So my pattern is to create something stressful dramatic a diversion until 'it' comes...maybe this is the artist in me...art school was miserable deadlines hell----to birth something was so incredibly painful...im sure many of you relate...its almost like suffering is the only way to validate the creation...and now that im feeling a little better today im having all of these ideas --- i knew i would but it wasnt ready yet it was gestating...so my dumb self is saying oh thats what all this was it was holding pattern until baby ready to come out......I NEED TO LEARN BETTER SKILLS>
ive gotten better at holding center in the meantime- reading, resting, meditation, working....but there are days when nothing comes? i get bored!!! this tortured creator thing is garbage -- i dont buy it but i dont know another way....help!
i was thinking about pregnancy and the importance of those 9 months before birthing a baby...and how important it is to take care of the woman....why am i not treating myself my 'work' the same way? i cant even imagine being pregnant for 9 months? i would go insane i think waiting and waiting...bored! i need to change this---birthing is birthing and the in between in sacred!!!
so new question is what new can i do in the meantime while im birthing something?
what do you guys do when you are 'waiting'? in between?
why do we not value those moments before birthing us our ideas the same as those '9 months' before birthing someone else?
2 comments:
I get terribly bored in the waiting, too, Lauren. The only thing that was a long hard slog for me to birth was my degree, but a lot of that was just enduring and putting one foot after another. I've heard lots of my friends who've given birth to babies say that toward the end it is just enduring, waiting and putting one foot after the other. Trusting the universe that the project is progressing, even if it seems like you aren't actively participating in the progression.
I think we get caught up in being active, we get "addicted" to it in a way. We feel uneasy if we aren't actively noticeably progressing. Sometimes we need to be still and practice waiting.
I guess what I would say in answer to the question, "What do you do when you are waiting?", is when I remember not to be bothered by the waiting, I practice waiting patiently, trustingly, joyfully. Probably not a very satisfying response. If you have any new ideas on this subject, I'd love to hear it. I wonder the same thing really, because like I said. I get bored too.
Lauren track back to what the first thing was that started you off on this track and it was being bored, and waiting.
I am guilty of blowing things up, or stirring things up because I am bored. Then I get lost in the drama and away we go!
But really-boredom is the piece to rewire. The waiting for all that great stuff you can see that's coming to actually get here!
Some of the things that are happening now I saw 15 years ago...talk about a WAIT program!
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