Here is this HUGE magpie sitting on my little birdfeeder so she can stare me right in the eye. She is balanced there-staring at me right as I read Bo's comment about 'getting on with it.'
I had a client yesterday, tell me my website is down. And it is. My webmaster has disappeared, but he did renew my webaddress to a new domain server so I can't access anything. SHEET.
Ok-breathe. I've been thinking for about 4 years of changing my name, so maybe this is a hint from the big U that it is time.
Nothing of the old is left for me to pull from. It's gone. Down. And he's unavailable.
I slept long, hard, deep, and this morning instead of feeling refreshed and tra-la, I am ready to rip heads! I feel anger and frustration and I want things done now. I feel impatient and I feel like it's time to rip into a bloody steak. Something bio-chemical has shifted in me. I want meat. Real meat. A big thick steak. Not namby pamby chicken, or little sushi rolls of raw eel. I want a rack of ribs to knaw on.
I think I've connected to my primative DNA-it's surfacing with a roar...me thinks this might be a good thing for awhile. I've been feeling a bit like a cow chewing cud...if you know what I mean. Placid. "It will all work. It will all happen in the right time."
While I feel good on raw, I feel lousy doing half, and really lousy doing a bit here and there. I have to get back on or I have to get really off for awhile. Since I do have a barbeque, I'm going to do a week of high protein and see if that shifts me a bit.
Wonder what high protein and green juice would do? Hmmmmmm
Time to rethink and experiment in a new direction.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Dreaming of Fathers
I've heard several of you say that you have dreamt with your father lately.
me too! i realized this morning that I had this funny little dream.
I was looking at a photo of my Dad and me. I was sitting, he was standing, and I looked exactly like him.
I thought "wow, That's one ugly woman!" and laughed.
It was an old black and white photo like we had in the 50s, with the saw-toothed white border.
Is it ok to be like my father?
Well, as I woke I realized I had been campaigning for no less than President.
I was campaigning as an ordinary woman, and I realized I only had to convince 10 people, who would each convince 10 people to vote for me, and that the rest would take care of itself.
Then I was on Bill Maher. It was pretty lucid. I remember saying
"I find it reprehensible that the power of the media considers the American public so stupid."
And I enlisted the support and aid of the comedians! I held some sort of special dinner, and spoke to them about what was happening.
Then I saw Golda Mier, and I Indira Gandhi and I realized that we are all ordinary women, and that we have been uninvolved because we believe we cannot affect change.
The dream was all about the change. I woke up thinking "I should have taken that debate class in high school..."
Quite a dream! Anyone want to take a crack at it?
Being my father's daughter, being like him...well...that's mind boggling.
I've told you all he ran for Congress 3x in California? As a write in? He got on tv, and debated Ron Dellems, and he got more than 300,000 votes, and that was before the internet. Not bad for a man on foot.
Personally, I don't see myself with a career in politics for the next 40 years.
me too! i realized this morning that I had this funny little dream.
I was looking at a photo of my Dad and me. I was sitting, he was standing, and I looked exactly like him.
I thought "wow, That's one ugly woman!" and laughed.
It was an old black and white photo like we had in the 50s, with the saw-toothed white border.
Is it ok to be like my father?
Well, as I woke I realized I had been campaigning for no less than President.
I was campaigning as an ordinary woman, and I realized I only had to convince 10 people, who would each convince 10 people to vote for me, and that the rest would take care of itself.
Then I was on Bill Maher. It was pretty lucid. I remember saying
"I find it reprehensible that the power of the media considers the American public so stupid."
And I enlisted the support and aid of the comedians! I held some sort of special dinner, and spoke to them about what was happening.
Then I saw Golda Mier, and I Indira Gandhi and I realized that we are all ordinary women, and that we have been uninvolved because we believe we cannot affect change.
The dream was all about the change. I woke up thinking "I should have taken that debate class in high school..."
Quite a dream! Anyone want to take a crack at it?
Being my father's daughter, being like him...well...that's mind boggling.
I've told you all he ran for Congress 3x in California? As a write in? He got on tv, and debated Ron Dellems, and he got more than 300,000 votes, and that was before the internet. Not bad for a man on foot.
Personally, I don't see myself with a career in politics for the next 40 years.
What Is Coming?
