Monday, November 12, 2007

a good old fashioned mom grounding

that sounds so funny..like ive been grounded by mom...but it is something to think about..funny what happens when one goes out of control or crosses some boundaries one gets grounded...when my mom got in i felt immediately grounded and it felt like i knew i had gone a little far over not extreme, just a little bit uncomfortable. i had not been sleeping so well and was getting up really early meditating and me and lack of sleep and lots of work doesnt work. i am going to remember that this time around...i can work and be passionate and intense but need sleep too.

i cleared a huge piece last night that came up with the enough feeling but it was actually very different than i had thought and was sort of stuck under 'enough' and 'abundance' leave it to me to have thrown a bunch of 'stuff' in as distraction.. so i got to clear up why i had linked stuff in there - the stuff was a distraction from the real feeling...DUH. so funny how you think its one thing but it actually turns out to be something else... i guess that is part of the letting go of meanings and packaging and results and you have to sometimes just go through it..ive been asking that my lessons come in gentle and at highest because ive noticed these odd peaks these days. they are very quick and dont have that old few week downfall into a bad spin but instead they come up quick and leave quickly but are still intense and id like them to be a little less intense...

very strange dream last night about being a stunt double in a movie. my scene was to reach up to this guy on a trapeze and hold on...the director was i believe 'god' the white beard and all (funny how the mind did that). there were so many people around working on it and watching and the first take which was the screen test i had gotten it right - the second one the real shoot wasnt as good and i had remarked to a friend in the dream that it just felt off... it was long and bizarre and packed with symbolism... what am i reaching for? how to get this connection 'just right' - i had to reach up and grab his hands right way to hold on and swing - why do i feel like im being judged - why am i being so hard on myself?

1 comment:

Jacqueline Brown, said...

What a great thing to have with your mother. As a mother we always hope we can be a stabilzing factor in our childrens life....