Friday, May 23, 2008

New Look - New Movement

I love the new look of the blog, very fresh and clean - nice spring cleaning, Joy.

Physical movement has been on my mind a lot lately. Anyone interested in trying out a few of the 5K walks available on weekends? We could resurrect one of the ShamaMama logos to print on tee-shirts, and just have fun walking as a gang. Check out 5K walks in Utah. There's even a 'Running through the lavender fields' 5K in Mona in June.

Might be a good way to just start moving. Any interest?


If anyone is having trouble sleeping, I really want to suggest that you go to Whole Foods and get some L-Tryptophan.
L-T is one of the 20 standard amino acids, and is an essential component of our diets because we don't make it.

Seratonin and Melatonin can be made when we have enough L-T in our system. Without enough of it, we get depression.



We all know that turkey makes us sleepy, and I used to give my kids cheese before bed-this is why it worked!
Well now we can buy L-TRYP in Whole Foods, and I swear it is the BEST sleep med out there, besides helping to elevate mood, and being non-medicinal.

A New Look

Suggestions were to keep the blog, that it was beneficial to diary and to connect. So be it.
Suggestion was to update the look-change it. So be it.
I've also cleaned up our label lists, and you may notice I've condensed things. Pruning. it was getting a little wild and unruly.
Do we want to make it private, accessible to members only?

How We Meet Each Moment

Many of us have been 'noticing' interesting events lately, and while they are fun and curious, some of you are asking me what it means. To this I would say, it isn't so much what they mean as it is about how we meet them.

And because my job is always about the questions, let me pose some to you?

How does the experience, whether it is a dream, a visitation, an experience, leave you feeling?

What is the state WITHIN YOU that it has evoked?

What are you noticing about it, about yourself, and why has it caught your attention?

What do you want to take away from it?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

particularly hard (me vs me) winter?

As spring/summer is here now (and in this early morning reflection) im really feeling like this was a really intense winter. I feel like Ive been deep in some things some intense struggle with growing since at least November. I was also sick a lot which had me frustrated and angry. In thinking about this winter and what was so difficult Id have to say for me it felt like I was fighting myself a lot. I was making it really hard and in it going 'shit please stop making this so hard on yourself!' 'this is your fault' 'you have to change this' 'you know better' 'youre not going to get this' etc etc. All of the old voices the punishing ones were up. A friend asked has it always been like this for you? and I had a hard time with that question - has it?

Maybe winter has felt similar in the past - hibernating storing growing but a lot of it the hard way - i keep coming back to that feeling of growing pains really. Im future pacing next winter to be one where i really surrender into it and take advantage of all that those feelings have to offer without the voices behind me and me fighting me. It feels like Ive been fighting so hard with a lot of these pieces and I would really like to make an adjustment on that so starting now I am kinder to myself and have a more supportive and positive environment to grow and explore in. I have been that mean best friend to myself - ick - no wonder growing up I had those really nasty incredibly hurtful judgemental bossy best girl friends - duh they were just a reflection of the self punishing overly scrutinizing harsh me.

Ive been thinking recently about a real surrender into things instead of the 'ok how can i change this' or 'ok lets make this go away now' first feeling. Im noticing as Ive been acknowledging whatever it is im more able to work with it instead of this back and forth struggle. Its the slightest shift, something that i knew but I guess wasnt really practicing. I did do a lot of growing though looking back now. Ive done some pretty big things and worked on some huge pieces. Ive also created a lot of things - some that came very easy and some that were so incredibly difficult to birth. But maybe its life, and instead of fighting me so hard and trying to change all of it or getting pissed at it really saying huh this is life how wonderful. Some things are a little hard sometimes and some are easy both are ok. i know seems so obvious but theres been a part of me that was not conscious and still holding onto the fight and the struggle and the 'oh were going to show you difficult!'

Its not that fun to have the angry mean me breathing down my neck! (she can be a real bitch!) Anyway Im so excited about it being warm its been so needed to help shift a lot of things that have been stagnant. I feel a much nicer to ME me thats come out of this winter. Ive been talking to that mean version of 'me' and making some peace with her asking her what it was in fact she wanted and why she was hanging around and being such a tyrant. After much talk and negotiation it feels like old mean lauren has lovingly let go of the strangle hold and is willing to transform.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Fermented Raw

Here's something I started doing this week, and it might work for you too. I'm enjoying it!