We've all been saying "It's coming" and "I can feel something big coming" and "we need to get ready for that something that is coming that's gonna be big"...
Well sheet! Not to be negative, not at all, but what the hell?
What if it isn't coming-what if it's here?
What if this is it?
What if there isn't any "gonna" left?
What if we are there, and this is it, and now we make it, do it, be it? Or not? No more waiting?
What are we doing on a day to day basis to say that we get it?
Are we living the new paradighm, or are we still living the old paradighm?
Sure (I can hear some of you) you say, "what is the old paradighm?
Well, it's "it's coming" and not "it's here"
The new way is that we are the healers we have been waiting for.
We are the way.
I gotta tell ya all that I absolutely LOVE Bo's door story. I've been thinking about it all day. I mean, wow. We spend all our time on the door...polishing that great doorknob so it will be bright and beautiful and open just right (didn't you love how she said Aladdin's lamp)
and stripping all that old paint off...
gettin' down to the wood
down to the bare bones
and then she put on that walnut finish and wham! It showed up all the flaws so now she has to paint it...
so it got me thinking about all the times we do that!
We get to work, and we work hard, and we imagine we are making great progress, getting down to the bare wood, you know?
And then...
we are disappointed.
It's not perfect. Even after all that freeking work, it's got flaws and dings and it's beat and battered. Sheet.
Aren't we all???
Ok ok so now we are disappointed that we didn't do better.
We did the best we could, but sheet. It's still looking beat up. You know?
We feel beat up. We feel a bit defeated. When we aren't working on the door, working at it,
we are the door, being worked on and beat up.
We are the door we are banging on to open wide.
We are the banger and the banged and the banging and the bang itself.
We're it.
We are all.
We are there.
Wow!
Well sheet! Not to be negative, not at all, but what the hell?
What if it isn't coming-what if it's here?
What if this is it?
What if there isn't any "gonna" left?
What if we are there, and this is it, and now we make it, do it, be it? Or not? No more waiting?
What are we doing on a day to day basis to say that we get it?
Are we living the new paradighm, or are we still living the old paradighm?
Sure (I can hear some of you) you say, "what is the old paradighm?
Well, it's "it's coming" and not "it's here"
The new way is that we are the healers we have been waiting for.
We are the way.
I gotta tell ya all that I absolutely LOVE Bo's door story. I've been thinking about it all day. I mean, wow. We spend all our time on the door...polishing that great doorknob so it will be bright and beautiful and open just right (didn't you love how she said Aladdin's lamp)
and stripping all that old paint off...
gettin' down to the wood
down to the bare bones
and then she put on that walnut finish and wham! It showed up all the flaws so now she has to paint it...
so it got me thinking about all the times we do that!
We get to work, and we work hard, and we imagine we are making great progress, getting down to the bare wood, you know?
And then...
we are disappointed.
It's not perfect. Even after all that freeking work, it's got flaws and dings and it's beat and battered. Sheet.
Aren't we all???
Ok ok so now we are disappointed that we didn't do better.
We did the best we could, but sheet. It's still looking beat up. You know?
We feel beat up. We feel a bit defeated. When we aren't working on the door, working at it,
we are the door, being worked on and beat up.
We are the door we are banging on to open wide.
We are the banger and the banged and the banging and the bang itself.
We're it.
We are all.
We are there.
Wow!
john of god
so heading off to john of god tomorrow - i will be out of touch until thursday --- i will have you all in my thoughts there and send you some of what i get!
in other news....
I SOLD MY TABLE! YEA! I feel really good about the decision, and theres SO much more room in my apartment...it was literally the elephant in the room...before the couple came up to get it i did a little cord cutting with it and took what lessons i had learned with its assistance back...makes me think, why had i given my power away to a table? regardless it felt good to cut cords and clear the table and myself...when the couple came to pick it up it was just a table...the story everything was gone...no more drama...i didnt even look back...why had i made that decision so hard? literally years of back and forth on it...timing...
talk to you guys after john of god...
in other news....
I SOLD MY TABLE! YEA! I feel really good about the decision, and theres SO much more room in my apartment...it was literally the elephant in the room...before the couple came up to get it i did a little cord cutting with it and took what lessons i had learned with its assistance back...makes me think, why had i given my power away to a table? regardless it felt good to cut cords and clear the table and myself...when the couple came to pick it up it was just a table...the story everything was gone...no more drama...i didnt even look back...why had i made that decision so hard? literally years of back and forth on it...timing...
talk to you guys after john of god...
