Tuesday, July 31, 2007

hello all!

Sorry I havent written in a while, its been a busy but wonderful past few weeks...I went to Lily Dale - the psychic community in upstate NY...really interesting so much energy - kind of campy though....but you could really feel the intensity....it was good for me to see the way the community worked good research for costa rica! Anyway I am leaving for New Orleans tomorrow until Sunday havent been there since Katrina so should be interesting. I love it there it really feels like magic...I believe Ive decided to sell my apt in NYC, I know doesnt sound so storng but Im sort of getting used to the idea of it slowly and its hard for me to officially say it until im packed and its on the market...selling it will allow me to build costa rica. I realized that this apt doesnt really suit my needs right now anyway so the money would be better used elsewhere...I figure if I want an apt in ny I can always rent or eventually buy one that works better for where I am now... So a lot of clearing and transforming going on here...miss you all and hope everythings going well for you guys!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

My new blog for Living Joy!us

I'm in the process of creating a new blog "Living joyus" and phasing out my website as we now know it. I posted a link to the right for anyone that would like to check it out. Any feedback you might want to offer, what to make sure we have, don't, please let me know.
I'm in the "writing" and creating stage-sorting through and editing. You know how that goes. But August fast approaches and I am getting ready!



I LOVE this! I can't wait until this is everywhere. How cool is this??? Wouldn't it be awesome to open a workshop with this?

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Baby Birds have flown the nest

I was so excited to see that the babies were still in the nest last night when I got home-I've been wanting to see them launch from the nest and into the world...

but alas...

when I got up this morning-they were all gone and the guarding parents too, so attentive all this time...it feels so quiet! This is a photo I took two weeks ago or so-I realized that there were 5 little ones and not just 2 as I had thought earlier. Happy flying babies. Maybe I will see them at the bird feeders. Where do baby birds go when they fly out I wonder?

Jon and I saw our first hummingbird up here today though. I don't have a feeder out as I didn't think we had any. I shall have to get one up now! That was very cool!

P.S. I know what happens to baby birds-they return to the nest. Pam-they do! :) They all are tucked back into the nest, every one. HAH! I can see all the little heads looking down at me.

Fire the Grid Results

No one has posted about this? I'm so curious-did you meet? Did you feel anything? I set my alarm and decided to say the OM MANE PADME HUM for an hour as I forgot to take the music.
At about half way my entire body started to shake uncontrollably and that lasted in waves for about 10 minutes. It calmed and I found myself very sleepy. I had to rock to stay awake to complete it, then I immediately dozed off until we had to get up for class.

The GCP is the "Global Consciousness Project" through Princeton. They DID note a statistically significant upward blip in human consciousness that day! How about that!

If you don't know who they are, the GCP has been measuring the shifting vibration in human collective/mass consciousness since 1998. This is multi cultural, international, multi-disciplinary, conglomeration of scientists, engineers, artists and others to track the consciousness of the world.

They have placed 60 instruments (called eggs) around the planet that measure deviations from norm and changes due to events, natural events, and disasters.

More to the point, from a scientific standpoint, is the rise in mass consciousness vibration since the GCP project started in 1998. Another quote: "The overall result is highly significant. The odds against chance are about a million to one," meaning that there IS a generally rising vibration of human consciousness.

fire the grid results

and this is their whole website:

Om Mani Padme Hum

I love the sound of this one, and the spinning of the letters-which is traditional.
Lina has been asking me for the meaning of the mantra, and the writing...I've now learnt something new!
The mantra itself can't really be translated, but it hits all the levels

The six syllables purify the six realms of existence in suffering.
For example, the syllable Om purifies the neurotic attachment to bliss and pride, which afflict the beings in the realm of the gods.

Purifies Samsaric Realm
bliss / pride

jealousy /
lust for entertainment
jealous gods

passion / desire

stupidity / prejudice

poverty /
hungry ghost

aggression / hatred

Sunday, July 22, 2007


This is a riot. Found it on Google. Looks like an old add from the 50's . So all you baby boomers can understand how wonderbread and sugar became a part of our daily diet. She says, SUGAR SWINGS! Well no kidding, but the Swing I'm experiencing is not so much fun. I hope you can read this. It really is hysterical exspecially the stern warning to mothers. Go to Google images and put in sugar. This image was on the second page.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Three Headed Dragon

I think I'll name him Harry. Anyone else having trouble with shifting moods. I swear mine changes more than I change my underwear. Some times up and down and up in the same day. Tuesday I was high high high. I wondered if it was because of all the prayer that went out that day for the planet. Then yesterday woke up fine but by last night I was planning my demise and leaving my small fortune ( not really a fortune) to Catherine Ann so she could buy her house. Kooky talk.

