Thursday, December 27, 2007


If you haven't had BABA GHANOUSH, which is an Indian Eggplant dip, then I suggest you try it the next time you have the oven on roast, and you have an extra eggplant laying around and don't know what to do with it, which is how I came upon this. Big hit by the way! Great as a sidedish, great with drinks after (hah) skiing, or a brisk walk in the snow (better).

I lg eggplant
2-3 cloves garlic
2 tbs tahini
juice of half a lemon
pinch cayenne
pinch salt and pepper
parsley, chopped.

I peeled the eggplant, rubbed it in olive oil and wrapped it in foil and put it in the oven on broil as I was cooking other things.
Cook, slice in strips and put in food processor with the rest of the ingredients and whip it up until it is a smooth puree.
Serve with greek pita bread that has been warmed in the oven a bit.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Kite Runner

This looks amazing. It was a great book too.

Thursday, December 20, 2007


I've been craving basil lately. Fresh. Buying big containers of it. Putting it in my green juice, and cooking everything with it. It smells divine when you chop it. So I was curious what it might be about BASIL...

Basil contains FOLIC ACID-which is a B vitamin. Also it's a good source of potassium, and iron and calcium. Good for the respiratory system. It aids in digestion too as it helps the body produce saliva. Basil is also a good source of Vitamin A.

I was just updating the list on nutrients, and was noticing that I was probably low in Vit A as my eyes have been dry and I don't seem to be seeing as well, especially at night, and low in potassium and magnesium as my 'restless or jumpy' legs had started up again.

Raw-ish Fresh Rollups

Ok, this is my new favorite.
Llightly saute/simmered in some real butter:
1/2 an onion-chopped
1/2 red pepper-chopped
1/2 zucchini-chopped
chopped garlic to taste
4 fresh basil leaves-chopped
when veges are softish, break 3 eggs in, and scramble
*you definitely could use tofu here, and I'm going to try it tomorrow. I didn't have any on hand or I would have done it today.

In the meantime I took the cast-iron skillet and cooked up 3 raw tortillas. If you haven't tried raw tortillas, do. No fat, just cook on the heat of the skillet. They puff up like they are alive! They all like them though-and they are a great alternative to bread.

Then when the eggs are done, fill the tortilla, top with crumbled feta, and some fresh avocado chunks and roll up burrito style.

Wow is this a good snowy afternoon lunch! Have with some fresh orange slices and pomegranate seeds for a great looking and tasting plate!

Ok ok so it's not raw-it is fresh and homemade. And healthy. And good for you.

Raw Pasta Dressing

5 Large Roma tomatoes, cut in quarters or smaller, you want bite size pieces
10 fresh basil leaves, chopped
fresh chopped garlic
a handful or two of pinenuts
1/4 of a red onion, chopped fine
toss it all in olive oil
let it sit while you cook the pasta of your choice. I did petite raviolis, fresh!

Drain the pasta and toss into the room temp dressing, top with grated parmesan cheese.
It was yummy!

You could add some baby spinach at the last minute and let the hot pasta wilt it-that works too. Also Yum! Everyone had seconds.


That was bad! It took me 2 and a half hours to get from Foothill to Park City! Bumper to bumper, and mean spirited stupid people that were following too close and wouldn't let anyone in. LOTS of accidents, and they weren't just skidding out themselves, but taking 3-5 cars with them. Bad.

I kept blessing the road and commanding safe passage for everyone-and then we crawled to about 2 mph. We crawled up and over Parley' the end I think that was the blessing because everyone HAD to slow down. Semi's had mandatory chains, but many didn't do it and they were off the road too. NO snowplows...

I am so glad you are all snug at home-stay there is my advice. I cancelled class when I came in and then turned around and went back. I couldn't ask anyone to come out in it.

But! I made some great recipes the last few days...
oven roasted vegetables drizzled in olive oil and hot spices. Cauliflower, and green beans, and asparagus
Adding the extra oils has really made that dry feeling go away. Remember we were talking about chapped lips, dry skin and hair? Try adding more oils to your diet. It's helped

Mediterranean Cuisine

Mediterranean means Italian, Greek, well really 14 countries border the Mediterranean...Portugal, Spain, Turkey, but exactly my genetic background and heritage! Whoa! What would happen if I actually let my body have what it's DNA is bread for?

Well, I'd have to address my fear of pasta and bread! That's been deeply instilled. But you know, a true Medi way of eating really is heavily based in fresh and raw veges and fruits, lots of omegas, and red wine! The percentage of grains is small, in relation to the abundance of fresh and cooked vegetables and fruits.


Maybe we want to research and attempt a NEW and DIFFERENT raw-ish this time? Anyone curious? What IS the Mediterranean Diet?
"Common to the traditional diets of these regions are a high consumption of fruit and vegetables, bread, wheat and other cereals, olive oil, fish, and red wine. The diet is often cited as beneficial for being low in saturated fat and high in monounsaturated fat and dietary fiber."

This would definitely take some belief adjustments. I totally believe that when add grains, I gain weight. It puts me straight into the weight watching category-something I've wanted to get away from. But there it is again.

Greeks and Italians eat lots of dates, figs, olives-cool,
Lot's of fish.
Lot's of olive oils vs. animal fat oils.

What about a Mediterranean raw-ish experiment this time? 1 cooked meal-evening-with grains? The two day meals primarily raw?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

ReInventing the Raw For 30 Experiment

Well girls, we are talking about renewing our "RAW FOR 30" experiment. This time we know we can. Let's really post what might get in our way, and work through it. I'm finding it harder to motivate myself EVEN THOUGH I know I feel better when I do it! This is the thing that mystifies me.

Why do we not do what serves us most?

Benefits of Turmeric

Remember when I kept dreaming about Turmeric?
Well, interestingly enough, a cure for folic acid anemia is yogurt (8 oz) mixed with a tsp of turmeric.

I've been updating and adding to the LISTS on the side: specifically the "symptoms" list and the "nutrients" list.

Benefits of Fish Oils for the Brain

Study Shows Fish Oils Can Transform the Behaviour of Disruptive Teenagers
(March 24, 2006)
Fish oils can transform the behaviour of disruptive teenagers, a study has revealed.Youngsters were calmer and better able to concentrate after taking daily supplements for three months.
They were also less impulsive and kinder towards their parents, according to the research, which provides the clearest evidence yet of the benefit children receive from fish oils.
The findings add to the evidence that improving children's nutritional intake can calm their behaviour and even boost brainpower.

The study involved 20 persistently disruptive 12 to 15 year olds at Greenfield Community Arts College, County Durham.
Nineteen were assessed as having moderate or severe attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Nineteen were also judged to have short attention spans while 18 were highly impulsive.
By the end of the 12-week trial, the number showing symptoms of moderate or severe ADHD had dropped to six, while only three were severely inattentive and only six highly impulsive.
The supplements were a blend of Omega 3 and Omega 6.

Dr Madeleine Portwood, Durham County Council's senior educational psychologist and lead researcher on the trials, described the results as "stunning".
She said: "These trials were undertaken with a group of potentially vulnerable students with persistent behavioural difficulties and who were at risk of exclusion.
"By taking the fatty acid supplement, those aspects of their behaviour which put them at risk of exclusion improved dramatically."

An earlier trial led by Dr Portwood studied 65 children aged 18 to 30 months.
They were selected for the research from Government funded Sure Start children's centres due to their "challenging behaviour" and problems with attention and concentration.
At the start of the research, almost half of the children were rated as having 'poor' or 'very poor' behaviour.
But after receiving supplements, nine out of ten of these youngsters had improved to moderate or good ratings.
Sixty-six per cent of children at the beginning of the trial had 'poor' or 'very poor' concentration levels but all improved to moderate or good after five months.