I took a large tupperware container and put in a dressing: a good amount of everything because this is a marinade
balsamic vinegar
olive oil
salt and pepper and (I'm back) cayenne pepper
chopped garlic
chopped fresh basil

Then I've added all sorts of chopped fresh vegetables
a container of fresh chopped mushrooms
a whole bag of shelled edamame
1 chopped onion
1 chopped green pepper
and a package of extra firm tofu, cubed

Then I started adding any leftover cooked vegetables each night.
steamed broccoli one night
steamed carrots another
leftover steamed assorted asian vegetables (water chestnuts, bamboo shoots, pea pods string carrots etc)
Whatever I had, I added.

Each night, I've stirred and turned it and then added more stuff and eaten some.
It's gotten better with age!

Try this! It's good cold, or pull it out and eat it at room temperature. I've added more cayenne as I've gone along btw.

Monday, May 19, 2008

mindful/conscious movement

So i think its really important that whatever we do next have some physical component too, some mindful/conscious movement. I have been very conveniently avoiding it and fighting it for some time now or dabbling even though this is what i have clearly clearly heard. Even if we are dancing or stretching or walking or swimming or tending garden together or individually whatever it is i think we can help support each other in remembering that physical flow is as important as mental emotional etc and is so complimentary. Ive been hearing now in the past few weeks about so many people who have survived serious accidents literally because they were in such good physical condition. Im all ears Im listening Im back to really noticing and acknowledging what Im getting.

Ive been making my own juices again instead of going out to get them which feels amazing. Ive been focusing on efficient eating, eating just what i really feel is most nourishing in terms of quality and quantity. These past few months Ive felt sick nearly every time I eat and I havent had an appetite really and im just eating to eat. That doesnt feel good I havent felt satisfied and I know better. How many times do I just eat something because Im out with friends or because i dont know what else to do. Its a time filler for me sometimes and I really dont enjoy that feeling. So I have been eating just what my body wants and when Im not hungry or dont know what i want I have a juice or drink lemon water. Im not going to starve - and in fact the things i was eating werent even giving me anything really nutritionally and felt crippling and lethargy inducing.Ive been so bored of hearing myself complain about food to myself and others. I also listened about my bodies needs for supplements and have been taking hematic response (iron vit c folic acid etc) multi vit D and a multi vit E all derived from organic whole foods. I really feel so much better listening instead of being frustrated and pissed off and hard on myself and wondering why im not feeling ok.

Im consciously receiving nourishment.

It seems like we are all here together which is so nice! Im so excited to explore whatever comes next with you guys!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Stolen Innocence

I just finished reading the book 'Stolen Innocence' by Elissa Wall about growing up in a polygamous sect and her subsequent lawsuit against Warren Jeffs. This book absolutely shook me to the core. Since I was a teenager I remember the family talking about my father's second cousin, Corky Wall, and his conversion to the FLDS religion. Elissa is Corky's 11th child from his second wife. I was floored to see Corky's picture plastered in the book - the same man we saw at various family reunions, the same man who spoke a prayer at my mother's funeral. Even though reading the book seemed to be a complete invasion of his privacy, I continued on, opening doors into a lifestyle that I never fathomed existed - oh, how sheltered I am.

I've always had the belief that people should let others worship as they desired, and I was even a little incensed when I saw the FLDS children taken from their parents in Texas. After reading this book, my mind has shifted. Reading about the absolute control by the religion's patriarchs over all it's members, but in particular the women who are viewed as property and the oppressive rules and regulations they're forced to keep makes me relieved to see these Texas children being uprooted.

I am so proud of Elissa for overcoming her fears and I've learned valuable lessons from this courageous 21-year-old girl. Do you think she may be a Shaman at heart?

Caught up with the blog

I've finally caught up with the blog after having my laptop on the fritz for the last month. Twenty minutes between refreshing screens is beyond my patience limit, especially when it comes to technology. I can read my e-mail at work, but blogs are definitely off-limits.

