Aspiration-less

My mind keeps wandering back to the last Shaman class in which I stated "I have no aspirations." My life has been a continual march of aspirations, goals, fighting for the satisfaction of completion ---only to march forward with the next aspiration, goal, and completion. Each of these marches came with sacrifice and pain, and a lot of 'if only's.' If only I had time to read that book instead of having to study for that test; if only I could take a trip instead of having to immerse myself in that project at work; if only, if only. A couple of days ago I had a revelation. No aspirations and no goals means freedom. Without the drive to finish and to compete with myself, I feel free --- absolutely, totally free. I'm now free to create --- to live. Now we'll see what comes.