The latest findings emerged amid a scientific row over the extent of the health-giving properties of oily fish.
Mackerel, tuna, herring and other fish rich in omega-3 fatty acids have been thought to reduce the risk of heart disease, strokes and some cancers.
But University of East Anglia researchers analysed 89 studies on the subject and found little evidence to back claims of reduced death rates.
Dr Portwood said last night: "The studies looked at the effect on the blood but we are actually looking at how the brain is working."

Provided by Organic Consumers Association on 4/5/2006
Published on Wednesday, April 05, 2006
by Healthy News Service

Monday, December 17, 2007


"I believe they believe" is powerful work. We're only working on ourselves...and we are working on the energy BETWEEN us. When we clear ourselves of the hallucinations, when we 'grow up' and retrieve all those lost parts of ourselves, we have a new story!

When we change our perception/our belief/our view, we change the ROLE that we have cast the other person in.

I went through the same thing with Tony. I had cast him as the "unsupportive husband" and when I changed my beliefs and feelings, I quite literally rewrote his script and LO AND BEHOLD he was supportive! Shock! We were in a new play!

I found myself understanding how really wonderfully supportive Tony had been to me all these years! I wasn't reliving an old drama from my childhood, I was free to move into the adult relationship, AND he was free of having to hold that space until I got it. It was great, and a new perspective! I'm so pleased for you Jac. You have done it!

We're all just reflections of each other. When we clear ourselves, the reflection from others changes. Friendships shift, relationships, and as you've seen, masks change. Very cool!

We play for each other the part that THEY need us to be. Haven't you ever felt yourself acting or saying something and going "Wow, this isn't like ME at all?" It COULD BE because you are playing a part in THEIR play!

From Kathy

thought I would post this pic that Kathy sent-it's gorgeous! Mt Shasta, what a beauty!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Beautiful Fire

There's nothing quite like fire for a shaman, is there? Cleansing, releasing, changing, healing. Last night's fire was no exception at all. It was spectacular! I couldn't wait to get into that fire that was sweet and gentle and such bliss! NONE of us could keep our hands out of it, could we? Gentleness itself. Not a word one would usually associate with FIRE. But there you have it.

Shamans come into balance with the elements, and girls, you are in balance with FIRE. Last night was amazing. Cold-but not. Hot-but not. Wasn't that fun??? CA-can't wait to see your pics.

Thanks one and all for the stupendous time outside and beyond time itself! Sleep well, be well, and what is next is for each of you to contemplate isn't it! What a good job of release and move on you all did, or the fire would have behaved quite differently. Well, you experienced that moment too, didn't you? Quite the contrast.

What is fire? It is passion, desire, it is change! Beliefs that map with a gentle fire-we invite, welcome, the changes that are coming.

Walking the Camino

The Celts walked it, heck, everyone seems to have or are walking the Camino de Santiago ;it's a pretty interesting and informative site.

According to the information, you don't have to be a hard-core walker as the trails are well maintained, with yellow arrows marking the way. Here are some photos of the lay of the land and what we could expect if we should decide to join Kathy on her high adventure. You know, this sounds like just the sort of thing we should plan.

I can't go end of May/June as Jon is graduating high school and I want to be here for all the goings on. Important. I was taking IA up in Idaho, when Neno was graduating, and I missed too much driving back and forth.

Another good site is Some thoughts on Your Camino which talks about carrying a good support backpack and about 18 pounds of stuff. The author (Mike) went in Spring-and loved it. Flowers and green. Sounds lovely. If you look further into the site, he's no young chick, so that heartens me that we can do it! :)

Those that have done it say you have to WALK to really experience the magic. I think you've made the right decision.

Hair Trauma

I remember back in the day being so frustrated with NOT getting through to hair people, I decided I just didn't know the right language. I spent an hour or more at a salon and asked the women the right terms for all the different cuts and effects so that I could actually ask for what I wanted..language. I wrote up a little 'hair dictionary' so that the boys could go in and ask for what they wanted.

If you don't have the right word, they create a whole different image in THEIR head than in yours. But isn't that what happens with everything? What's inside 'my' box, and what's inside 'your' box are different. Hence-missed understandings!

It helped a bit. Pictures help more. I always take a picture with me now. There are some great on-line sites with lots of images. I found that looking at the pictures helped ME know what I wanted to. I realized I would often go in without a well-formed idea myself. No wonder I wasn't satisfied...unclear manifesting.

A picture is worth a thousand words... and the person that said that was RIGHT ON! is a good one.

Pro haircut is another I like.

Anyway CA-I LIKED your hair and the color!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Quiet out there...

Is everybody out Christmas shopping or what? It's awfully quiet...

Saturday, December 8, 2007

We all have our fantasies...

I'm so much cooler on line

This is cute! I didn't know who Brad Paisley was cuz I don't usually do country-but I do now! This is well done!

Gemma Jams!

GEMMA MILLION VOICE CHOIR Then click on "view the million voice choir video" in the lower right.

Ok, gotta brag a bit about a woman doing amazing things! You've heard me play the song in class, and she made this video of her experiences. This is the link to her new website, which has the video.

And these are a few of the things she has accomplished this year!

In less than a year, A Single Drop for SafeWater (ASDSW) Philippines has trained over 300 people in affordable water treatment technologies! As a result, over 16,000 people have safe water, sixteen projects have been launched of which eight are income generating organizations..

They won the Echoing Green Fellowship honoring their work as Social Entreprenuers with innovative ideas for social
change! (oh, and she learned what a social entreprenuer was!)

ASD is working with the Girls Scouts to develop an A Single Drop H2onor H2o Patch program in conjunction with an event to honor the women and girls who have to walk far distances just to acquire water for their families! So far, ASD will host an event at Lake Harriet in Minneapolis, MN, Women’s Earth Alliance in San Francisco, and another event will be in Tennessee!


She is living on a remote island in the Philippines called Palawan. She writes in her Christmas letter: "As I write this, I'm sitting in my little nipa hut where I take bucket showers, get my water from a well or rainwater harvesting, have brownouts regurlary at least 3-4 times a week (everyday during typhoon season), clean my contaminated water through a filter I helped build
(and teach others how to build) and live 10 steps away from my office where we have a staff of 8 Philippine Nationals."

AND she has a new CD. I love the song-BRIDGES, which you can click and hear a bit if you follow the links.


Friday, December 7, 2007

Want to know what happened to Paul Potts?

This has gotten almost 6 million hits!!! WOW! Talk about coming out in a big way. Such talent. Doesn't he look different cleaned up and in a bow tie?! He got to perform for the QUEEN! Life changing moments eh?!

The Opera Singing Mobile Phone Salesman

Watch this first-Look at him, and know that you are totally underestimating what is inside...and that that is what we ALL do to each other and ourselves every day...

"a little lump of coal that's really a diamond..." oh man...what a life changing moment. And all because he faced his fear. THIS is what we all dream of, don't you think? Brought tears to my eyes. Oh but EVERYTHING Is bringing tears to my eyes these days, don't go by me. Click on this link


and be surprised, delighted and wowed.

Face our fears, and own up to what we know we are here to do.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007


ok-this was just fun to see the good guys win I had to post it! I feel better already! Did I say this was a banned NIKE commercial? Maybe I should have...

And Another One!

This made me laugh outloud-which I really needed! :)

A Sense of Humor

Thought this might lighten things up a bit!

Song of the Sun

Too bad we don't all speak the same language huh? I thought this was beautiful.

Into the Wild

Anyone seen this movie yet? INTO THE WILD. Oh wow. Be prepared. But then, it might not effect you the way it has me.

It has broken my heart!
While surprised, I'm also perplexed. Have I just over identified with the characters?
The parents. The sister.
The young man himself.
The people along the way that he meets, and changes, and leaves.
It it just that I have a son the same age? Facing the same time in his life? Nah. It's deeper.

Why is it that we so stubbornly hold to our story/wound until the very end? We seem to get it in those last moments. And then what? SO WHAT. We are dead. "Oh! Got it!" With our last breath. Why are we so freaking stubborn?