Have been having the most wonderful experiences of feeling what it's like when in love. The -OH! I can't wait to get home to be with her feeling. Great expectancy of knowing that feeling again. These experieces have not been just remembering what it was like but feeling it to the point you almost think it's real. I don't think about it or call them up, they just appear all of a sudden and I think WOW. Kind of like the BIG O experience I had in Park City Catherine Ann. OH I have to tell you guys about that one, FUNNY!
Catherine Ann and I went to Park City last weekend. We had a wonderful time in the art galleries and enjoying the shops. We sat down to talk in the shade and eat a piece of chocolate fudge. ( YES GIRLS IT WAS COOKED FUDGE - Copa Mia Copa Mia Copa Mia) I was sitting on a hard bench and by the time we got up my butt was asleep. We walked into a gallery and all of a sudden I guess the blood rushed back to that " area " and I thought I was going to have an Orgasm. There was nothing erotic in the art gallery, it just happened. I couldn't quit giggling. I felt like a teenage boy. I couldn't move because every time I took a step I got the big surge and thought Oh my God I am going to go stiff and fall in the floor! What a life. Anyway that has never happened before. I told Catherine Ann what was happening and she suggested that I walk FAST and Enjoy! Aren't friends great. Anyway the purpose of this story is it just happened, I wasnt' thinking about it. These feelings have been just happening too.
It's been such a long time, 7 years now. (Let me clarify, since I was in love not the other thing, God forbid.) So feeling it again was incredible. And as Jac Joy Romedy and CA know from walking with me over the past 6 years, a feeling that I thought I would never have again because I didn't ever think I could allow myself to love like that again. So this is a big jump. A big healing. So glad I burned the snake skin at the fire. That seemed to be last piece of a long hield wounding from the past.

The relationship corner on my property is absolutely full with life, more than any other place on my small piece of land. Aphrodite, the love goddess sits in the space. (Pic Above) It just seemed to happen all of a sudden w/o may planning it that way, just like magic. Just like the money plant that came up in my wealth and abundance corner. I didn't plan or plant it, it just came up. I planted my relationship corner but never dreamed it would be so full. SO I look out and think , Oh my God it's happening. Then something shifts and yesterday I didn't want to come home to my empty house. I dreaded coming home. Then Harry showed up with all his pictures of everything awful. Harry has pissed on my paraide. BAD DRAGON!
Anyway, is it just me or are the rest of you having spontaneous orgasims? LOL, just kidding. I am talking about the emotional body and the feelings being all over the place. This has been a challenging week for me on many levels.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

What's for lunch?

I was sitting in my office just before lunch and thinking, what should I go get to eat? Visions flashed across my mind like salad, green juice, celery with peanut butter, zucchini chocolate chip muffin (Wild Oats has a great one). I just couldn't decide what I wanted, so I decided to 'Thoogle.' I did a quick Theta to get some words, then went to Google and typed in 'good food.' Lo and behold, look what came up after clicking on the first link in the list:

Dead good is right. After laughing out loud for a couple of minutes, an amazing thing happened - I completely lost my appetite. So a couple of old adages really are true: 1) Laughter is the best medicine, and 2) a picture is worth a thousand words (or in this case, a thousand calories).

Monday, July 16, 2007

Maca Lovers Unite

I just ran across an ad in the Wild Oats magazine for an Organic Maca Bar by the Potent Foods company. This chocolate bar contains 5,000 mg of maca - equivalent to about 10 capsules. I'll bet eating this bar will make me run around like a mouse in a maze for a least a week. Not to mention the mental clarity, stamina, and libido effects.

I think I'll go buy one!

some thoughts

i was just thinking about how small things we do have such a larger a/effect than we can ever even dream...i keep thinking of this idea that we are all holding onto a piece and its so much bigger than even we can imagine. i think about people that are just going about their daily lives not realizing how they have touched and changed people forever and on a larger scale how that grows outward reaching almost infinite in all directions...teachers, lovers, artists, plants, animals, your average joe, everyone everything....everything touches us if we choose that we want to be touched...and being touched is so very important...if we all acknowledged how important we are as part of a larger one i think we would love ourselves more take care of ourselves more and nourish ourselves more because its not just loving ourself for ourselves its for all of us....every ONE.

i feel like these past few weeks here have been huge i feel like ive come to a completion with some very deep things and made peace with them. i am having this sense now that i am feeling this higher vibration of connecting into the universal love flow as i have not felt in this way before...i realize its taken me getting past all of these things to be ready to tap into this larger flow...having to clear out of my own way so i can play in the bigger field...it was at times more painful than i thought and sometimes quite painless and quick but i feel like now (as joy uses the root analogy) that i have soaked it so well that i can begin to pull up deeper roots...ive always said this was a journey for my heart and i feel like i am somewere old and new at this moment at this beautiful ornate door, and clearly its ongoing and eternal, for now though i feel like this part of the journey is coming to a completion and now ready to continue on and open the door to see whats really there what ive hidden behind door number one.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Surreal real

I had the oddest evening-the group I used to study shamanism with is having a session of the medicine wheel class this week. Several of the students were in the Amazon recently with me, and we arranged to go to dinner tonight. The trainings have been all over Park City, but tonight is the first time I realized that they are back in the same lodge that I used to go to for my classes....10-12 years ago!!!

