strange happenings

So I went to my storage unit to handle the situation (from the break-in where someone had put another lock on my unit). They were very nice today moved me to a more expensive upper unit even had two guys help move everything even though i kept getting hits that this was an inside job that 2 of those helping me were somehow related with if not on my specific unit then others units. As I was signing papers all of a sudden it hit me - my suitcase was missing from the unit, my suitcase in which I had placed my grandmothers jewelery box filled with jewelry in. At first I was like I am such a complete asshole why would I put that in there. Then I remembered I did because of the work in my apartment. So Im going back tomorrow to file a police report and incident report at the storage place. It has such a creepy energy its really awful. the floor im on is better but how did I not pay attention to this before. I think I was in a rush so I just said screw it Ill do it anyway. I knew when I had checked the space out last tie that something was missing - it was too neat too perfect looking with just one ripped box and a few moved clothes. I asked why would someone go through all the trouble to clip a lock and then not take anything. The whole situation reeks of ick. Any hits you guys get on this issue?

The sad thing is that all the jewelery I had since childhood was in the box. Things my dad had given me, my grandmother, uncle, a friend - all who have since passed. And then there were just a lot of other special sort of things - things that had no real monetary value, just things that are irreplaceable. Im a little sad but Im trying not to harp on it. At the end of the day they are just things. I feel like there is a larger lesson here. Tomorrow Im sure Ill get more of it when I file a report and when I write a formal complaint to the president of the company - a storage company which is all over the city in ads movies etc as being so nyc and so reliable.

In other funny coincidence news tomorrow just so happens also to be a huge meeting in my building to elect new board members and to discuss issues. My neighbor who has had huge issues caught me in the hall the other day and said we need to change this and shake it up its not ok to stand for this kind of behavior and disregard.....so Im hearing a theme here...

castor oil pack

have you guys ever done one? ive done a bunch with my liver flushes and some a few months ago with acupuncture sessions. today i walked past the castor oil in the health food store and got a hit to do one - its just castor oil on wool flannel (you can put saran wrap on next) than a hot water bottle or heating pad. ive also heated the castor oil before putting it on which feels really nice! leave it on for 30 minutes or more. ive put it on my liver and abdomen area but ive heard you can use it in lots of places to improve digestion circulation reduce swelling detoxification etc.

colonic

i havent had one in a very long time but after all the dental work and teeth issues i kept getting a hit it was a good idea and i have been feeling really toxic. i feel so much better right now. its actually noticeably different feeling. i forgot how they do work sometimes and do help. so happy ive been listening to hits this week.

i did get my new crown and fillings in (all 5 n one tiny area!) anyway i can finally bite down for the first time in a while im so happy that this chapter is complete! the dentist even showed me a before and after xray and i saw the difference and really had a great understanding of what was clearly wrong and how this would resolve and heal all of that area! yipee!

ive been feeling really lethargic the past few months i really think its been these teeth so excited to see/feel the difference!

Restless Legs

Did you know that 'restless legs syndrome', that itchy crawly thing that comes on in the evening, can be because of the kidneys?
It can also be due to anemia, which was what was causing mine.
It can also be arthritis, diabetes, nerve damage, parkinson's.

The suggestions vary, but I've noticed that adding magnesium at night, which relaxes muscles, helps. I've also noticed that exercise, just lightly, in the evening, like a walk, helps. Drinking more water, helps.

Foods that Promote Sleep

So top of the list is CHLOROPHYLL!
Yep, leafy greens. Especially lettuce.

Then oysters, whole grains including oats and brown rice, mushrooms, fruit especially lemons, seeds, dill and BASIL.

Foods high in both tryptophan and B3 (niacin): Legumes, peanuts, fish, chicken.

Foods high in tryptophan:
turkey, figs, bananas, yogurt, tuna, milk, whole grain crackers, nut butter, and grapefruit, eggs, miso, berries, honey.

More evidence that raw works for us.
I realized that when I was doing raw, I slept really well!
I haven't been sleeping lately, even with the l-tryptophan. I'm waking every hour or two. I go back to sleep, but I'm definitely not sleeping through.

So, maybe this will help!

I forgot to mention...

I forgot that they also were mandating, in the pee pee shot class, that you use no lotions, makeup or oils on your skin.
Of course, they had 'special' lotion for sale. They claimed that it throws the hypothalamus off...maybe it does? All the chemicals do something to us.