It's about a strong willed young man, who makes his mind up, and sets out on a grand adventure. I wanted a happy ending. I always want a happy ending. Damn it, I believe in happy endings. 

Hand me the cosmic red pen! But it was his story, and his choice, and all we can do is witness. Sometimes...I hate the place of witness. 

I wrote a story years and years and years ago when I was about eighteen, about an old man that was a 'watcher'. His sole purpose was to witness everything that happened outside his window for the cosmic plan,  and never under any circumstances get involved or change anything.

And then one day, he gets involved...and oh the mess that he makes of  things.

But sometimes, it's so hard to leave people to their pride and arrogant rightness that they are wounded or hurt beyond repair, or sick. I watched the movie, and saw so many young men and women that I know on that screen, and realized that they all are walking into their own Alaskan wilderness.

And we are left wondering and waiting and witnessing. Stupid position to be in isn't it? Shit. I don't think I much like the God-place, leaving people their free-will.

We get beautiful young people killing themselves with shotguns, and handguns-(not the movie)
We get beautiful young people drinking and drugging themselves into heaps of misery-(not the movie)
We get beautiful young people that die before they have even lived their life. Died before they understand that this life, this magnificent choice we came here to live, is about FEELING! It's about CONNECTING, and TOUCHING, and BEING TOUCHED. It's about being ALIVE. It's about choice. 

Why do we so insist on being miserable sometimes, and how do we wake them up? How do we do that for anyone? Shit. We can't! That's the heartbreak.

Christmas Party

Joy the 15th works great for me for the Christmas party at your house. It will be so fun to see the new remodel done. Are we going to do the everyone bring one present to exchange? Should we bring food?

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Last Night

I had an almost disturbing dream last night. Intense might be a better word.

There was this school, and there were tons of kids everywhere. I was standing at a counter in a lobby of sorts. Like the office? Kids of all ages everywhere. 

But one little guy had these most amazing eyes-bore right through me. Intense. He was little-maybe 2? Head was shaved close. His eyes were like a wolf's would be-rimmed iris's with lighter centers-he was staring into space though. Not at me, but right through me. Like I was there, and not, and he could sense me but not see me. 

In the dream I thought "Don't go yet! We're coming. I can help you!" He felt like a "they" were going to kill him. I was feeling almost desperate to get 'something' so that he wouldn't be turned off. That "turned off" thing was a feeling, like he was going to be euthanized almost. Like somehow he wasn't important or didn't matter, and I wanted to let him know he was.

There were thousands of kids there, but this little one riveted me in the dream. It left me a bit ruffled, shall we say? One of Lauren's "feral kids" I'm sure. But it felt like he didn't have much time. I can still see him staring at me, but not at me. As if he is looking for me but can't see me there yet. 

Maybe I'm not there yet? We are all dancing in the future already, aren't we.


Stands remembering from time to time, don't you think? You are creative beings.

Remember what it is you are creating. Take responsibility. Fly!

Friday, November 30, 2007


We are becoming the Homospiritus

We are the way show-ers
We are the light
We are heaven touching earth.
Our vibration is rising and we are being transformed.
We are becoming in each moment more profoundly divine.

Joy's Vision

Habakkuk 2:1-3.....Write down the Vision clearly upon the tablets, so that one can read it readily. For the vision still has its time, presses on to fulfillment,and will not disappoint; if it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late.

How many times have I referred to this, one of my favorites.......

Joy asked, what was the lake for you? Was it were you where or were you where going. I answered, it was Buckhorn, the place I was going but that wasn't it at all. The lake was the false belief, not a place at all. The fresh water lake, the sea bird was trapped in was the illusion. And so the bird was free to fly after my rescue, but the hook was still in it's side and I was still hooked as I marched on to the hills of eastern Ky after graduate school. Was it God's will, no I don' t think so at all. Except that a part of me really wanted to go there. That retreat was my first step into understanding, it is not about God calling you to sacrifice yourself. This is not a part of the new paradigm. What ever brings us Joy, well that is what we are called to.....I think it's a wonderful built in monitor/compass.

Jesus and the dove. Well without further exploration it seems very plain to me. The time is now. We are ready for the next steps. We have been working and learning and dreaming for this very point in time and now we can fly. We are not trapped and the timing is perfect. However, why are we still perched there. I don't think it is fear, maybe it is wisdom. We are one with the Christ energy and now we don't need to fly away. We are free to fly, we are free to take the next step. What is the next step? Well, maybe just simply taking one step at a time and staying out of the way so the perfection of divine love manifests itself in all that we do.

For me it is about seeing the vision clearly and writing it down. For me this is the next step and anything that will support that.......I'm all over it. So working with the 6th chakra/stepping into the east.... Well it just sounds perfect to me.

We are free, we are ready, we are in the flow/connected resting on the hand of our connection to the All in All. We are sitting freely in communion with the sacred.

I don't want to dredge up old wounds anymore. It's time be here now BE HERE NOW! Take flight, YES! Rest in connection with God/Spirit/ Divinity expressed as humanity..... YES! Step into our power for our good and the good of all.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Gorgeous NYC sunset

I walked into my apt this evening and my floors were glowing - I ran up to my roof and took these...For some strange reason I labeled the pictures nov 29, 2008...ok come back to this year lauren....heeehee enjoy.

you get out what you put in...

Ive been thinking a lot about this today. Ive been putting in a lot of half-assed all around because I havent been quite sure of much. It hit me though literally a few hours ago that regardless of outcome it is still a choice to give it all you got, even if in the end it gets sold (as in the apartment), changes (as in the job/project), leaves (as in the man), or ends (as in the relationship a day or a life). What is the point if you are not in all the way despite what happens down the road. This fear of commitment thing has really been such an illusion...I had it at times (or for things that werent 100%) that I shouldnt give it my all because Im not sure...what crap! With my apartment renovation I ordered some gorgeous cork flooring samples - just in case. They arrived today, and I was like why oh why did I beg the super to cheap it out just to get it over with. Literally a few dollars more a little more love and energy and it goes from generic and cold to insanely beautiful and glowing and more importantly something that I feel good about - even if in the end I get rid of the place...

ive had linked not commit if not 100% sure --- what the hell is guaranteed? nothing! the only thing guaranteed is how much i decide to put in, to give, to love...yipee!

Such a huge lesson that sunk into my body today. Its been connected across all things this week, relationship, job, apt, self....It really is about putting in everything and loving it and being proud and not walking away with regrets or feeling like you didnt give it everything you got. I mean Ive known this at times intellectually and have done it but I GOT it today. Duh something my dad used to drill in my head...anyway right again dad. Heres to slow learners...heehee....

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Rainbow Family for Peace

This is a group that has met annually since 1972 to pray and gather for peace. I've not heard of them before-have you?

Anyone ever hear of them? Reminds me of the 70s...who knew?

Here's the gathering in 2006-looks like a bunch of holligans that the police have to worry about-hah!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Class Tomorrow

We WILL be having our last class tomorrow night, 6pm
Be there or be square.
And great news-Kathy says she can make it.

Having cleared the 5th chakra, are you ready for the 6th?

Monday, November 26, 2007

Safe Landing

So I am back home...well in NY which I guess is home because I am here and home is wherever I am! I was so sad this time leaving Salt Lake - I had some emotional allergies come up the day before I left (thanksgiving -triggered by a cat) then went to Omars for raw Thanksgiving which was wonderful...There was such a variety of food it was insane! Ive been trying to get back on to all raw for months now - its been hard. Ive still been juicing which is good but I have been eating strangely in spurts - and cheese! I have to be done with that, it is not i repeat NOT feeling good to eat. Funny all the old vices have come up over this year the alcohol cigarettes which both have cleared now but the food came back around the past few months and now coffee is back?? I havent had coffee like this in I dont even know how long...But as each thing has come up Ive enjoyed it until it seems Ive had my fill then I let it go....As for food though Im not being to hard on myself, I just know how I feel and how much better I feel when eating living foods...I did however give up fish for a few months with 1 fish day that left me feeling icky - and that feels good to drop actually especially the sushi - havent had it in months and have no craving whatsoever for it. Eggs have come back in which may be on the way out as they just also are not feeling great in my system right now.