I parked and walked in, and was feeling myself there years ago...walking around commenting that there was no coffee shop, no little place up there at the Lodge to buy things-but there is now! "Food for Thought" which was the name of the cookbook I wrote 10 years ago...how odd is that?

I was looking around at all the bright shiny faces, all excited about their newly opening shamanic world, and feeling the glow of communicating with the world around them-and I saw myself...

just for moments that seem stretched in slow motion, I stepped out of time and saw my class in that room...I saw myself folding up my mesa and talking to someone beside me...I watched myself pick up a tiny hummingbird feather that was under my mesa, and look intently at it and start to laugh with it laying in the palm of my hand...

I had asked for a sign that day, something that would prove that there was REALLY someone with me, answering my requests, helping me along the way-and I didn't ask for just any sign-I wanted specifically a hummingbird feather to appear. I figured that that was rare and random enough to be a less likely feather to appear.

A few hours later when I folded up my mesa- that had been laid out all day in the same place- there UNDER IT, was the feather, bold as anything. I remember holding it in the palm of my hand and laughing. I tried to remember if I had seen it there before? Maybe I had seen it there when I was laying out my mesa, and forgotten?

I glanced around, and lost track of the class that was now, and it swished into the class that was then...watching students milling around, deciding on where to go for dinner ... I smiled. It just goes on, year after year, each year those students beginning, stepping into the footprints of those that went before...the path well worn now...

I walked outside and saw myself again, sitting on a bench. I remember her world was rocking. She wasn't sure why she was there, what she was going to do with it, why she was spending so much money, feeling guilty for leaving her family, then young kids, to run off and play with rocks and feathers! What was she going to do with it, and what was happening to her? She felt like the sand was shifting under her feet, and she both liked and disliked it.

I walked over and I sat on the same bench, and felt myself slip inside her, and her inside me. I took a deep breath and released the past, and released myself as a student. I realized that my entire mesa, thanks to the Amazon, is finally and completely mine.

I never did catch up with the people I was going to meet for dinner...crossed wires, or maybe just not meant to be. All is well. It was an amazing feeling! Like alumni rewalking the halls of their old school, seeing the new students, and remembering their own days there. You can't go back. You go on!


The last two days have been about really noticing the small things-a large feather laying between the front door and the screen door when I opened it this morning...

A group of clouds all in the shape of arrows pointing to the left, layers of them, and as I noticed one, the next would develop and then the next until there were a dozen of them...all in perfect arrowhead shape...

The angles of light coming in the window that were refracting in the most interesting geometric shapes with light shimmering in shapes I had never seen before from those objects...

details. small things. I kept hearing myself saying "yes, I see you, yes, I get it..." but what is really going on? DOn't know. Just feels good, gentle connections.

A fond Adieu

I will see you all after the 24th when I return I hope. Until then-be well!

Living in a fog

I've been on an extreme low for the last few weeks. My creativity is nill, my energy level and motivation is low. Physical exertion, overwork, and the abominable heat have taken their toll. Added to this is I just can't seem to make people happy, at home or at work. And to make matters worse, I catch myself looking ahead for tomorrow's salvation instead of living in the present.
My hairdresser said something profound - that my body was trying to catch up with the transformations I've been going through, and I was being influenced by the energetic shifts occurring within the collective. Then surprisingly he said, 'Do you ever dream about flying?" And it came to me in a flash - yes, I remember flying. I remember soaring and gliding. I remember a huge cavern with people on the ground and I was light, lighter than air, floating far above the crowd. Was this a dream? Or something that I experienced in a lifetime long ago? Or will it be in a lifetime to come?

How can I capture and keep with me this lightness, this essential feeling of freedom?

trusting it to god...

a really hard thing sometimes...

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


Feathers have always been special finds for me, but now that I've filled the bird feeders, every morning there are different colored feathers around the yard. I love it! This morning I laid in bed listening and there were so many unusual bird calls around us! Birds I've never heard before. I'm going to have to tape them. I found a bright orange feather today. I've never seen an orange feather here! Quite tropical!

The Garden

I found it very difficult to leave for work this morning. I wanted to sit in the garden

There is a rhythm there that requires stillness born of wonder."Solomon is all is glory ............"

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Dinner Tomorrow Night !!

Do you guys want to meet at Squatters tomorrow for dinner at 6/6:30/7?
What time would be best?

The address is 147W Broadway........

quotes from the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius

  • If thou art pained by any external thing, it is not this that disturbs thee, but thy own judgment about it. And it is in thy power to wipe out this judgment now.
  • A cucumber is bitter. Throw it away. There are briars in the road. Turn aside from them. This is enough. Do not add, "And why were such things made in the world?"
  • Let opinion be taken away, and no man will think himself wronged. If no man shall think himself wronged, then is there no more any such thing as wrong.
  • (...) As for others whose lives are not so ordered, he reminds himself constantly of the characters they exhibit daily and nightly at home and abroad , and of the sort of society they frequent; and the approval of such men, who do not even stand well in their own eyes has no value for him.
  • Reject your sense of injury, and the injury itself disappears.
  • Do not act as if thou wert going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over thee. While thou livest, while it is in thy power, be good.


and the greek version for joy!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

You Are Loved

Still avoiding my work. This is one of my favorite songs, and this evening I decided to put my new images to it.