Bedtime Tunes
I thought this was darling-listen to the end.
CA-you especially should appreciate it! :)
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Flat Tires
I was just telling Kathy and then Jac that I do think we need to pay attention to the little details and the frustrations. I have been reading Greg Braden's work again and and am particularly interested in the Acensenes' teachings on mirrors. It really came home to me 2 weeks ago when my VESPA had a flat tire.
I am 51 years old, I never had a flat tire in my life before coming to Utah 7 years ago. Since that time I have had 7 flat tires. 2 on my car, 3 on my bicycle, one onVespa and one on my dad's car while I was driving him around back in Kentucky on a visit. After the Vespa I threw my hands up and said what gives! GOOD GRIEF, as Jackie says. ( WOW, just realized 7 flats and 7years since coming to Utah) I think I told Kathy 2 flats on my bike but I remember it was 3 and all in the same day, I havn't riden my bike since.
Then I was talking to a friend who said OH that's simple, flat tire means I don't feel supported by the universe. Of course that was it, when my mom died and Carolyn left I felt totally exposed and no longer supported. Funny I trusted my mom more than my God. When my mom left I put my faith in Carolyn. Then she left and that left me. After writing the ascension piece, which I shared with you, all I finally understood on a very deep level, my divinity. God in me and God in all that I experience. I am One with the all in all. Something clicked and the fear is gone.
I say thank God for flat tires.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Interference
Well! I had a fun thing happen-not!
For some strange reason my house phone is now interferring with my internet connection.
So! I couldn't get on line.
Everything was blown out. Hmmmm
WHY today?
Anyone else have an odd night-one of about 4 or 5?
Last night I woke at about 1am-wide awake and no idea what woke me up.
Then I was taken on a journey forward in time, saw myself old-like 90
clearly thought-I have 40 more years! What am I going to with that time?
Then saw myself old, elderly, ancient- then died
and felt myself as energy still viable and alive out in the universe and was simply essence.
I truly got it! Oh! That body died, but I am still here. I am clearly still a consciousness
but what I knew as myself-the body-was gone. I was existence in the universe, out in the stars, in all this amazing energy.
HAH-maybe you photographed me this morning Jac! :)
It was so cool and so intense. It was different from any journey though death i have ever done!
I woke so totally exhausted I could hardly open my eyes.
For some strange reason my house phone is now interferring with my internet connection.
So! I couldn't get on line.
Everything was blown out. Hmmmm
WHY today?
Anyone else have an odd night-one of about 4 or 5?
Last night I woke at about 1am-wide awake and no idea what woke me up.
Then I was taken on a journey forward in time, saw myself old-like 90
clearly thought-I have 40 more years! What am I going to with that time?
Then saw myself old, elderly, ancient- then died
and felt myself as energy still viable and alive out in the universe and was simply essence.
I truly got it! Oh! That body died, but I am still here. I am clearly still a consciousness
but what I knew as myself-the body-was gone. I was existence in the universe, out in the stars, in all this amazing energy.
HAH-maybe you photographed me this morning Jac! :)
It was so cool and so intense. It was different from any journey though death i have ever done!
I woke so totally exhausted I could hardly open my eyes.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Haircut = getting rid of dead weight!
I cut my hair! Well I went to get it cut...its the shortest its been in 10 years and damn it feels good! As he was cutting it I swear I shed so much... it felt like so much weight I had been holding onto...I left feeling like a new woman...I feel brighter lighter and smilier (is that a word? no anyway i like it) plus Im a little curlier its funny whatever he did made me have ringlets I look a bit curly sue...heehee anyway much better...dead hair dead weight GONE VOILA!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Streaking
Just commenting on CA's bathroom streak of light and thought...
You know they just arrested a kid for streaking his graduation? THey are going to slap him with lewd public display and because he's 18 he's going to have to register as a sex offender and may do jail time!
How f**king uptight ARE we? VERY! Get a sense of humor UTAH. He's a kid, being stupid on graduation. It's not like it hasn't been done before. Hell, it's been done ALOT. Lonny Wyneman streaked MY graduation back in 1974...so how's that for been done before? Course I was in Italy and missed the show, but I heard plenty. I keep hoping he will streak a reunion. Hey, maybe our 30th...oops missed it...35th?