As for work - I did so much in Salt Lake, I realize how healing it is for me to be there...Its like leaving for the countryside to get some fresh air and recoop. Things have been happening so quickly here and Im just stepping out of the way...I felt so amazing yesterday riding the high of Salt Lake and all that I learned and today I feel a bit crappy but only because of food choice last night. Its just been so intense and quick - I feel like I have to be really clear and open because so much is coming ---- man theyve got better service there or something because I place an order and theres no wait time...heehee or maybe Ive gotten more clear... who knows. Im just remaining open to it all and trying my best to stay out of my head.

I went to my 10 year reunion Saturday night...How incredibly bizarre, but an interesting marker of a decade.

I had such a great time at Bo's I just wish I couldve seen you guys more but will have to be another time!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Great new dip~

Ok, so here is a really strange but tasty combination:

Pomegranate seeds and dorito chips. Those ones that look like little mini tortilla bowls? Fill the chip with pomegranate seeds...

Try it!  The salt and sweet...yum! I know...I'm pushing the ish in the raw, but every bit helps.

Pomegranate: it's a shrub...a small tree...and it was cultivated by the Egyptians! We should grow them here-they do NOT do well in humidity, and they can tolerate quite cold winters. Maybe not PC cold, but SLC cold for sure.

Let's go to St  George and open a pomegranate farm. Lauren?! :)


I was just reading how we are all feeling a bit like we are off and want back on the raw wagon...
Shall we set a date for our raw-ish-renewal-revival and do it officially together again? For fun and cleansing?

Dec 15 maybe? A bit before the next blast of holiday party-time.
Jac and I get back the 4th. I could go for it anytime after that...of course without making it a goal or an aspiration... ;)


My mind keeps wandering back to the last Shaman class in which I stated "I have no aspirations." My life has been a continual march of aspirations, goals, fighting for the satisfaction of completion ---only to march forward with the next aspiration, goal, and completion. Each of these marches came with sacrifice and pain, and a lot of 'if only's.' If only I had time to read that book instead of having to study for that test; if only I could take a trip instead of having to immerse myself in that project at work; if only, if only. A couple of days ago I had a revelation. No aspirations and no goals means freedom. Without the drive to finish and to compete with myself, I feel free --- absolutely, totally free. I'm now free to create --- to live. Now we'll see what comes.


We're talking about taking the kiddies to the IMAX and to DISCOVERY MUSEUM...and oh man...they are both in Gateway. The thought of the crowds of Holiday people makes me want to hide out in PC.

Am I becoming anti-social?
Nah. I've never liked the big crowds of people crushing in and out of stores...
and really not into them this time of  year! We walked Main street yesterday-and it was crowded too...enough.

So what did everyone else have for Turkey day?
Kale wasn't a hit huh? What was?

This ONE

Can't be sure but the color's look right. This bird was so big. This little guy looks smaller but the marking took like right.
Anyway, way cool. I love it too.

Here it is JAC

Just Kidding!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Birds of a feather

Okay Bo, here you go which one did you see....
I love the Woodpecker and Flickers, they love the suet feeders and nuts, we put them in the yard to attract them.
I love this energy....

Lines Like Steel

Dreams are still all over the place and feel like revelation. It may be time to keep a dream journal.

Last night in the dream I was being told by some higher source (?) that working with energy was real. The energy that came from our hands streams out "like lines of steel only thinner." Then I was shown the line coming from my palms. I assume what they meant was these energy lines are incredibly strong. As real as any steel beam that we see on the 3rd dimension, so "thin" they are without physical expression. It made sense, I woke up only long enough to process just what I have written here and then went back to sleep.

I know this is just not new news to any of you but I loved the touch in. Feel like I'm been in a void and separated from any communication from Spirit for a while. Just spinning in my own whirlwind of confusion and chaos.

Well Tess is looking at me with those big brown/gold eyes and so we are going for a hike.

Enjoy your weekend everyone.


When a Woodpecker totem enters your life:
indicates the foundation is there and it is safe to follow through.
Stimulate new rhythms.
The awakening of new mental faculties.

Listen to your body's rhythms and sounds and heed.
Sacred to Zeus GOD OF THUNDER
and Mars (Aires) GOD OF WAR

Shamans can ride the drumbeats of the Woodpecker's rhythm
into another dimension of space and time...

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving Feast a la RAW-ish

Last night I told T, "I want to have a Thanksgiving feast. I want courses, with salad, and soup, and make it last 4 hours like an Italiana dinner." happened.

It wasn't quite the way I had thought, but the Universe took me totally at my desire.
I cooked a 27 pound turkey, for 81/2 hours (and the underside was still undercooked).

We had Bo's spinach and pome/walnut salad-a hit BTW.

Then I had some cold raw side dishes that I had made as extras. Perfect for another course.
Marinated cucumbers with feta, beets in garlic, grapefruit, strawberries and bananas with coconut and dried blueberries, edamame salad with vidallia dressing...all hits. 

We had a leisurely salad course with french bread and a bottle of wine...turkey not done.
We had leisurely cold salads with french bread and another bottle of wine...turkey not done.

We finally had our main course, with lots of vege side dishes...I made roasted brussel sprouts with garlic, green beans with red peppers, corn and peanuts, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, something else...

Tony said "well this IS exactly what you said you wanted to do..." I smiled. It WAS what I had said, but I hadn't thought of it quite like this. Goes to show-we are getting what we say. 

It DID go well. EVeryone ate many more vegetables than they would have normally, I got some raw in them too and they all commented that it was so much better than the usual mad feed.

Left Brain Right Brain Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to you all, members of the butterfly/spider/seven sister's clan. I am happy to report that I can now shift easily from left brain to right brain and back on the Dancing Girl. I absolutely feel more balanced than I have in years. Thanks to you all for taking my logic-centered, computer brain (due to 20 years of work and schooling), and forcing me to recapture feeling, emotion, and creativity.

Lauren - I started work on my sacred room yesterday. I'll let you know how it works out.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Here's to a Happy Day of thanks to you all. I thank you for being who you are! I thank you all for being in my life, which is richer for having known you.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Maple Tree

I know this isn't a maple tree but it is such an ancient tree in Torrey. I looked up about the Maple Tree. It said Maple Wood can aid in success, wealth, prosperity, and money CA how perfect is that!!!!!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Hautun Kuntar

Condor Wings of Light...flying wing to wing into the future we are influencing. Hmmmm. What are we creating? Our heart's desire.
Should you decide to continue, let's move into the active side of understanding what it is to live on the active side of infinity! How's that for a mouthful?

Into the purple beyond! :)

Miracles of Acorns

A friend of mine once wondered at the DNA of an acorn. Holding it in her hand, she touched the incredible understanding of the power it held within it's tiny form. What seems so small and insignificant, with proper care and the right conditions grows into a miraculous life giving host replenishing the world and all the creatures that come to rest in her branches and under the shade of her canape.
I feel this coming now. I feel this incredible energy that is almost too much to contain and so at times feels like I may jump out of my skin. I want to name it and I can't. I want to see a vision of it, but I cannot. I can only feel it and it feels big, like this tree.
What you have held for us Joy all these years. What we have held for each other.... "the proper care the right conditions" have brought us to this place. It would seem to me that we are at Jackie's ledge and with the Wings of Catherine Ann's Angles we are about to fly. It feels like we are at this quantum point of break through. The acorns, which shed their skins and settled into the earth have under gone their magic. I liken it to Jack N the Bean Stalk. I feel the ground shaking beneath my feet..... "I don't have to know how...... I only know that I have it I am doing it That it is And I am.