Twins? Dolphins?




8mo old

Well there's our boy you all have been working on. He is getting better and lighter. I am holding Chole. After a 5 hour car ride she astill arrived like this, laughing and light! They look at you, staring directly into your eyes and at times I swear they are looking not at you but your aura. Jaxon on several occasions was working with his hands in a way that looked like he was actually working with the energy in the room or the cosmos? It was really incredible to see. Charise noticed the same thing right away that I was seeing and said look at him, what is he doing, it looks like he is working with something. I handed him a toy he likes at one point and he threw it over his shoulder and kept moving his hand and fingers in a rhythmic motion.

The greatest thrill was listening to them coo and laugh, they sound, Honest to God, Just like Dolphins. All of us noticed, the parents and the grandmother said Oh there's there Dolpin. Like they knew two languages. I was amazed.

Thanks all of you for helping Jaxon. He is still having some issues but he is much better.

john of god at omega institute

my friend and i are going to this, and i thought you guys would want to check it out an maybe go...he just gave me the number today its 800-944-1001 he said there was a wait on the line so dont be discouraged, and also he thinks there may be some space, although there is only camping room available --- how amazing if we could all be there!


Awakening the Divine Within

Entheogen-Awakening the Divine Within

Documentary: and this is the trailer
are we ready to take the next step into mind expansion consciousness? Quite interesting...techno shamanism!

Interview with Alex Grey

I'm totally avoiding my work. But! Here's a great video interview on Alex Grey and his beautiful mystical art.

and look at this as a studio--wow!


I think Baxter's Got the Virus!


If you want to lighten your day-remember the old "Candid Camera"? I used to love those! Well there are about 6 gags and some of these are quite funny!

Finding our Passion

For some people, they are their passion. It isn't an external something that they wait for the arrival of, like the great wave to ride in to the shore. Rather, it is an internal energy that they have and are. It lights them up. It moves them forward. It surges and grows...

Some call that fervor. Or zealotism. We don't always honor that level of passion, whether in ourselves, or others. An abundant burning seems to be something we shun, something we try to cap or stifle. Or medicate! It isn't acceptable. The religious zealot...how is that different than the perceived saint? is it the quietness of the delivery perhaps? The burning of the kundalini, for instance. Some might call it mission.

We've been talking about passion and motivation. I heard myself saying "I need to feel passionate about what I do, inorder to do it". So for me, it's a kinesthetic knowing, a body feeling. It's that tingle, or energy that comes through me.

Is passion then, the same as creative inspiration? Could be. When I get that passionate engagement, I am inspired.

Inspiration seems to be like that wave we wait for too, isn't it? We wake with inspiration. We are struck with inspiration. When it hits, we burn with it, must do it now, and then it leaves us. When we are without inspiration, the world is grey, and we are left waiting for it to arrive again.

Isn't this similar to cycles that are hormonal? Couldn't this be our biorhythms? Nutritional? Isn't this something we can regulate with our thoughts, and desires, and theta? Can we train ourselves to reach up at any time-on our timetable instead of waiting for its whimsical return?

Can we allow ourselves the new beliefs that we can call on our passion to fill us, rather than waiting for it to be bestowed upon us? Can we ask for our passion, and then allow it in, rather than having it overtake us?

Where in our lives do we wait to be "taken over"? Love? Relationships?
What are the unconscious markers that we have, that lay the boundaries and frame for what we can and can't allow in to our lives?

Saturday, July 7, 2007


This is very cool and gives you the words to chant along. Use this to meditate to-a visual mediation. Some background:
Gayatri is the feminine form of the sanskrit word for hymn, and was a Goddess, the mother of all vedas...the ultimate unchanging that lies behind...the 3 realms of existence...past present and future.

She will sometimes show as the Goddess of education: with a white swan
a divine awakening of the mind and soul

om bhoor bhuva suvah
tat savitur vareNyam
bhargo devasya dheemahi
dhiyo yo nah prachodayaat

"O God, Thou art the giver of life, the remover of pain and sorrow, the bestower of happiness; O Creator of the Universe, may we receive Thy supreme, sin destroying light; may Thou guide our intellect in the right direction."


This is really beautiful, and especially the timing considering the event at the Gonpa.
We are spiritual beings conceived through the sound of creation
Remember you are spiritual beings having a human experience...we keep hearing that don't we!

Om Shanti Om
Om Mani Padme Om

Killer Vespa

Tonight the guys wanted me to get on the Vespa at long last. I'm like "Ok, I'm ready-bring it out!" Years ago when I bought it T had pointed it down our long driveway in Ogden...and I had intuitively known that wasn't gonna be a good idea-so I had refused. But now-with our nice little flat driveway-I was ready!