Just think-what if all these years it's the makeup that makes us fat? LOL

So, eat 500 calories, EAT no oils or fats, stop taking your flaxseed oil if you are taking it, AND don't use any lotions on your skin...

we'll all be thin and look like snakes!

just catching up here!

It has been a very interesting few weeks for me here. Sorry I disappeared but its been non-stop and its finally slowing down. Ive been sorting again like persephone getting my apt. ready to be rented going through and reducing the clutter. I have someone coming Monday to see the place a possible subletter so send good juju please! When all goes well (heehee like that) I will be heading out to salt lake for at least 2 months for now.

So some very strange things have happened over these past few weeks all which have a similar theme which hit me between the eyes after the 3rd thing clicked in here goes:

1) i had to go to my storage unit to get something. I didnt really felt good about having my space in the basement of this storage facility but i thought what the heck. I got downstairs and there was another lock on my door. Long story short when i was waiting upstairs for them to cut the luck I heard very clearly well this is what you said right? You wanted to get rid of all of your stuff? I didnt know what I had decided - I knew once they opened the door I would fins out what I had chosen if the stuff was there or stolen. Well it seems I had decided to keep it although i wanted a shake up - so not sure still if anythings officially gone but it was moved a bit (have yet to go file a police report). Anyway larger lesson though was when the manager although being really nice just was matter of factly saying ok file a report and thats that. I kept saying this is not ok - we have a contract and this is not ok.

2) In regards to all of my mouth and teeth issues - i went to the dentist the other day (and exactly as I had seen it) under my crown was all rotten so CA i feel you - all the teeth around had cavities top and bottom from these two teeth issues --- get this the contact was off. Just a mere tiny thing, the contact being ever so slightly off and all of this other stuff came in, the periodontal issues the bleeding, the mirroring on the opposite side. My dentist admitted full culpability during the appt saying none of it was my fault it was all the contact. Anyway when it came time to pay the bill she said 'ok so for tooth 1 were giving you a 1400 porcelain machine milled filling for the price of a composite filling at 250'. She continued to do this with the 3 other teeth and then said one was full price. So 2500$ later i basically was 'eating' the cost of her mistake not to mention all the health swings this year from this mistake. I kept hearing this little lauren voice though going 'lauren dont look a gift horse in the mouth'. I left feeling like not only had I not gotten a bargain but that i was being somehow asked to swallow this crap down and feel awesome about it- we had a contract and she didnt hold up her end of the deal.

3) My super finally finished the work however it looks like a shotty job. He kept apologizing when he was leaving for all of the things that had gone wrong his wifes past cancer the weather the world everything - and I really felt for him he was trying really hard and i know shit happens. Anyway when he left I looked around and thought you know this is not ok. We had a deal and I cant imagine he would ever leave a park avenue apt job looking as rough as this. It just looks rough. And no matter what went wrong I cant imagine someone just accepting this mediocrity or pretending its ok. If I were to sell the apt now Id have to hire someone to come in and do finishing work so it looks acceptable.

So what have I gotten from these three lessons. So there were many there but a main theme was I have been accepting, eating, and allowing things that didnt feel right or ok from myself and others for a very long time. I see things from many sides and can really empathize with others situations (including mine) but thats not an excuse to allow something that doesnt feel right knowing that i feel shitty about it. That has been mapped in over and over - others situations and circumstances are more important than mine. I felt bad in each of these cases because I kept thinking they are trying there best and they havent purposefully done something to create this now negative result. Anyway im resolving all three this week. I am going to the storage place this week filing a police report and a formal complaint and asking to be moved to a new unit with at least one month free. With the dentist Im asking that I not pay for any of the work and be reimburssed for all of the painful periodontal disease cleanings ive had the past few months that cost so much that were a direct result of the poor work on my two teeth. With my super Im having him come in and finish the job properly at his time and cost. Some harder pieces too were owning all the times ive done this and forgiving myself all around.

So cant say it hasnt been interesting...and these were just three example events its been like this for a bit now, but getting lessons loud and clear. Ive been working on myself with all the subtle lessons too from all of this and I do feel really good like years and years of release and understanding and forgiveness are washing over.

Energy

This is great-now think of that energy zapping your BRAIN~pretty interesting. And you can watch this in multiple languages-I guess this is the new international "let's try it" partygame...