Good to Remember

Lessons are the reminders of the good things to recall about where we have been, how we have changed, what we have learned.

Lessons are good. Reminders are good. Where we have been-all good. Where we are going-even better!

Last night was so sweet and fun.  The group grows, the memories grow, the good times and the reminders of where we have been and where we were when we started, made richer for knowing we have made progress!

You all have come so far, and you are all passing me, as it should be! I love to see you shine! It's funny, for the first time ever someone asked me what I see when I look at the class, when I look out at everyone.

Of  course, because someone asked the question, it meant I had an answer, and I realized all the things that I see when I look out. The part I love about this work is the privilege of seeing the changes. I get to see people walk in wounded, grey, gloomy, heavy, burdened, unsure, hurt. I get to see them lighten day by day and remember that life is supposed to be fun and gentle and easy, and that they can laugh again, and that they can pick up their magic and enjoy living.

Oh hey-enjoy ar.


Ive been avoiding them really for a while now. I thought I was actually in them maybe seeing a few people here or there but I felt in control in many ways maybe because I was surrendering into the lesson and moment. I knew we were learning and growing together and I didnt feel scared I would get lost or behave like old me that fearful hurt girl who acted out and behaved badly when she didnt get enough attention - -maybe because I didnt let myself access that old bitchy me. Anyway I have been exploring new feelings with someone new and I have to thank him really for bringing these issues up in me to clear. It the first time Ive allowed myself to go here and its a bit scary I have to say but also wonderful to know that it is still possible...something I thought I had lost, a part of me that I was simply just avoiding... I was kind of needy at times (to put it nicely) if I felt someone was pulling away Id pull away even if it was just because they had to do work or go spend time with friends...Its that co-dependent thing that happened so much in my past...Why didnt I feel like they would just like me for me? That they might just want to hang around longer than sex or a day? I would pull away and be controlled and pretend I didnt care that much even when I did because I assumed they would leave and I would be hurt so I did it all first.

The recent relationships have taught me to let go completely, that if you create safe space and respect each other you know you are learning with each other and regardless of if it lasts a moment or forever, you are surrendering constantly. It wasnt that hard for me in those relationships for some reason, maybe because I thought they were more temporary or timing or who knows...but this has me a little nervous feeling which is very good and exactly what I needed, to step into this place instead of avoiding it and hiding out or stepping out in 2 week spurts then leaving, remaining the one in control... I feel very out of control in this which is good for me and out of my comfort zone -I feel like I am in surrender mode and being asked in each moment to question my motivations and my thoughts and behaviors and am just watching as old patterns leave... the old ok get close then pull away so they dont think i like them too much - or the being cryptic about plans with other people so the person knows im valuable in the eyes of others....what childish shit...god i heard myself (more like watched from somewhere else) say something that completely embarrassed me....ugh...i thought what a dunce i am....thank god for lessons and do overs and edit buttons and pencil...

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Smiling Eyes are Watching Over You

This is a great shot. I didn't take it, but someone sent it to me today and I thought I would post it for you all.
This is when you look up and get that message-we love you! We are watching you! Get it?!

Thanks to all of you for being yourselves, for growing, moving, approaching, delving, embracing! It's been a great time and I am so glad to not have missed it! Just think if we hadn't, any of us, made those seemingly small choices back when...we wouldn't be here now.

I might have said no when the U invited me to teach the first time. Had CA and Romedy and Ray not encouraged me by wanting another class...had Heidi not come back with her three stones, if Lauren hadn't said "am I being too impulsive" and come out, if Pam hadn't decided to do some research for her book, if Kathy hadn't talked me into not cancelling  the PC class when we had just 3, if Jac and Michelle hadn't walked into the Four Winds office and ended up at my desk talking to me back then, if Bo hadn't been in pain and moved out from Kentucky, we might not have ever met, our paths might never have crossed, any of us.

You have to think that there is a plan don't you?

Thursday, November 15, 2007


I shouldn't be too bummed.
Tonight I got a notification that I've overpaid my taxes by a whopping $99. and I can write in for my refund.

Hey, money is money!
Bring on the zeros!


Funny, I was at Walmart downtown. I hate their parking lot. It's too small and too crowded, and dark. Always busy.
SO I'm in the truck-which is why I find it small there probably...

I'm backing out, and to my consternation, there is a white van with flashing yellow lights blocking my exit. It is completely in the aisle. Well, not completely I realize. To the right of the van is a car half pulled out. It is blue, and it is waiting...

For what? Everyone is waiting, suspended. I look at the white unmarked van with the flashing yellow lights and a bored man behind the wheel.

I pull out, and now I am waiting too. I can't pass...

nothing is happening. Obviously I'm supposed to notice something. But what?
I look again.
Blue car, white van, yellow lights. Check.
Man driving van. Check. Bored, check.
No one driving the blue car, that I can see but a shape there, check.
Engine running...check.
license plate is "777" 4U

As soon as I notice the plates, the car pulls out, and leaves, I pull out behind it, and the white van continues on it's way wherever it was going. This was on the 13th. I was so surprised no one called to tell me we had won!


Bo is right-we skipped Halloween. THIS is why I need someone to keep track of me.

So we do have one more. That feels right. BUT not this week. See you all next week after Thanksgiving.

Happy Turkey to you all!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


THIS is the coolest thing I've seen. Don't you love MOTHER nature when she breaks the rules? I got this email from a friend, and it blew me away!

"In a zoo in California, a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in the pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their tiny size, they died shortly after birth.

The mother tiger after recovering from the delivery suddenly started to decline in health, although physically she was fine . The veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a depression. The doctors decided that if the tigress could surrogate another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.

After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing news was that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment. Sometimes a mother of one species will take on the care of a different species. The only orphan's that could be found quickly were a litter of weaning pigs. The zookeepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops?

Take a look! You won't believe your eyes!!"

Monday, November 12, 2007


optical illusions dancing girl

Check this out. Notice if it is spinning clockwise or counterclockwise for you.
and does she switch?
counter clockwise-you're in left brain
clockwise-you're in right brain

a good old fashioned mom grounding

that sounds so ive been grounded by mom...but it is something to think about..funny what happens when one goes out of control or crosses some boundaries one gets grounded...when my mom got in i felt immediately grounded and it felt like i knew i had gone a little far over not extreme, just a little bit uncomfortable. i had not been sleeping so well and was getting up really early meditating and me and lack of sleep and lots of work doesnt work. i am going to remember that this time around...i can work and be passionate and intense but need sleep too.

i cleared a huge piece last night that came up with the enough feeling but it was actually very different than i had thought and was sort of stuck under 'enough' and 'abundance' leave it to me to have thrown a bunch of 'stuff' in as distraction.. so i got to clear up why i had linked stuff in there - the stuff was a distraction from the real feeling...DUH. so funny how you think its one thing but it actually turns out to be something else... i guess that is part of the letting go of meanings and packaging and results and you have to sometimes just go through it..ive been asking that my lessons come in gentle and at highest because ive noticed these odd peaks these days. they are very quick and dont have that old few week downfall into a bad spin but instead they come up quick and leave quickly but are still intense and id like them to be a little less intense...

very strange dream last night about being a stunt double in a movie. my scene was to reach up to this guy on a trapeze and hold on...the director was i believe 'god' the white beard and all (funny how the mind did that). there were so many people around working on it and watching and the first take which was the screen test i had gotten it right - the second one the real shoot wasnt as good and i had remarked to a friend in the dream that it just felt off... it was long and bizarre and packed with symbolism... what am i reaching for? how to get this connection 'just right' - i had to reach up and grab his hands right way to hold on and swing - why do i feel like im being judged - why am i being so hard on myself?

Sunday, November 11, 2007


What do these images say to you? Which feels the most powerful?
Both are about manifesting aren't they?

Saturday, November 10, 2007

more on enough..