Lauren, glad to hear you'll be in town for a while. Also happy to see you're famous by being quoted (even though erroneously) in the NY Times. Interesting that every time I actually know something about a story that's been published in the news, it's always misquoted. Makes you wonder if anything you read is actually legitimate.

Joy, I work with a man who belongs to the Bahai'i faith. I've also been attracted to the tents of the religion since he gave me a book of prayers four years ago. I've just never taken the time to study the religion.

Everyone, I've been thinking about going more raw, and today is just as good as any to start, especially now that we're into the fruits and vegetables season.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Lauren said it best: "I keep hearing 'you can have it easy or you can have it hard'"
Me too. I have for awhile now, and when I relax I realize that things are lined up in much better order than I can imagine.

Take this trip for instance:
At the last minute all the plans changed: and yet, the pieces were lined up BETTER than I could have hoped for. I booked the hotel back in Feb-and the dates matched with our flying-NOT with driving. DId I know that already?
The flights end up matching the arrival and departure of other family coming in-much better flow than driving.

I find myself constantly saying "Hmmm. Just look at that!"

I turn down a 'wrong' street, I get where I am going faster.
I miss an exit and take another way, and again, I happen to miss an accident and delay.
I double book, and then someone cancels.

Are we in flow?
What would it take for you to be in flow?
Where might we be hanging on to outmoded 'control' issues and in need of a swift boot into trust and surrender.

What does 'being in control' really mean? Does it mean that we think we can do a better job than 'someone' else?
Practice letting go-for one day.
Let go of details. Take off your watch. Breathe. And flow.
Do you believe that the world will fall apart? How old are you when you believe that?

Sista Support

I can't do this alone-I get it! I've got to find my way back to raw but I need my buddies. I can't start until Sunday when we get back, but can we set it up for then? Really? Make a commitment again, all of us together?

Jac, congratulations on supporting your candida process. Good for you. Oh wait. That doesn't sound sincere even to me. GOOD FO YOU! Yahoo! That feels better. I do mean it. GOOD for you. GOOD GOOD GOOD>ok now I'm feeling just a tad envious.

I've got to say that I've not been as good! I've noticed food demons that I thought I had LONG AGO slain. I haven't felt the urge for a donut or cinnamon roll for years. Probably not since we all went to Sedona and had Krispy Kreme key lime pie donuts-remember?

Well I think I might have knocked down a little kid for one this past week! DONUT thief tu jour! But I didn't. I let that little tyke HAVE their stupid donut.

Instead, Jon obligingly came home from work with a tray FULL of cinnamon rolls. Now, they've sat innocently neutral in my kitchen lots of times-and I have NEVER felt much urge. Chips, yes, that sort of sugar, nah. I will reach for a cookie, but not something like that.

Well can we just say that I succumbed to the wily ways of the sugar demon and leave it at that? I need a redo on the candida process from you-we musta missed something and stirred something up=it's fierce now!

What IS this thing living in my gut? Get it OUT! EW candida on the rampage...

Tuesday, May 13, 2008



Felt great on raw...
fell off raw...feeling aw...nuts...

Pulled myself back up onto raw...
felt good...
fell off raw...feeling aw...nuts...

Slap myself back onto raw...
not back long enough to feel anything...
fell off with a thud and a bounce and a jiggle...

I'm going to

Is this roll around my middle menopause? I weigh the same but it's shifting UP. That's just not fair. I protest. I'm turning into my mother!

I realized the other day that my grandparents used to do what they called 'bickering'. Not fighting, just not talking nice to each other...we do that...

oh my GAWD I'm my grandparents! I'm retroing...high speed in reverse...someone find the brakes before I end up speaking Greek, wearing black, and shooting Nazis on the front lawn.

Monday, May 12, 2008


so heres the article from this sundays new york times -
im interviewed on page 2

by the way being officially quoted is a weird thing - i never said any of those sentences.
i said some of those things but they were definitely not said like that heehee.
(and oh just call me laura from now on...)

my realtors already called and said he has people wanting to see it.

again i keep hearing you can have anything you want so what do you want?