Sunspots

We were talking about magnetic energy, and sunspots came up the other day. DId you know that sunspots have been more active in the last 70 years that at any other time in the last 8,000 years? Ok, so what?

Sunspots are areas of intense magnetic energy, and they've been saying that low sunspot activity means cooler earth temperatures...but they aren't so sure now. When they had that mini ice age in Europe, there was no sunspot activity for about 50 years.

And did you know too, that there have been almost NO sunspot activity since Jan? Interesting! What does THAT mean? Getting ready for something big?

Sunspot activity ebbs and flows in cycles of 11 and 88 years...for those of us into the numbers...give or take a few. The last solar maximum was 2000. We may be going into a solar minimum...maybe.

Oct 11 and Oct 12, there were NO sunspots visible. None. That's unusual.

Sunspots are cooler areas on the surface of the sun, and if they blow they release huge amounts of energy into space which can even trip power grids here on earth.

Is there a correlation between increased sunspot activity and earthquakes, since the last 70 years have been really active?
Seems so. 9 if the 21 most severe earthquakes from 856-1999 were in the 20th century.
There was a 500% increase in volcanic activity between 1875 and 1993
230% increase in the sun's magnetic field since 1901
400% increase in natural disasters on earth between 1963 and 1993

What's next? Well Kathy is watching the earthquakes. Maybe we should watch sunspots too? Just for fun.

New Look - New Movement

I love the new look of the blog, very fresh and clean - nice spring cleaning, Joy.

Physical movement has been on my mind a lot lately. Anyone interested in trying out a few of the 5K walks available on weekends? We could resurrect one of the ShamaMama logos to print on tee-shirts, and just have fun walking as a gang. Check out 5K walks in Utah. There's even a 'Running through the lavender fields' 5K in Mona in June.

Might be a good way to just start moving. Any interest?

L-TRYPTOPHAN and SLEEP

If anyone is having trouble sleeping, I really want to suggest that you go to Whole Foods and get some L-Tryptophan.
L-T is one of the 20 standard amino acids, and is an essential component of our diets because we don't make it.

Seratonin and Melatonin can be made when we have enough L-T in our system. Without enough of it, we get depression.

We can EAT L-T...guess what it's in? CHOCOLATE, OATS, BANANAS, MANGOES, DATES, MILK, YOGURT, PEANUTS, SUNFLOWER SEEDS

FISH, POULTRY, RED MEAT, EGGS, CHEESE

We all know that turkey makes us sleepy, and I used to give my kids cheese before bed-this is why it worked!
Well now we can buy L-TRYP in Whole Foods, and I swear it is the BEST sleep med out there, besides helping to elevate mood, and being non-medicinal.

A New Look

Suggestions were to keep the blog, that it was beneficial to diary and to connect. So be it.
Suggestion was to update the look-change it. So be it.
I've also cleaned up our label lists, and you may notice I've condensed things. Pruning. it was getting a little wild and unruly.
Do we want to make it private, accessible to members only?

How We Meet Each Moment

Many of us have been 'noticing' interesting events lately, and while they are fun and curious, some of you are asking me what it means. To this I would say, it isn't so much what they mean as it is about how we meet them.

And because my job is always about the questions, let me pose some to you?

How does the experience, whether it is a dream, a visitation, an experience, leave you feeling?

What is the state WITHIN YOU that it has evoked?

What are you noticing about it, about yourself, and why has it caught your attention?

What do you want to take away from it?

particularly hard (me vs me) winter?

As spring/summer is here now (and in this early morning reflection) im really feeling like this was a really intense winter. I feel like Ive been deep in some things some intense struggle with growing since at least November. I was also sick a lot which had me frustrated and angry. In thinking about this winter and what was so difficult Id have to say for me it felt like I was fighting myself a lot. I was making it really hard and in it going 'shit please stop making this so hard on yourself!' 'this is your fault' 'you have to change this' 'you know better' 'youre not going to get this' etc etc. All of the old voices the punishing ones were up. A friend asked has it always been like this for you? and I had a hard time with that question - has it?