You know they just arrested a kid for streaking his graduation? THey are going to slap him with lewd public display and because he's 18 he's going to have to register as a sex offender and may do jail time!
How f**king uptight ARE we? VERY! Get a sense of humor UTAH. He's a kid, being stupid on graduation. It's not like it hasn't been done before. Hell, it's been done ALOT. Lonny Wyneman streaked MY graduation back in 1974...so how's that for been done before? Course I was in Italy and missed the show, but I heard plenty. I keep hoping he will streak a reunion. Hey, maybe our 30th...oops missed it...35th?
Getting lost
This is what the pakareena's look like...those water spirits coming out to say hello!
So I'm starting, like, my seventh year of teaching for the U. You would think my car could get there automatically wouldn't you? Maybe it was because it was T's truck instead of my car...
I zipped past the Foothill exit, then past the 13th st exit. I took 7th, then thought, "I'll just go up 21st to Foothill and then go north...
I went forever and somehow ended up back on the freeway, going west on I-215??? I got off at 33rd, swung around, got back on the freeway, and almost did the whole damn thing again! I missed Foothill, missed 13th, got off at 7th and thought "whoa....dude...!"
This time I went down to 8th and then went up. It's becoming traditional that I get lost the first night. Luckily a little birdie told me to leave an hour early. I just made it in time...
I need grounding I think. I'm still not back from somewhere over Mesquite...
Having a Peach of a Day
Stopped at a roadside stand last night to buy some peaches, fresh from the Brigham City peach farms. Absolute ambrosia for the soul! If you see a stand, do yourself a favor and stop.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Shifting the Focus (its long...)
It is the slightest shift thats occurred for me but has had the most noticible sense of change since I shifted from 'sick' to healthy...Im not even sure how exactly it happened, I guess it was gradual...It started off as a change in the way I was feeling about relationships, I found myself not being interested in them anymore, or at least not giving them the energy or the time or thought or attention I had for so long. I must admit there were a few days when I started rejecting them - I was like ew ick I never want to be involved with anyone romantically sexually Im just over it...then that feeling settles down into this feeling now which is a very calm feeling neither for no against them, sort of a kind sensation of indifference. I surely know I will have one I will want one again...there were also a few days where I was like whats wrong with me! Im never going to be able to have one again Im not going to enjoy sex Im going to live alone with cats and my mother! haaha those were all the fears, but like the soaking of the weed before pulling it, by the time it was fully saturated I was fine...I still love the thought of relationships commitments etc, but my commitment is now more than ever to my Self. Shifting this ever so slightly, has been like removing a giant yoke from my neck...Finally I am fully in the picture....I get it now, I get what Joy had been saying what friends had been saying what my therapist ahd been saying (years ago) what my dad said, it doesnt mean getting rid of the idea of relationships moving into a convent and having god be my only lover...it just means hey, lauren shift this so theres room for you to grow to heal to blossom in this area, inside you...
My mom said she was watching Oprah a while ago and all these women of different ages were on, I think it was Ellen Bursten that said the greatest gift the biggest lesson she had learned now in her 50s finally was her relationship with herself was the most significant one whe would have to develop...She said she had always relied on having men around but was never satisfied...
And I just rememebered how it shifting, I came out of sacred relationship with relationships, they stopped feeling good I started feeling angry, bored, I couldnt SEE the person I was with...and I knew I was done. I knew it was ready to shift. The affinity was gone the addiction to the thrill the intensity the anything...it was simply not there. I kow that thats not how I wanted to be....Its funny I also now see that I had done this with my friends and family...Just sort of unconsciously, but (im a little farther ahead on the friends and family) now my relationships with friends are so much more sacred and real feeling, and my relationships with my mom and sister are better than ever they are deeper, more real...and all it took was letting go and time...imagine that...
Im posting this also as my success because, just as I am grateful for everyone and everything around me, I am also so grateful to my Self, for being patient and kind and listening and not judging or running to someone or running somewhere on this...I simply stayed put and committed deeper, surrendered into it. This is one of the biggest lessons Ive finally allowed to process and come in so clearly...Intellectually its easy to see, yes i did this with my 'sick' too, but getting it and getting it in this way with Other has taken time and care with my Self, it has taken me not being afraid to lose Other in my life or reject Other or run like hell from other, being patient and knowing when to pull back and go in without fear that everyone will be gone (abandon me! --ya thats gone!) by the time i get it....it means coming back into balance and harmony with Self without fear and in love.