Thats why I love having this space to post...helps see whats going on. Maybe it is just a question of what language works in the right way. Its funny at times Ive felt and experienced such incredible excess and such incredible depravity and enough seems to be a middle ground word for me.

I think Ive been learning for some years to be happy with enough and not needing more always wanting wanting wanting not enjoying or even really experiencing what was in front of me - just focused on next and more and not being in moment...But i am different and I am in moments and appreciate what i have in each moment and still am open to all that is and more and maybe its just for me needing to be clear that thats the case... after writing that post its like hmmm.. i am clear on the fact that what ive wanted was to learn to be happy in each state excess abundance enough - and when in state of not enough making the necessary change to shift out of feeling deprived or lacking and questioning WHY i feel that way...

Friday, November 9, 2007

Enough IS Enough!

Ive been thinking a lot about this idea of abundance for a while now and what it really means and what kind of energy its sending out hasnt sat well with me for a while and Ive been thinking and thinking about what the feeling actually is...Ive known the feeling, but havent known what it looks like or how to express it..its come up in various versions of the way I see my life who Im with how we live how we love one another...Ive said it for years I want something simple so incredibly simple...So sending out abundance for me has been feeling very strange and not in line with my core...its just felt heavy and weighty and too much over-saturation excess insatiable desires craving longing...

A friend of mine told me a story about one of his encounters with a man that said you know 'I just want enough'. CLICK. That worked for me. That feels clear and good in every cell of my body. Ive been saying and feeling this daily and in each moment - I say 'I just want enough, thank you, thank you.' For me whatever enough is, is enough. I dont need more excess, more is just more. When ones had enough they are filled complete satisfied sustained. Even when its used in the more negative sense like screw you ive had enough, it still has same meaning as in complete done. Enough is whatever one needs in that moment to fill filled...simple feels right too and i still send that out for certain things, but Enough IS Enough!

Ive been adding this to Feral Futures the non-profit and thinking about making buttons and tshirts that say just feels right in so many ways with all thats going on and where we have the potential to go ... abundance the word or connotation conjures up the feeling of excess to me...and seems a bit unclear to be sending out as abundance and excess viewed in certain ways has only gotten us into trouble i think... Its sort of an off-shoot or addition or alternative to the abundance wave....
ok so Im editing the part that said lets all shout enough is enough from the highest mountain top...i think the question is really what joy said...what is 'enough' for me ....also knowing when enough is and or isnt enough...hmmm being able to edit...

Thursday, November 8, 2007


So, continuing along the same vein,
I don't have to know how.....(fill in the blank)
I only know that I have it
I am doing it
That it is
And I am

I always said "I don't know'
but if I don't have to know, and it can just come, wow that makes it so much easier.

Daughters of Lilith

Who was she, as an archetype? If you journey to connect with her, what does she do to your feminine balance?
Since we were talking about feminine archetypes no one mentioned her last night.
I think we tend to be afraid of her. The mythology says she:
wouldn't obey:
she wouldn't obey Adam and she wouldn't obey God. In fact, she invoked God's name and got the hell out of Dodge. She went to the beach, and God came after her and told her to 'go home'! And still she wouln't obey. And then God threatened her children. Said he would kill 100 of her babies-and still she said no. All this because she didn't like the sexual position of being on the bottom?
Me thinks there may be a tad more to the story...

so THEN she went and began a wraithful vengeful killing spree, killing the children of Adam. Well, sounds like she had a reason to be pissed. I mean, her babies were being smited down by God no less.

What would you do?
Would you stand up to God to protect your babies?
Would you obey, or would you say "I don't think so" and get out?

Is it no wonder women are afraid of their anger? Of their emotions? Do you think there might be some wernicke voice commands in our deep subconscious modules?

Do you think we might have had a love hate relationship with "GOD"?

Thinking Outloud

When deer show up in your life it is time to be gentle with yourself and others. A new innocence and freshness is about to be awakened or born. There is going to be a gentle, enticing lure of new adventures. When deer show up there is an opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you. Does that sound cool or what.
I originally was going to write about the pattern of boundaries, many people in my life are experiencing much in regards to addressing when will they be kind to themselves. When will they stop putting others needs before there needs. How long will they allow their life to be at the bottom of the list instead of jumping to the top of our life list. Do we treat others the way we want to be treated, or are the people in our lives showing us how little we care about ourselves. Are we being nurtured and fed with the things that bring us wonder, love, passion or is our life force being sucked dry. Life is so dang interesting what parts are we playing?????
I think the challenge in life is to truly love ourselves, love what we do. At that point we radiate the love light, hmmmmm.
Just thinking outloud.....
Sending abundance and beauty to all........

Tuesday, November 6, 2007


We will have class tomorrow, for those that can make it. It's our last one,I believe. Let's talk about the next adventure.
Do bring your 30 second song-and you can solo...

we will also journey with the flute music for a change, and see how it takes us.
we will call in Kokopeli, to guide us.

Much love

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Being Still

My goodness yes, we have moved into super drive. As I was finding a picture to put on the blog, I saw this and thought man in all that is going on around us and all the things coming up can we find a place within ourselves to be still. Yes, to be quiet with our Mesas. Become anchored to the center of self, so that we don't need to engage in fighting the Yodas. Having issues with the body. How about the hot flashes being energy being kicked up a notch. I agree that something this way cometh and I know I want to be more like the hollow bone that I move the energy free of any blocks. I know when I am having a megathought I do feel my energy rise. I think I have said that years ago when I would do a healing you could fry eggs on my body. It was like when I would find myself in a situation where I need to use the healing energy I would have a huge download and would need to remove all metal from my body while it was going on, because the metal would get so hot that it would burn. So again we are looking at so many things that it could be this it could be that, but if we become still will we get our answer. I toss this out there but I am sure it is more for me than anyone. I am having such huge test/assessment anxiety about what I am learning and I have to be able to show what I have learned on Wednesday and I am thinking I need to be confident, I need to be anchored within myself. Here is to us all and to the wisdom of how perfect things are right at this moment.....

Saturday, November 3, 2007


Some of you have heard me talk about Lilith, right? She was the original 'first ex-wife' archetype? She got to be more and more demonized as time went on, and she isn't one that is well known, but the more male dominated the society, the more evil she got.

In Sumeria Lilith was the left hand of Inanna. She brought the men to the temple of the "Tantric" rites. For sex of course!

In Mesopotamia she was a destructive goddess of winds and storms.

The Hebrews turned her into a demonic female spirit that killed children. She was the one who stole the breath from newborns, so she was blamed for crib deaths.

The Zohar made her into a vampire like creature called the incubi, with wings and talons and everything.

But she was the first woman to share Eden with Adam. God made her the same way he made Adam, from the earth. She was an independent woman. LOL a free minded virgin who would not listen or mind Adam at all, and didn't apparently give in to his sexual desires. Bad woman. She didn't want to always lay on the bottom! Go Figure!

She left Eden, and Adam, and Adam complained to God saying 'she won't mind me at all' and God made him another woman, this time from the rib of Adam so that she would 'know her place', so she wasn't made from the earth, but from the matter of Adam. What does that symbology tell you ladies? "Woman, know thy place."

Lilith is said to have been one of the 20 original names of 'woman' and one of the secret names that are part of the mystical teachings of the temple of ISHTAR/ASTARTE.

Interestingly enough, here is a quote

"teachings and practices that threatened the new patriarchal leaders and their attempts to make woman into a dependent, monogamous servant of their households. "There is no doubt", says Ean Begg, that the "Queen of Sheeba in the cabbala, the Zohar and Arabic legends" is identical with the Near Eastern goddess Lilith, who "is also associated with the concubine of Abraham, Hagar 'the Egyptian', whose son Ishmael, having been begotten on the Black stone of the Ka'bah, became the ancestor of the Arab peoples"( Begg p38)

Lilith is associated with the MOON teachings. The MOON followers were the city of BABYLON, which of course was villified in the biblical text as the city of SIN. SIN were the MOON followers - or other than SUN followers. Get it? It was all a political battle, always has been!