Maybe winter has felt similar in the past - hibernating storing growing but a lot of it the hard way - i keep coming back to that feeling of growing pains really. Im future pacing next winter to be one where i really surrender into it and take advantage of all that those feelings have to offer without the voices behind me and me fighting me. It feels like Ive been fighting so hard with a lot of these pieces and I would really like to make an adjustment on that so starting now I am kinder to myself and have a more supportive and positive environment to grow and explore in. I have been that mean best friend to myself - ick - no wonder growing up I had those really nasty incredibly hurtful judgemental bossy best girl friends - duh they were just a reflection of the self punishing overly scrutinizing harsh me.

Ive been thinking recently about a real surrender into things instead of the 'ok how can i change this' or 'ok lets make this go away now' first feeling. Im noticing as Ive been acknowledging whatever it is im more able to work with it instead of this back and forth struggle. Its the slightest shift, something that i knew but I guess wasnt really practicing. I did do a lot of growing though looking back now. Ive done some pretty big things and worked on some huge pieces. Ive also created a lot of things - some that came very easy and some that were so incredibly difficult to birth. But maybe its life, and instead of fighting me so hard and trying to change all of it or getting pissed at it really saying huh this is life how wonderful. Some things are a little hard sometimes and some are easy both are ok. i know seems so obvious but theres been a part of me that was not conscious and still holding onto the fight and the struggle and the 'oh were going to show you difficult!'

Its not that fun to have the angry mean me breathing down my neck! (she can be a real bitch!) Anyway Im so excited about it being warm its been so needed to help shift a lot of things that have been stagnant. I feel a much nicer to ME me thats come out of this winter. Ive been talking to that mean version of 'me' and making some peace with her asking her what it was in fact she wanted and why she was hanging around and being such a tyrant. After much talk and negotiation it feels like old mean lauren has lovingly let go of the strangle hold and is willing to transform.

Fermented Raw

Here's something I started doing this week, and it might work for you too. I'm enjoying it!

I took a large tupperware container and put in a dressing: a good amount of everything because this is a marinade
balsamic vinegar
olive oil
salt and pepper and (I'm back) cayenne pepper
chopped garlic
chopped fresh basil

Then I've added all sorts of chopped fresh vegetables
a container of fresh chopped mushrooms
a whole bag of shelled edamame
1 chopped onion
1 chopped green pepper
and a package of extra firm tofu, cubed

Then I started adding any leftover cooked vegetables each night.
steamed broccoli one night
steamed carrots another
leftover steamed assorted asian vegetables (water chestnuts, bamboo shoots, pea pods string carrots etc)
Whatever I had, I added.

Each night, I've stirred and turned it and then added more stuff and eaten some.
It's gotten better with age!

Try this! It's good cold, or pull it out and eat it at room temperature. I've added more cayenne as I've gone along btw.

mindful/conscious movement

So i think its really important that whatever we do next have some physical component too, some mindful/conscious movement. I have been very conveniently avoiding it and fighting it for some time now or dabbling even though this is what i have clearly clearly heard. Even if we are dancing or stretching or walking or swimming or tending garden together or individually whatever it is i think we can help support each other in remembering that physical flow is as important as mental emotional etc and is so complimentary. Ive been hearing now in the past few weeks about so many people who have survived serious accidents literally because they were in such good physical condition. Im all ears Im listening Im back to really noticing and acknowledging what Im getting.

Ive been making my own juices again instead of going out to get them which feels amazing. Ive been focusing on efficient eating, eating just what i really feel is most nourishing in terms of quality and quantity. These past few months Ive felt sick nearly every time I eat and I havent had an appetite really and im just eating to eat. That doesnt feel good I havent felt satisfied and I know better. How many times do I just eat something because Im out with friends or because i dont know what else to do. Its a time filler for me sometimes and I really dont enjoy that feeling. So I have been eating just what my body wants and when Im not hungry or dont know what i want I have a juice or drink lemon water. Im not going to starve - and in fact the things i was eating werent even giving me anything really nutritionally and felt crippling and lethargy inducing.Ive been so bored of hearing myself complain about food to myself and others. I also listened about my bodies needs for supplements and have been taking hematic response (iron vit c folic acid etc) multi vit D and a multi vit E all derived from organic whole foods. I really feel so much better listening instead of being frustrated and pissed off and hard on myself and wondering why im not feeling ok.

Im consciously receiving nourishment.

It seems like we are all here together which is so nice! Im so excited to explore whatever comes next with you guys!

