and do what I tell you to!" It's that "do what I tell you to" that has always gotten to me. Don't order me around. Suggest it, let me think about it, if I agree, ok.

And, we've been talking about how there is the war on fat, and the war on cancer, and the war on diabetes, and the war on high blood pressure and how those things are INCREASING-and why! Because we PUSH BACK and oppose. Human nature. The very energy of it, increases it. Not decreases it.

They do a really good job on this show of looking at things is a whole new way! :) You might be offended by the bullshit language-but this is a showtime show!


It's about 30 min. And it ends with telling us that the US government actually funded studies for medical mj and actually still have people getting medical mj-paid for by the feds! Hmmmmm Double standard? It DOES have medicinal use, and it's illegal? Oh well, we can name a few other things that have bit the dust that way can't we?

And remember you CAN get medical mj. Pharmacies CAN write perscriptions for it. You can get medical releases to grow your own for health reasons. Why don't they just make marajuana a pharmaceutical, and call it quits, let the big pharmaceutical companies take it over, and it will become as common a substance as willow bark...eer....aspirin. What an idea!

I love it when the guy says he "HAS TO" smoke a maryjane AS he drives to work on the freeway in DC...LOL oh boy...what that does to belief systems eh???


The raw milk thing has raged ever since I had cows and goats and that is over 35 years ago. The chances of settling it, at least in my lifetime, are minimal.

Raw milk is a living entity. Calves fed only pasteurized milk will die in a relatively short time as opposed to raw milk where they grow to about six hundred pounds in ONE year.

As long as the cows are TB and Brucillosis tested-the state of NH did this every three years for free-then the raw milk is safe to drink. At one time, around the 30's-that's 1930's! Brucillosis and TB were a real problem but with the testing that's done on dairy herds today it is virtually unheard of. We drank it for years and never had any problems. It sure tastes better than milk that has been through the entire process that it takes to heat it, etc.

When my son's class went to the dairy to see how milk is bottled I was struck how much different this was than going out milking, straining it into a jar and sticking it into the fridge I had just for milk!

Raw milk gets sour if the containers are not kept spotless but not rotten like milk that has been pasteurized. I rinsed my jars with Lime Away and then put them through the dishwasher to keep the containers clean. Even sour milk is not harmful to the body! Rotten milk is though...

I tried not impart more info than you want to know! Happy Paths, Romedy

STUFFED PEPPERS - a good main course meal for company

I took one of our favorite regular recipes and began to play with it. I came up with this! This also saves well if you end up with extra. You can warm it up in a double boiler if you want it later as leftovers. If you don't have a double boiler, put water in a pot, put a face cloth in the bottom, place a smaller bowl inside it and your food inside that bowl: bring the water towards a boil. And it will gently warm your food without cooking it, and you aren't damaging the enzyme content.

4 red peppers, cut tops off and take out seeds.
Whisk together: 1/4 c oil (olive or flaxseed) with 1 tsp chopped garlic, salt and pepper and 1/2 lemon squeezed in, as a dressing. Put it aside.

Blanch the red peppers by dunking them quickly in water you have just taken off the boil. This will slightly soften them but not cook them. If that seems too hot, simmer them in a warm water bath for a little while until soft. Take them out, stand them in a glass pan and drizzle the dressing on them and let them sit in the oven that is set at your lowest temperature while you make the stuffing, and leave the oven door open a bit. If you have a dehydrator, you could take the trays out and put them in there. This will warm them and the dressing will also work on the peppers.

2 c walnuts (or pecans, or mix em up a bit)
1 pkg sundried tomatoes/ if not in oil, add oil and let soak for several hours prior to soften
1 sm red onion
1 zucchini
1/2 head sm cauliflower
handful of fresh parsley that been washed and the long stems removed.

Put all the stuffing ingredients in the food processor (or your blender) and munch them up fine. Add cayenne, s&p, and a touch more flaxseed or olive oil, and squeeze another lemon in as it's whirling away.

Then stuff the peppers, and put them back in the warm oven until ready to eat!

Friday, February 9, 2007


So what the hell is the truth about pasteurization anyway? I keep getting these radical sites that are ranting about how "those organic people" are bringing down the American Dairy farmer, and that there is no difference in milk. "Milk is milk".

Not being a big milk drinker-no lactase producing villi in my intestines, I don't care much-but was wanting to do yogurt for the B vitamins. Why? Well I can tell you all about THAT! And real yogurt has a bunch of em. B vitamin deficient mean we can't process iron for one thing and contributes to anemia so I take B shots from time to time, and do liquid B vitamins so it metabolizes quicker because pills don't break down in my stomach-a gastric bypass thing again.

B vitamin insufficiences are behind the scenes of alot of illnesses though...if we were to track in deep enough instead of taking a pill for the frontline symptom. Myself included.

Romedy is right-all the brand name yogurts are going to have to use pasteurization processes, or like ODWALLA, they will be brought down. Ah ha! Don't mess with the FDA.

Make our own? Anyone ever done that? Target has yogurt makers-I've not tried this. But hey in looking it up it's done at the same temperature as the dehydrator, and for the same reason. To preserve the nutritional value and keep the food live. Makes sense. Has anyone tried Kefir? Is it like buttermilk? Ew. I personally don't care for it-an aquired taste, but if I can eat raw eel and seaweed now, and like it, ok~

WHY are we so dead food oriented in this country??? Because it's good for business-pharmaceutical business. wow...I should go for a run right now and get some of this out! Did I dip in my estrogen? Better go open a tube of pregesterone cream and mellow out. It does make me angry. I can't go to the store and buy a product and trust that what it says on the label is not only true, but good for me, even if I pay more money.

Makes me want to only buy small brands...but now we know they are being bought up-so even if you THINK they are small, follow the money and they are owned by the big boys which means Coca Cola owns Odwalla. same same.

Used to be that Jamba juice fresh squeezed their carrot juice. Not anymore!
And when we order apple and lemon from Wild Oats-they add it as juice, meaning it's not fresh like the greens are.
Faster but not the same is it...