I love this:
"When the first man suggested intercourse to the primal female, she enthusiastically agreed. Adam then instructed Lilith to lie down beneath him. Insulted, she refused, pointing out that they had been created equally and should mate so." She didn't like the position-what a metaphor eh?!

"Adam and Lilith never found peace together; for when he wished to lie with her, she took offence at the recumbent posture he demanded. 'Why must I lie beneath you?' she asked. 'I also was made from dust, and am therefore your equal.' Because Adam tried to compel her obedience by force, Lilith, in a rage, uttered the magic name of God, rose into the air and left him."

f) Undismayed by His failure to give Adam a suitable help-meet, God tried again, and let him watch while he built up a woman's anatomy: using bones, tissues, muscles, blood and glandular secretions, then covering the whole with skin and adding tufts of hair in places. The sight caused Adam such disgust that even when this woman, the First Eve, stood there in her full beauty, he felt an invincible repugnance. God knew that He had failed once more, and took the First Eve away. Where she went, nobody knows for certain. [9]

Doesn't that sound like genetic engineering-or a divine sort of robotic thing?

(g) God tried a third time, and acted more circumspectly. Having taken a rib from Adam's side in his sleep, He formed it into a woman; then plaited her hair and adorned her, like a bride, with twenty-four pieces of jewellery, before waking him. Adam was entranced. [10]

These are from various Rabbincal sources in Genesis...

Mostly the stories point out that Lilith defied divine go girl! Hell hath no fury like an independent woman.


I'm definitely starting to sound like the Dad in "MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING".
PARTHENOGENESIS-greek for virgin creation. Cool eh? Maybe that should be...oh never mind.

Anyway-it's the asexual reproduction without fertilization by a male. It happens in nature-dragons, parasitic wasps, scorpions, bees...some birds, sharks.

The ancient Egyptians wrote about this-
the female produces an egg that does not need to be fertilized...what if the female is born with this in her-the seed of the next coming-and not something that happens from outside-like from the wind, or the 'overshadowing' of anything. Whoa. That takes the role of these quite special vessels to another level doesn't it?

It is true, the children of virgin births are usually male. It could be because of a mostly patriarchial society by the time the stories were recorded.

What I find interesting is this, follow the mythology:

If Astarte was the predecessor of Ishtar, and there was temple of Ishtar at Magdala, and Mary Magdalene was purported to have been trained as the High Priestess in the Temple of Ishtar ...the Egyptian Isis traditions...and called the keeper of the doves... hmmmmm .... just curious is all ...

"...Long ago her name was ISIS, Queen of the benevolent springs, COME TO ME ALL YOU WHO LABOUR AND ARE HEAVY LADEN AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. Others knew her as MAGDALENE with the celebrated vase full of healing balm. The initiated know her to be NOTRE DAME DES CROSS."
- Le Serpent Rouge

"...The [Gnostic] Gospel of Mary depicts Mary Magdalene (never recognized as an apostle by the orthodox) as the one favored with visions and insight that far surpass Peter's. The Dialogue of the Savior praises her not only as a visionary, but as the apostle who excels all the rest. She is the 'woman who knew the All'."
- Elaine Pagels, The Gnostic Gospels

To me, and this is just me, ruminating here, I would say that the 'myth' of a virgin birth is supposed to show the status of that particular 'male', right? That is to say, their unique and special singulation, and oh so much more special than mere women.

Darn those hot flashes!

My hot flashes seem to be striking more often, even after increasing some of the homeopathic solutions I have in my cupboard. So for the last couple of months I've been trying to observe what has been happening before and after a hot flash strikes. Two things seem to bring on the hot flashes. The first is eating or drinking which seems to bring on a hot flash after about a half hour. The second happens when I have a profound thought immediately before the hot flash, although it's hard to remember the thought. The first I can attribute to hormonal, but the second? Is it possible that this is my body's way of saying, 'Pay attention. You're receiving direction.'

Any opinions?

Friday, November 2, 2007

Immaculate Conception and Archetypes

We were talking a few days ago in one of the classes about the concept of Immaculate Conception, and how that "proves" Jesus was divine. I made mention of the fact that that has been used to "prove" divinity, across our planet and cross culturally for eons.

I made a quick list from those old notes of my old religious philosophy class, and thought you all might be interested in it too, as many of us don't venture far from our own theological upbringing. Ready? I've always found this interesting.

AMENKEPT or AMENOPHIS of Egypt - was born to MUT-EM-UA, the virgin queen of Egypt, 2000 years before Jesus. He built Luxor. She was impregnated when the God KNEPH (holy spirit) held the cross to her mouth

HORUS or IOSOS of Egypt - was born to IISIS (or IOS and SEPT) Queen Mother, in Egypt. (Interestingly enough, she was a "virgo", hence SEPT being Virgo) She had an immaculate conception and gave birth to HORUS on Dec 25th. She was depicted with a crown of 12 stars HORUS is also known as IOSOS, which is the root word for IOSUS, or JESUS. HORUS by the way-died and was resurrected.

ASTARTE - a Syrian Godess is also considered a prototype of Mary. A virgin too, and the mother of mankind. The name translated over into Hebrew as Ashtoreth. She later became Semiramis, and her symbol the dove. She was big in Babylon, and was also associated with the MOON, and JUSTICE. Said to have given birth to the savior of man on Dec 25th.

PLATO was said to have been immaculately conceived. His mother, PERETONIA, was a virgin, and was to have been conceived by the ghost of APOLLO...who told her husband Ariston what was going to happen...just to be fair.

QUESALCOTE - born to a virgin mother named CHILALMAN. An immaculate conception, a crucifixtion, and a resurrection also after 3 days.

CHRISHNA in India-born of a virgin, DEVAKI. BTW-he was supposed to have died to atone for the sins of mankind (in 300 year BC) His birth was attended by angels and shepards. Survived a command from CANSA who ordered all the first born sons killed, and ascended back to heaven in front of others. And he was given frankencense and myrrh at his birth.

BUDDHA - conceived by MAYA, an immaculate virgin who conceived through divine influence...but really he never claimed to be a god. HE was born in the ordinary way to a rajah. Was said to walk through walls and walk on water, and performed miracles. Buddha lived and preached 500 years BEFORE Jesus was born.

QUEXALCOTAL in Mexico and South American-born of a a 'spotless' virgin. Must be even better. The mother was COATLICUE, who cleaned the temple. She saw a ball of feathers fall from the sky, and she put it in her top near her buson. Later the ball of feathers was gone, and lo, she was pregnant.
Went into the wilderness for 40 days. Was crucified between two thieves, was buried and rose on the third day.

ESCHYLUS of the Huns-was the 'chaste virgin', and her son was the 'son of God'

ALEXANDER THE GREAT - a messiah cult was developed around him, and it was later claimed that he was born of a virgin and had no eartly father, although Philip of Macedonia is listed as his father.

XACA-a Chinese savior, was concieved of his mother MAIA, by a white elephant. All white animals are considered pure and holy, and she gave birth to him from her side.

SUCHIQUECAL - Queen of the Heavens, concieved a son without connection wtih a man-hence an immaculate conception

JULIUS - was considered to have been an immaculate conception - the son of the beautiful virgin CRONIS CELESTINE

OSIRUS - of Egypt - divine immaculate conception

APPOLONUS of Cappadocia - (contemporary of Jesus) said to have been 'overshadowed' (interesting term don't you think?) by the supreme God PROTEUS.

AUGUSTUS CAESAR - generated from the power of JOVE, and an immaculate conception conceived in the temple of Apollo.

CITLALTONAC- conceived a son from the virgin Chimalma...I can't find the name of the son.