Vitamin K

I've been curious about Vitamin K. It's good for our blood, and we get lots of it from leafy greens, so we should be better off when we drink our green juice. It's good for our blood, but bad if you are ON blood thinners-multiple warnings to T about this.

Yet in the past whenever I start green juice fast, it triggers heavy flooding. Why is that? It makes me LESS likely to clot obviously...doesn't that mean it DOES the same thing as the cumadin?

But they say K helps WITH coagulation-does that make sense? Not to me! What is it? More research needed obviously.

K is produced in the intestines- and yogurt helps...I've been craving yogurt which is unusual for me. Anyone else?
K is a fat soluble vitamin.
K is essential for synthesizing the liver protein that controls clotting.
K is involved in bone formation and repair!
K assists in the glucose/glycogen conversion.

And to absorb K, you need fats in your diet.
It's destroyed by excessive sugar, antibiotics, high doses of E and calcium (interesting!) and mineral oils.

If you bruise easily you might be low in K.
K is also found in cheese, coffee, bacon, asparagus and leafy greens-spinach and celery.

So if you've been off your green juice, and finding yourself craving cheese, you might be low in K.
If you notice bruises that you aren't sure about, you might be low in K.
If you worry about your bones-add more leafy greens.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I'm still Intrigued by the Bahá'í Faith

This is a documentary on the Bahá'í Faith. I'm still intrigued. We do actually have a center in SLC!
Baha=light and "i" means follower. "The follower of the light." Nice.

You know, ultimately, what is the truth? And isn't it all really a personal quest, and so a personal answer?
Revelations that come through in dreams-knowledge of all that is-being a message from one to others-
progressive revelation...wouldn't we all, do so, if we really believe?

All religions are tied together like chapters in a book,
that reinforce the previous prophets and brings new social teachings for our time. That religion is an evolving concept.

Well, that makes perfect sense to me. It continues! It grows-doesn't everything? Of course. So why shouldn't religion?
Why shouldn't we update our way of connecting, our way of believing, our concept of God? Mother>>Father>>God>>Creator>>All That Is>>
What if that really is a course of expansion in our opening to the Universal power?

All powerful, all loving, all knowing, all seeing, all hearing, the prayer hearing God, many titles...
you who are known by a thousand names and you who are the nameless ONE.
All the same God.

Truth is one point. And from that truth...everything evolves. Why do we try so hard to keep things the 'same'?
Everything changes, moves, evolves.

A world government. A world united. What a concept. A joining of hands. Beyond any one religion and into a joining of them all.
I've talked about how we are in a time of a great re-weaving...many threads with unique colors creating a new pattern....something that hasn't been seen before.

How do we reach for that something that is bigger than we are unless we join? Spiritual growth is an individual responsibility.
And they have no clergy! 9 member bodies in areas. An international body that serves for 5 years.

Ultimately-I like the idea of a spiritual council that embraces all faiths and emphasizes personal development...Something new to ruminate on! I wonder if it's true? Nice ideas though. Anyone know more?

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Get this!

According to MEN'S HEALTH
and a new little italian study of 163 ( who comes up with those numbers?) Italian Women
those that regularly eat chocolate reported enhanced sex drive and sexual satisfaction.

ALL because of the beatcha!

Things we should be eating

So here's your daily diet-
coffee (good for your brain)
and grapefruit (good for your lungs) for breakfast
with whole grain cereal (good for your breasts)

White Tea (good for your colon) for lunch
with shrimp (good for your bones) spinach and romaine salad (good for your vision) and olive oil (good for your cholesterol) with shredded carrots (good for your skin)

surf and turf
steak (good for your hair)
and garlic rubbed ( good for your prostate) salmon ( good for your heart)
baked potato ( good for your blood pressure)
and a glass of good pinot noir (good for anti-aging)

with raspberries (good blood sugar stabilizer)
and cheese (good for your teeth) for dessert

this is the end all according to MENSHEALTH

And get this little tidbit: SWU discovered that female rats wanted more sex after a shot of caffeine. LOL
Can you just imagine the little gals now? An expresso then a cigarette after...what our research dollars at work have discovered!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

World Peace

Women Peacemakers

I was reading up on Marko Rodin's amazing mathematical universe and the development of the systemic unification of black hole space and so so much more and he mentioned that he was a Bahá'í. I thought, "hmmm, what is that?" and in looking it up, am intrigued!