Stolen Innocence

I just finished reading the book 'Stolen Innocence' by Elissa Wall about growing up in a polygamous sect and her subsequent lawsuit against Warren Jeffs. This book absolutely shook me to the core. Since I was a teenager I remember the family talking about my father's second cousin, Corky Wall, and his conversion to the FLDS religion. Elissa is Corky's 11th child from his second wife. I was floored to see Corky's picture plastered in the book - the same man we saw at various family reunions, the same man who spoke a prayer at my mother's funeral. Even though reading the book seemed to be a complete invasion of his privacy, I continued on, opening doors into a lifestyle that I never fathomed existed - oh, how sheltered I am.

I've always had the belief that people should let others worship as they desired, and I was even a little incensed when I saw the FLDS children taken from their parents in Texas. After reading this book, my mind has shifted. Reading about the absolute control by the religion's patriarchs over all it's members, but in particular the women who are viewed as property and the oppressive rules and regulations they're forced to keep makes me relieved to see these Texas children being uprooted.

I am so proud of Elissa for overcoming her fears and I've learned valuable lessons from this courageous 21-year-old girl. Do you think she may be a Shaman at heart?

Caught up with the blog

I've finally caught up with the blog after having my laptop on the fritz for the last month. Twenty minutes between refreshing screens is beyond my patience limit, especially when it comes to technology. I can read my e-mail at work, but blogs are definitely off-limits.

Lauren, glad to hear you'll be in town for a while. Also happy to see you're famous by being quoted (even though erroneously) in the NY Times. Interesting that every time I actually know something about a story that's been published in the news, it's always misquoted. Makes you wonder if anything you read is actually legitimate.

Joy, I work with a man who belongs to the Bahai'i faith. I've also been attracted to the tents of the religion since he gave me a book of prayers four years ago. I've just never taken the time to study the religion.

Everyone, I've been thinking about going more raw, and today is just as good as any to start, especially now that we're into the fruits and vegetables season.

Shifts

Lauren said it best: "I keep hearing 'you can have it easy or you can have it hard'"
Me too. I have for awhile now, and when I relax I realize that things are lined up in much better order than I can imagine.

Take this trip for instance:
At the last minute all the plans changed: and yet, the pieces were lined up BETTER than I could have hoped for. I booked the hotel back in Feb-and the dates matched with our flying-NOT with driving. DId I know that already?
The flights end up matching the arrival and departure of other family coming in-much better flow than driving.

I find myself constantly saying "Hmmm. Just look at that!"

I turn down a 'wrong' street, I get where I am going faster.
I miss an exit and take another way, and again, I happen to miss an accident and delay.
I double book, and then someone cancels.

Flow.
Are we in flow?
What would it take for you to be in flow?
Where might we be hanging on to outmoded 'control' issues and in need of a swift boot into trust and surrender.

What does 'being in control' really mean? Does it mean that we think we can do a better job than 'someone' else?
Practice letting go-for one day.
Let go of details. Take off your watch. Breathe. And flow.
Do you believe that the world will fall apart? How old are you when you believe that?

Sista Support

I can't do this alone-I get it! I've got to find my way back to raw but I need my buddies. I can't start until Sunday when we get back, but can we set it up for then? Really? Make a commitment again, all of us together?

Jac, congratulations on supporting your candida process. Good for you. Oh wait. That doesn't sound sincere even to me. GOOD FO YOU! Yahoo! That feels better. I do mean it. GOOD for you. GOOD GOOD GOOD>ok now I'm feeling just a tad envious.

I've got to say that I've not been as good! I've noticed food demons that I thought I had LONG AGO slain. I haven't felt the urge for a donut or cinnamon roll for years. Probably not since we all went to Sedona and had Krispy Kreme key lime pie donuts-remember?

Well I think I might have knocked down a little kid for one this past week! DONUT thief tu jour! But I didn't. I let that little tyke HAVE their stupid donut.

Instead, Jon obligingly came home from work with a tray FULL of cinnamon rolls. Now, they've sat innocently neutral in my kitchen lots of times-and I have NEVER felt much urge. Chips, yes, that sort of sugar, nah. I will reach for a cookie, but not something like that.

Well can we just say that I succumbed to the wily ways of the sugar demon and leave it at that? I need a redo on the candida process from you-we musta missed something and stirred something up=it's fierce now!

What IS this thing living in my gut? Get it OUT! EW candida on the rampage...