T says "I want to see this!" I smile, get on in my skirt, pretty cocky it can't be that big a deal...and

VOOOOOMMMMM....sucker goes fast! Before I knew it I was flying out the driveway, across the street and was up on the neighbor's lawn before I remembered I could brake, and how to! T says I threw my feet out to either side into the air and looked like I was hanging on!

I was!

I was laughing so hard I almost fell off the bike! I was doubled over laughing. I kept seeing what I had looked like and couldn't stop laughing! Tony was about to split himself he was laughing so hard. He finally said "You could have KILLED yourself!" I said "I know!" He said "What if a car had been coming!" I said "I know!"

Maybe I better go back to the bike and forget the motor for awhile! That little thing is ZIPPY! One red yamaha for sale?

Friday, July 6, 2007


Happy Birthday to our two Cancer crabs. When Kathy gets back, we will all go and celebrate! Meanwhile-have wonderful birthdays! Have wonderful years!

Cudos to Lauren

The smoothie was awesome that Lauren posted the other day...and I want to go out and make it tonight.

3 carrots
2 beets
4-5 garlic cloves

then put it in the blender with 1-2 bananas...

I know I know it sounds gross...but wow!
And the color is beeee-u-ti-ful!

Thursday, July 5, 2007


Anyone seen Michael Moore's latest? SICKO. Get this-he is getting THE LEAST amount of flak for this film and that scares him. He says that means that this time no one is surprised by what he has to say...

If you haven't heard about it, it's about our medical system. He says it isn't safe to get sick in this country! And he shows why...all the dirty little secrets of the insurance companies, and hospitals.

I think we should see this as a field trip and then go for our annual dinner.

thoughts on money and dreams

isnt 'money' just another word for other? isnt it the same with relationships husbands friends kids jobs food alcohol etc....some of us wake up years later going i swear i started this with a beautiful dream good intentions and somehow it snowballed and i woke up here???

hmmm i didnt even check out the website so i didnt see the money part...i think the changepoint the point thats a complete turnoff for me, the sadness, is when someone loses sight of what the mission was in the first place...like with the secret great idea went off in wrong directionin my view --- even with religions great ideas beautiful ideas but wrong way of interpreting and expressing and shift into controlling and rules and limits etc......same with people in govnt....ive had this discussion over and over about certain people who take govt positions they begin wanting to make a change wanting to make a difference do good and be kind and either they find out they have to play the game and get addicted to it instead of the cause or they get sucked away and lose themselves.....even the army or navy what a great idea in theory a group of (well initially men) a form of ritual formed to protect and serve beautiful....then somehow with fear and rules and control and misguided leadership we end up here....no wonder many young people wanted or still want to join and feel a call its the initial dream that people yearn for that moment when change was possible a new idea is born something that seems idealistic and promising and free....i see how people get swept away by these fanatical people....people want to believe that the dream is still possible....that impossible dream...or possible one....

after celebrating july 4th yesterday i still think the ideas of 'america' were brilliant initially what an amazing group of pioneers explorers who believed in a vision of a different way of life but look how much damage weve caused to get 'there' whereever there is...but it was that vision that dream .... wow...thats what people want to connect to not the rules the bullshit the fear the suffering....

i think it is about HOLDING ground no matter what...yes you may have to bend and may have to do a few things you wish you didnt have to to get where you want but must not lose sight of it and go all 'dirty cop' if you get my drift...must not lose integrity or give it up...i think its a larger lesson in general....its easy to get swept away by the big lights and lose yourself....or get hooked up to the wrong people who arent nuturing you or are bad energy....

if you know who you are and what your beliefs are i think you can play the game make money enjoy nice things and maintain integrity and loyalty and be true to who you are...so many people fold though under pressure and run after green eyed monster or give up power to 'other'...

you can see it though in their eyes i think...its sort of a sadness for what could have been that innocent spark that somehow was lost became jaded--- but its that belief in infinite potential in magic that still is in there somewhere....thats the divine child.....

Fire the Grid and Abundant Living

The idea is to join-whether alone, in a group, or virtually, for one hour, at a specific time, in meditation. You don't have to be anywhere but with yourself-

The idea is to commit to doing a small something.

The idea is to live, between now and then, and after, with the understanding that we give thanks, everyday, live from a place of gratitude and abundance, and make a committment to life, and understand that we are not alone.

That's everything we have been moving towards anyway, isn't it? It's everything as a community we have been moving towards. It's everything that as a collective, whether we are aware or not, that we are moving towards...anyway! This is an outward act of committment. "Commit, and we will support you." That's a universal message we have been hearing forever.

A few years ago I realized that I really hadn't committed to living fully. When I listened to her saying that she was going through the motions for 4 years, and still had not committed, I got it. She felt resentful, and pushed. She didn't come to it with her heart-she didn't trust it. She was overcoming those years of sexual abuse and anger and pain.

Finding our passion is about finding our committment. Whether that is to another person, or whether that is to a job, or a cause, but ultimately it is waking up and living the life we have chosen. This one. Not someone else's that looks more exciting or more fulfilling. You chose your life. You.