Here is a painting-from Sima Baher-in Uruguay! Land of my husband's family. Coincidence? It's about the role of women in world peace!

Then I see a Bahá'í school in the Andes mountains!
Who are they?
They number 5,000,000
2,112 ethnic and tribal groups
live in over 116,000 localities in 188 independent countries
and 45 dependent territories or overseas departments.
Haifa Israel is the international center and seat of its world-governing council,
known as the Universal House of Justice.

I'm rewriting from their website of course. take a look.
they have a commitment to a global program for moral, spiritual and social progress, promoting equality of women and men (interesting that they put 'her' first).

They search for scientific and religious truth.
World peace and the establishment of a united global commonwealth are distinguishing concerns.

"Women and men have been and will always be equal in the sight of God," said Bahá'u'lláh.

Interesting that 200 people have been killed in Iran for being Bahá'í since 1979.
How long has it been around? 150 years!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

intuitive eating and letting it be easy

im in on the intuitive eating front feeling so much better since ive been listening again - and i really feel that part about trying to not be happy or let it be too easy - joy you said that to me the other day when we had our session and that has been HUGE for me - HUGE. thank you again for that.

really i mean ive been making it hard on purpose so others including myself dont think ive got it easy or gotten it for free or without working and suffering for it like the more ive suffered the more valuable it has been...its all been somehow 'more' worth it. i think if some things have come easy theres almost a guilt attached with it. but also ive seemed to think the easy way must be a trick.

ive worked on this a lot but its shifting so much right now and its like ive had a giant breakthrough on this. since that comment that day joy ive been like 'wait a second - what else have i been making incredibly hard for myself?' surprise surprise it was nearly everything. heehee. and why am i not trusting the easy clear way?

ive always seen the easy path as the trick and the hard path as the way. its like indiana jones you can take this near death experience way with broken log ladder to get across that takes a mile over a canyon filled with man eating sharks or you can take this nice road thats beautiful scenic and is planted with wild flowers. id think wait a second it cant be that simple can it? it must be a trap. so id take the hard way end up beaten to hell. im tired of that story. really tired of it.

i keep hearing this phrase 'you can have it easy or you can have it hard either way your getting off at the same stop'

On the Raw Again

I proposed to Jac that we do raw while in Colorado last week.
Which we did.
It's been a bit more than a week now-10 days or something. I feel so much better partaking of the live food that it's inexplicable, and even though I indulged in a cookie yesterday, I didn't crash.

While I took the juicer, we never made any. Why is that? I will say I did it last time too, no juice until the second month.
So, if anyone else would like to get going again, join us!

I was a bit bummed that I hadn't lost any weight, and then this morning I measured my waist and it was down an inch and a half. That means something to me. And last night I did exercise-enough that I was sore this morning. Tony said " What are you doing?" because I was standing behind the chair and doing bends and stuff. I thought of all the times I have believed I had to wait until he was gone, or I was alone, and last night I just did it.

I can't speak for Jac, but I am sticking to the raw. I did have some tofu one day, but mostly it's raw and back to the fermenting, chopping, soaking, and loving it.

I've had several revelations too along the way, one being that I thought I always waited to do what I want...trying to make others happy first.

Since I've been accused of only doing what I want to do, I thought this so odd that in my version I'm NOT doing what I want! LOL All the things I've NOT done so as not to appear too happy...LOL

So, might as well DO IT since no one is happy ANYWAY! This is hilarious, and beyond imagination. DO you understand the backwards logic? It's crazy making, as well as remorse and resentment making!

Intuitive eating...isn't that what we should all be doing Lauren? Isn't that what it's all about? Yes!

Today was beautiful and it was back into the garden for me-which is almost out from under the snow. Yes, we still have a few piles of frozen white stuff here and there, but otherwise, I have green!