YU of China - God, who's virgin mother was SHING MON, who conceived from a water lily. (think that's how the rumor that you could get pregnant in a swimming pool got started? Another Urban myth...) YU was the first Chinese monarch, and was conceived when his mother was struck by a star while traveling.

ARION of Byrsa - immaculately conceived by Gods in the citadel of Byrsa.

ZOROASTER of Persia - born of an immaculate conception from the ray of divine reason

MITHRAS of Persia - was born on Dec 25th, from the Sun God and a virgin mother. He performed miracles like raising the dead, blind/see, lame/walk. Put to death on a cross, buried in a cave, and reborn. Had a last supper with 12 disciples. Ascended to heaven.

TAMMUZ of Syria - 12 century BC, around the same time as KRISHNA, and ATYS, said to be the great grandson of Noah,

INDRA of India - is shown as having been nailed to a cross, and five wounds representing the nail-holes and piercing in his side. His mother was a virgin, he descended from heaven on a mission, and ascended back after his crucifixion.

BALI of India - was a crucified God. Also represented with holes in his hands and side

HESUS of the Druids-was born from the virgin mother MAYENCE. Her body was enveloped in light, and a crown of 12 stars sat on her head, and her foot on the head of a serpent, and the myth is more than 2000 years old.

IO of Eschylus - is called the 'chaste virgin', and her son 'the son of God'.

TIEN and CHANG-TI of China - born of virgins ' who knew no man', and reigned more than 2500 years ago, and they were worshipped as Gods. When CHANG-TI was born to an earthly virgin mother, angels sang and shepards attended the birth

HERCULES - was born from the God ZEUS and a mortal virgin, ALCMENE, also known as PRUDENCE. Hera wanted Hercules dead. Hercules died, and ascended to Mt Olympus and became a God.

CONFUCIUS - at his birth five wise men came from a distance and celestial music filled the air, and angels were there.

ALCIDES of Greece- born of ALCMENE, a virgin.

BACCHUS of Egypt - A God, born from the earthly virgin SEMELE.

SAKIA - his virgin mother was MAIA. His emblem was a cross, he was crucified, and was buried for 3 days and then rose. His mother was called "holy virgin mother of the world', and he was called 'savior of the world' and 'light of the world'

SUCHIQUECAL - called the Queen of Heavens, and she conceived a son without a man

QUIRINUS of the Sabines - a mysterious ancient Roman God, who existed before the Rome we know of. The story was later added to the story of Romulus. Conceived and brought forth from a virgin, crucified, and ascended into Heaven after 3 days.

VULCAN - was born from Juno, who was 'overshadowed' by the wind.

ZULIS or THULIS of Egypt - his mother was a virgin, and he was crucified. 1700 BC, Died at 27, and rose from the dead, and ascended into heaven.

JESUS - son of PANDERA but born a century before the Jesus we know.

I don't know about you, but I see a plot similarity...any comments?

Thursday, October 25, 2007



See, this all leads to
Re-installing the old story!

The Re-action, is a Re-sponse to an old stimulus.
When we clear the triggers, we don't get the RE-new, we just get NEW.

Then we can simply do it another way
because that old stuff-it's gone.


So i had a 2 - 1/2 hr session last night with a was really cool. She shifted huge pieces...At the end of the session she said, 'you know Id never looked at it that way, I dont know why I had just assumed that I had to be on defense with the universe...Why havent I assumed that I would be supported and protected by it?' We both kind of chuckled at the simplicity of the point...

My mom brought up the same point this morning she said why am I just assuming that there isnt a relationship out there that im interested in? why not assume there is? Its so simple is almost stupid. I love it... Really working on Keeping It Simple.

Its almost a no-brainer once all of the old stories are cleared out...This letting go and being open...

I also realized to how important it is to cultivate those new feelings at early stages. When the client from last night got a new image at the end of a big piece this very new VERY different feeling was there and I told her it was up to her to just play with how this new feeling feels explore it and grow it and nuture it if she wanted to...Just reminded me too to nuture and be open at beginning stages...

Felt really good to do a session it had been a while...

Water as a Metaphor

Water...Emotion, like the river they seem to be running quite high right now. There is beauty in this fast running water. Symbolically it reflects how fast we are working through emotions that no longer serve us. I love how we are connection to the solidarity of ourselves as a group and as individuals. Can we also move into the quiet depths of still water, can we appreciate our moments of this quiet, alone time. In look at the pictures I chose I thought also that they are still part of the canyon as well, connected to the rocks and flora.
As a child I liked being alone as well as having my friends. I don't know that I have experienced loneliness. I have had longing for a particular person or persons but loneliness, I don't know. Alone is a state of being, while loneliness is an emotion of not feeling isolated, emptiness. Is my cup full or empty, hmmmm.
In observing myself and those around me I see us all coming to the place that we are totally anchored in the center of our beings. Coming to the place that we have the memories of our experience but not the triggers of that it experience.
The picture of the trees in the mist describes for me what lonely would look like. Although there is stark beauty in this frame.
We are all so beautiful......AHO

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Going too fast

I got myself really worked up tonight, driving home talking to a friend. By the time I got to walmart and by then was really going fast, I realized that I wasn't sure how to come down off that high! It was a great high, but I also worried. I heard myself thinking "oh oh. I'm not going to be able to calm down from this one." which is such an odd statement to make!

I kept hearing my mother's voice then, saying "Joy, you're going to make yourself sick. Now stop it."

This is directly related to what we were talking about tonight with our mother's rules. It's not safe or ok to be emotional-good or bad! I could see Bo with her little face against the door.

It's not ok to get really excited! It's not ok to have your emotions-even the good ones!


cultivating openness

There is nothing more beautiful than watching someone in their power in that calm centered grounded space....Its strong is ancient its wise. Ive been thinking a lot about this idea of what beauty and power means to me - its this strength and confidence that is so authentic that can be witnessed in certain people who are in their center in their root, when someone is open to experience and not living in fear of future or past.

Its a grounded feeling of watching someone in the moment, in a moment. Someone who quietly has center and holds it, its neither aggressive nor assertive, its almost the opposite thats happening like a steady strong rock amidst an ocean. And that silence has a depth and intensity and has more power and strength than ive really understood before at a visceral and conscious level....hmmm interesting.

I know I feel this when I am open. I am centered. There are no questions there are no answers, its just open and it creates the most beautiful authentic sacred space. Its this intense strength that before felt almost unnerving and foreign and i kept trying to tip toe around and between but now feels like what I had been missing and not been able to own before or see clearly. I am in an experience I am curious, I learn, I grow, I feel empowered, I feel inspired, I feel creative, I feel alive, I feel beautiful.


Its like returning to something thats always been there, ive always known. Its very primal. Its not found in language or gesture or anything that is a symbol or sign or expression of the original, it IS the original, this fearless strong space with the voice the song the feral raw heart beating breath root.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

A few good quotes to make you think...

“How can I follow my heart when it's waiting around for the rest of me to make the decision?”

“Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.”

“Anger is a wound gone mad.” -- Vanna Bonta

“Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively” -- Voltaire

“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.” -- Robin Williams

“Maybe thats what hell is. You go mad, and all your demons come and get you just as fast as you can think them up.”
-- Anne Rice (the vampire chronicles author)

“If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.” --Andy Rooney

“You can only come to the morning through the shadows.” --JRR Tolkien

“Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.” --Horace (ancient roman poet)

and another one from Horace;
“Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans; it's lovely to be silly at the right moment”

The effect of living backwards

"That's the effect of living backwards," the Queen said kindly: "it always makes one a little giddy at first-----"

Take another look at the picture. It 'appears' to be in front-but it's behind. It's also the center of her field of vision as she is trying to move forward...

or is she really moving backwards?

See...we have to keep the past in perspective...where do we keep the past? Is it in the center of our now?

This is the story of my marriage:
Queen of Hearts: I am NOT in the habit of talking to myself.
Queen of Hearts: Even though it's the only way I can get a decent conversation around here.