If it's to spend the day watching the birds, do it with committment to that moment.
If it's to spend the day in the garden pulling weeds, do it with your heart open, sending your sekee lines down into the earth and letting yourself fill with the light of living energy, grace and beauty. Connect to the messages in the shape of the leaves and the glint of light on the petals of those weeds. Make it a prayerful experience-your day to day living.

They've said over and over to us that we have nothing more to do here than to raise our own vibration and by doing so we raise the vibration of all around us. That's huge! It means becoming conscious instead of going through the motions. It's means committing to every day living. It means opening our hearts now, and letting go of those contingencies we've stored up.

So maybe Shelley Yates has taken a near death experience and turned it into a cause for the past 5 years. so what? Is the message less valid? So what that there are tshirts and CDs for sale-you don't have to buy them inorder to be part of this. Buying the tshirt doesn't better your odds-like those magazine contest hypes.

I invite you to notice your first reactions to the idea of FIRE THE GRID.
Do you meet it with doubt?
Do you meet it with irony and disbelief?
Do you meet it with joy?
Do you meet it with anger?
Do you meet it with your head nodding, or shaking?

To me, getting 15,000 hits a day, and 500 emails, and doing back to back talks over and over, day after day, says that there is a community out there ready to unite in doing a better something. That excites me!

You know what all this abundant stuff is about? It's about waking people up! It's about getting a whole BUNCH of people to begin to think that they have a chance to change their "poverty thinking" experience. Ok, so at first it's about the stuff. But once they play with manifesting and GET the stuff, they begin to lighten up the hold on that "survival" mentality, and begin to step up the hierarchy ladder. Maslow's ladder says that when we have our day to day needs taken care of, we can then begin to look altruistically towards helping the world. That's about beginning to be informed through our crown chakra instead of our base chakra. It's exactly what David Hawkins is talking about when he says that when we raise our vibration we are changing our engagement with experiences-not the other way around.

We've been playing with manifesting and creating for awhile-but you all are the bushwhackers. Now realize that there are millions coming up behind you that this is new for! Isn't that exciting! It's what we've been waiting for!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007


Pulled weeds, dug out perennials, moved 20 yards topsoil, and completed 12 performance appraisals today - whew! Is life ever going to slow down? Superwoman I'm not, and superwoman I don't want to be.

I should be able to make the July 17th gathering at 5:11 a.m., although I have to say I was a little put off when I read 'Fire the Grid' and saw so many products to buy. My logical, suspicious mind thought, Here's a great way to make money. Reach out to people where they are the most vulnerable - their spirituality. Then again, I, of all people, can sure understand people needing money!

posting as alice....

hey sorry i think ive been posting as alice, my mom, since ive been using her computer...anyway just didnt want you guys to think there was some stalker on the site! something seems to be wrong anyway with the comments....bizarre....anyway...ill be in tomorrow! look forward to seeing you guys! let me know when meeting next and ill come as me not alice...heehee...!

Meditation at Bo's house on TUESDAY July 17

Bo's house. And you all meditate the sunrise in...a new day dawning...what time is sunrise that day? 6:09am...just by the end of the meditation the sun comes up...the last 2 minutes!

Shoot! I just realized I will be out of town starting that Monday. I won't be with you except in spirit! Well, carry on! I will be with you from a distance...isn't that a song?

Sugarhouse park if you all decide. I have to leave it to you though-so post it. I will be OOT and can't head the charge. But DO IT. I think it will be wonderful. I will see if I can get something going in IL.

Morning Song

This has been a magic morning. Sitting here in front of my computer writing and reading. Joy thank you for sending Firing the Grid. It rings very true for me and I hope we will be able to join together in our sacred circle to mediate and connect in this project.

The garden is so incredibly beautiful this morning and I have my window open and can feel a greater part of being one with the planet as the cool breeze floats in and lovingly touches my skin. Lost in the rainbow reflected in the mist. The birds have been singing to me and I was startled at how beautiful the song of the finch can be, so small and yet so powerful her song. Then I looked out my window at the trumpet vine just in time to see Hummingbird drinking from it's sweet nectar, almost close enough for me to touch.

I feel the new world coming. I feel a responsibility to hold space for this new birth. I feel this more strongly than ever and as usual feel incredible gratitude that you all walk with me as midwives.
Happy independence day? Maybe better said, Happy Interdependence Day. Even now as I write I hear Crow singing, speaking his truth. (Carrier of souls from darkness into light). The Web of life to which we all belong is calling out for our our song, our life, our gentle passing into the new world.

Firing The Grid

Breathing Heaven and Earth, I haven't listened to all of her talk on You Tube, but I will finish it today. I am so deeply touched by what she is saying, so much of what she describes is so much, like what I have experienced. I honor her willingness to stand out there and say what she was told. Yes, I even feel some shame (I know clear it) that I wasn't willing to step out there and tell this story. I found as I was listening to her that I was crying. The music is so touching, but I found her the most moving of all. I don't know that I can even come up with the words to describe what I am feeling. I know that I am feeling another shift. Its an amazing time we are in. This bringing together community...we are all related...we can all be united...

