Thursday, November 29, 2007

you get out what you put in...

Ive been thinking a lot about this today. Ive been putting in a lot of half-assed all around because I havent been quite sure of much. It hit me though literally a few hours ago that regardless of outcome it is still a choice to give it all you got, even if in the end it gets sold (as in the apartment), changes (as in the job/project), leaves (as in the man), or ends (as in the relationship a day or a life). What is the point if you are not in all the way despite what happens down the road. This fear of commitment thing has really been such an illusion...I had it at times (or for things that werent 100%) that I shouldnt give it my all because Im not sure...what crap! With my apartment renovation I ordered some gorgeous cork flooring samples - just in case. They arrived today, and I was like why oh why did I beg the super to cheap it out just to get it over with. Literally a few dollars more a little more love and energy and it goes from generic and cold to insanely beautiful and glowing and more importantly something that I feel good about - even if in the end I get rid of the place...

ive had linked not commit if not 100% sure --- what the hell is guaranteed? nothing! the only thing guaranteed is how much i decide to put in, to give, to love...yipee!

Such a huge lesson that sunk into my body today. Its been connected across all things this week, relationship, job, apt, self....It really is about putting in everything and loving it and being proud and not walking away with regrets or feeling like you didnt give it everything you got. I mean Ive known this at times intellectually and have done it but I GOT it today. Duh something my dad used to drill in my head...anyway right again dad. Heres to slow learners...heehee....

1 comment:

Jacqueline Brown, said...

Very timely....so true...how much are you willing to invest in love, energy, money etc....