And now the rewards...I have been to yoga almost daily, something I could never commit to...my body feels great my mind feels great...Im eating better more and consistently, Im working!, Im clear on my vision for the non-profit, Ive developed a 3 yr outline of what I see happening, not that its set in stone, but its just a framework for whats possible in my wildest dreams...(which are the most fun ones!) Im going to my first guitar lesson here today!, Ive been reading non-stop and have been enjoying it...Im getting organized (which is huge) taking care of my finances and keeping tabs on spending ... I have my calender filled with these things, and Im sticking to them, before my time was flexible, I would cancel and not value my plans or schedule...now when I have yoga set in there Im going...if someone asks me to do something its after yoga or whatever appointment I have...It feels so good to value MY time...ME. Thanks to Kathy for the forward, Im going to a workshop on relationships and intimacy tomorrow my Self, which I am excited about...This feeling, is one that now i have I will now how to sustain or at least get back to if I fall from center, much like raw is the center and if I go in any direction I know how to get back if I need to...Its just creating a new idea of 'home' inside Self that feels really sacred.
Thank you all for holding space here while Ive been silently working through some of this...knowing you are here knowing that there are no judgments allows for this kind of growth and sharing and honesty...so I thank you!
My mom said she was watching Oprah a while ago and all these women of different ages were on, I think it was Ellen Bursten that said the greatest gift the biggest lesson she had learned now in her 50s finally was her relationship with herself was the most significant one whe would have to develop...She said she had always relied on having men around but was never satisfied...
And I just rememebered how it shifting, I came out of sacred relationship with relationships, they stopped feeling good I started feeling angry, bored, I couldnt SEE the person I was with...and I knew I was done. I knew it was ready to shift. The affinity was gone the addiction to the thrill the intensity the anything...it was simply not there. I kow that thats not how I wanted to be....Its funny I also now see that I had done this with my friends and family...Just sort of unconsciously, but (im a little farther ahead on the friends and family) now my relationships with friends are so much more sacred and real feeling, and my relationships with my mom and sister are better than ever they are deeper, more real...and all it took was letting go and time...imagine that...
Im posting this also as my success because, just as I am grateful for everyone and everything around me, I am also so grateful to my Self, for being patient and kind and listening and not judging or running to someone or running somewhere on this...I simply stayed put and committed deeper, surrendered into it. This is one of the biggest lessons Ive finally allowed to process and come in so clearly...Intellectually its easy to see, yes i did this with my 'sick' too, but getting it and getting it in this way with Other has taken time and care with my Self, it has taken me not being afraid to lose Other in my life or reject Other or run like hell from other, being patient and knowing when to pull back and go in without fear that everyone will be gone (abandon me! --ya thats gone!) by the time i get it....it means coming back into balance and harmony with Self without fear and in love.
And now the rewards...I have been to yoga almost daily, something I could never commit to...my body feels great my mind feels great...Im eating better more and consistently, Im working!, Im clear on my vision for the non-profit, Ive developed a 3 yr outline of what I see happening, not that its set in stone, but its just a framework for whats possible in my wildest dreams...(which are the most fun ones!) Im going to my first guitar lesson here today!, Ive been reading non-stop and have been enjoying it...Im getting organized (which is huge) taking care of my finances and keeping tabs on spending ... I have my calender filled with these things, and Im sticking to them, before my time was flexible, I would cancel and not value my plans or schedule...now when I have yoga set in there Im going...if someone asks me to do something its after yoga or whatever appointment I have...It feels so good to value MY time...ME. Thanks to Kathy for the forward, Im going to a workshop on relationships and intimacy tomorrow my Self, which I am excited about...This feeling, is one that now i have I will now how to sustain or at least get back to if I fall from center, much like raw is the center and if I go in any direction I know how to get back if I need to...Its just creating a new idea of 'home' inside Self that feels really sacred.
Thank you all for holding space here while Ive been silently working through some of this...knowing you are here knowing that there are no judgments allows for this kind of growth and sharing and honesty...so I thank you!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
my dream!