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

WATCH at least through part 3

Watch this through at least part 3...
it's riveting!

THIS is what it means to fill with joy
and heal by filling others with joy

and what it is to find our faith again

and exactly what I have been saying:
we fill them with the feeling we have...but we have to have it or have felt it sometime. That's all.

this is very cool...spiritual beings on a human journey...I've said that exact thing. Ok ok...there is no original thought...

You must do your part to be part of it.
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
do no harm and start with yourself
do everything you do with honesty and integrity
find your human joy and be thankful for the opportunity
3 tangible tokens: lost rituals...this is so shamanic!
part 6
Hierarchy of needs-take care of the children-project cause
be conscious of what you are doing
random acts of kindness
lift your field by finding your joy and add a gratitude moment to it-says thanks
listen to music that UPlifts your soul
color your world with shades that uplift you
part 7
reestablishing ritual and prayer as a way to fire our own grid
write your intention to connect to the grid and write what you want for the world, and what your joy is, if you can't do it that day, and sign it
they figure they have upwards of 5 million already onboard ready to fire the grid on the 17th.
2012 is a birthdate of whatever is the energy that is in the greatest abundance...collective choice
part 8


If you haven't received this yet in your inbox, and have received emails from people objecting...you might be curious what it is all about! I was. What the heck is "Fire the Grid?"

I just received this from a friend today, in answer to the question I asked yesterday:

Read the story: very cool!
The only thing they ask is that we join for one hour in meditation
July 17, 2007 at 11:11 Greenwich Mean Time. — 05:11 (5:11 AM) in your time zone —

I was noticing that the music was giving me chills...and then she wrote "the frequency of the song "Sky Sent" will facilitate the opening of the soul and help with the frequency adjustment. As we enter a time of more loving energy the frequencies of our earth will heighten. The tonal frequencies of this song awaken a sleeping piece of our soul to remind us of the potential within us all. This song is available for download, and if you listen carefully with your heart, you will not only hear the truth in the words but your body will feel the stirrings of remembering who you really are..."

Be Still Thy Soul

Music & Lyrics by Bradfield


Be still thy soul
Relinquish this hold
Make thee again whole
Be still thy mind
Let thee unwind
And seek out a shrine

Harvest the gold
That's planted around you
Strand by strand
You'll be somewhat more certain
Carve out your role
And reach for the heavens
All you can dream
What you can be
Know that the sky will deliver

Bestir thy heart
With journeys afar
And rivers of stars
Bestow thy love
On all that ye touch
On all that ye may

Hence, let it be told
That rhyme will be reason
Paint your world
With shades that will uplift you
And break, break from the mold
Shake off the illusions
Never again lost in dismay
All that you need is within you

Be still thy soul
And fix on the goal
Thy tale will be told
Be still thy mind
Make thee one
With the source of life.

You can download 30 min worth of the music on the website:

Here's a YOUTUBE on her too
FIRE THE GRID And coincidentally, the accident happened on my birthday-11-14-2002.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Fear not....

Its funny, wasnt even 'there' officially with you guys but am so there and was so there...Ive been working through some deep fear stuff and some old grief....this past week though I ahvent had it exit or come up as fear as it usually has, meaning something that literally scares the shit out of me...its come up silently like an image or thought and i just watch it fall off like a flake of skin...no big deal no craziness -- its all sort of slow and peaceful and beautiful in fact....very nice - and like joy said like a lamb...

(well except for a taxi-cab car crash last week....i was sitting in the middle seat between two people and our cab driver was going like 40 miles an hour i saw clearly that we were going to hit an idle car in the left lane and about 30 sec before it happened i started getting back in myt seat and screaming stop stop stop stop!!!!!!! anyway he hit the car (a lexus suv on a friday night in a 'hot' neighborhood - so 2 huge guys all dressed up jumped out ready to pounce!) we all got ok and i walked away thinking what the hell was that about----dont let someone else drive my life?)

anyway i feel really great im in south carolina with sister and mom and baby and we are having a great time-- spent the day with my mom and had a lot of catching up time....i feel so good internally i am listening to my body and have been really clear about what i need and when...

for the past few days ive been drinking the best juice (well best for what my body needs---ive been craving it SO intensely) a place in nyc made it the other day and i was there a few days in a row then made it here in SC this morning - its the immune booster :

beets and carrots juiced then add to
banana garlic in blender
liquid b-12
echinacea/goldenseal dropper
vit-c powder

holy shit. i love it.
my body is so hungry for it...
i keep getting that i need to detox (the garlic) yet get more minerals and vitamins as well as immune support....

feels so good to listen .... life is very good - i woke up the other night in ny thinking wow i am so blessed i have all of these amazing amazing people in my life right now talented beautiful kind wonderful souls are swimming and playing in these waves....it was such an amazing feeling.

the fear has been debilitating for the previous part of my life...and shedding it feels so wonderful, especially when i dont have to go into it so intensely to have it vanish...it feels good for a change to just have it peel away in a non-dramatic way....

so excited to see you all...cant wait to play!

Raw Break

I started to notice that this past week I was reaching for treat things, like raisin oatmeal cookies-and not the raw ones.
They tasted incredibly sweet, almost making my teeth ache. But I ate them. One a day, you know, those nice big soft fresh ones from Wild Oats? I've had bread this week, and some pasta.

My sleep has been good, and I generally felt ok, though I was getting slower each day. And today my ears feel congested, and I woke with a stuffy nose. My feet feel itchy. It definitely has activated something-or did it activate before which was why, after months and months, I started to eat sugar and flour again?

I've been eating more fruit than I usually do, and not doing any green juice for about 2 weeks now, except once or twice. And other than edamame, not much really green, compared to before. I think it's time to go back on a juice fast. Lauren says Mondays, I think mine will be Wednesday-mid week. A good choice.

I ran the frequencies today for adenovirus, ad 36, candida, general fungus, and general balancing. I'll let you know what happens.


This is the company that makes those nori wrapped raw snacks that I picked up at GOOD EARTH. I had the Italian wrap.


take a look at their other products too-they are out of TX.

Pain and the Frequencies

This is pretty amazing:

I told you all that T had tweaked his back pretty good lifting something on a jobsite before I left for our vision quest party. He was in ALOT of pain-but stoic about it. "I'll take something". He hadn't slept that night though because other than an occasional aspirin, he doesn't "take" anything.

"Do you want me to do some work on you?"
"No no, I'll be fine." "I'll just suffer through it was his unspoken presupposed statement, right?
I shrugged and left him to it. If people want to hang on to things, it has taken me a long time to LET THEM until THEY are ready to let it go. Especially T. It's all on their timetable-not mine.

When I came back yesterday, I showered and went to teach, and he was still hobbling around in pain-but it had escalated to constipation. He had now not slept for 2 nights. THAT got his attention because there was another time when he did this same thing and he ended up in the hospital because they thought he had a twisted bowel. Now...he's getting more open to allowing some work done because that whole thing was not fun-and in the end he had let me run energy on him and we left the hospital 15 min later. It had taken him alot longer to say "ok help me out here".

When I came home from teaching he said "can you run that machine on me?" and Jon said "Yeah Mom, run the machine on Dad".

I gave him the list of frequencies we decided would work: back pain, back injury, muslce relaxing, constipation, relaxation, gen. healing, and a few others". He punched them in, and we sat and watched a movie while they ran. Then he complained about having to sit-but I kept pointing out that he would be sitting and watching that movie anyway. It was the fact that he couldn't get up that got him-not that he needed to! But complaining was a good sign that they were working. We probably ran about 2 hours worth of frequencies while he sat and watched tv.

I noticed he was joking and much lighter right away, but that could have just been because he hoped it would help.

He slept all night, easily, got up for work and was pain free!

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Yea though I walk........

Incredible weekend my Sweet Shaman Friends. I believe with all that is in me that we are together.... to heal ourselves and to heal the planet. I am not certain that one is any harder than the other. And although Bear can invoke fear, I think that she is coming to lead us. We are responsible for the gifts we have been given. Many are called, few are chosen.


Hey Pam...

remember this?

it just occured to me...we had two blue moons this month...and YOU got two grandchildren this month...not once in a blue moon at all!

Orbs at the Vision Quest

Well, we had visitors. Notice the orbs above the fire.
Hope everyone enjoyed being together as much as I did this weekend. This was not the traditional Vision Quest I suppose. I hope the group can excuse me because I probably didn't hold the energy for prayer and fasting . Sometimes a girl just has to rebel a bit, especially when she has spent her life always trying to be good and do the right thing. Since this energetic piece of duality has been shifted, I find it hard to do anything that feels like coloring inside the lines. However I know I need to be sensitive to others and their process. But I just wanted to PARTY! I hope no one minded my Oyster Binge! LOL Which by the way go very well with White Wine as we discovered.
So, although not traditional I came away feeling lighter and less encumbered. I also feel like I am more clear on some of the pressing issues I face right now. I am finding I am not looking for the deep mystic experiences I craved in the past. They are wonderful but I am feeling more and more connected to God in the ordinary. I find that more than anything I want to live and love and be happy. I want to create something "Wonder-Full" everyday and I want to do it consciously. This is my Vision. I am blessed to have all of you to walk this path with me at this time. I feel incredible gratitude, do you think it's the sleep deprivation? :)
All in all, it is about the right now, step by step and being clear about what we DO WANT! We have to stop beating the drum about what we don't want. We know this and we practice. Thanks for the reminder Kathy. Oh and by the way, do you remember gifting the wood pecker feather to me several years ago? Wood Pecker is about hearing the rhythm of your own drum. Interesting that I gifted you with a drum. Must be a running theme for us.
Dance on Sisters!