Ok so I just remembered one of my dreams last night...I was on the front lawn of my old house (where I lived in high school) and there were hundreds and hundreds of dollars strewn all over the lawn I was rolling it and rolling it and thinking I just didnt know what to do with it I just kept rolling it and putting it into these soft suitcases....it was bizarre!
So who knows what this means....I just know It was so much abundance I fully got that feeling...I carry around the numbers in my wallet and have been waiting for the hit to buy --- a few weeks ago I got a reminder to put the numbers in my wallet and now it just timing i guess...there are so many lotto places here just waiting to track which one has our millions!
So who knows what this means....I just know It was so much abundance I fully got that feeling...I carry around the numbers in my wallet and have been waiting for the hit to buy --- a few weeks ago I got a reminder to put the numbers in my wallet and now it just timing i guess...there are so many lotto places here just waiting to track which one has our millions!
Commitment and Surrender
A lot of what I have been learning the past few weeks has been about commitment. Each time I would get anxious or stressed out I would like an immediate response go even deeper into this idea of commitment...its been like training a wild horse. Everytime I would resist each time my mind tried to pull me away I would stop breathe and again go deeper surrendering even more into this commitment...
Ive been very committed to setting up a practice now here and a few hours ago i had my first paying client in a space I rented at a yoga studio (it rents by appointment so no lease hassle- and its always empty - i think i told you guys about it before). its strange i feel like such an adult! Of course, the thing I have been avoiding, commitment, is exactly what I needed. (DUH)
Also I had huge night last night, did you guys sleep well? I was dreaming this insanely intense dreams...At some point though I had this huge connection and piece came in and I got so much of the work that Joy and I had been doing months ago...I got it before but I REALLY got huge pieces about what the shamanic work is and means and that it is really a complete system of healing on its own...Im so grateful for all of the work JOY! And now I have this deeper way of seeing it now that ive give it time to process...I think that there is the key Ive finaly slowed down enough to allow it to come in...instead of the usual run run run....its quiet push deeper surrender more...and it feels so great to understand this, the connection with the piece also the other day about me having the choice to make it hard or easy...
The week fast I did last week really helped clear so much...it slowed me down even farther than I already had been...and for me thats been key to staying clear and focused and grounded...Im going to John of God at the Omega center next week Im very excited have no idea what to expect but cant wait to fill you guys in...
I miss you all and wish I could join you for the Wednesday class!
Ive been very committed to setting up a practice now here and a few hours ago i had my first paying client in a space I rented at a yoga studio (it rents by appointment so no lease hassle- and its always empty - i think i told you guys about it before). its strange i feel like such an adult! Of course, the thing I have been avoiding, commitment, is exactly what I needed. (DUH)
Also I had huge night last night, did you guys sleep well? I was dreaming this insanely intense dreams...At some point though I had this huge connection and piece came in and I got so much of the work that Joy and I had been doing months ago...I got it before but I REALLY got huge pieces about what the shamanic work is and means and that it is really a complete system of healing on its own...Im so grateful for all of the work JOY! And now I have this deeper way of seeing it now that ive give it time to process...I think that there is the key Ive finaly slowed down enough to allow it to come in...instead of the usual run run run....its quiet push deeper surrender more...and it feels so great to understand this, the connection with the piece also the other day about me having the choice to make it hard or easy...
The week fast I did last week really helped clear so much...it slowed me down even farther than I already had been...and for me thats been key to staying clear and focused and grounded...Im going to John of God at the Omega center next week Im very excited have no idea what to expect but cant wait to fill you guys in...
I miss you all and wish I could join you for the Wednesday class!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Albino Peacock
White animals, especially the appearance of them, has always been considered magical.
King Arthur pursues a white deer and arrives at a magical site
Pryderi and Manawydan pursue a white boar that takes them to a magical trap
Prince Pwyll encounters white dogs with red ears
Rhiannon arrivese from the other world on a white horse
The birth of a White Buffalo is supposed to signal the rebirth of humanity
The Pawnee have a myth about white bear medicine woman
We know about White Buffalo Calf woman who is to return when there is chaos and disparity
There are white chinese dolphins...but albino are pretty rare.
I'm just noticing I've been receiving beautiful photos of white animals lately...that's all...
Monday, September 17, 2007
Too much to keep on top of...!
There is SO much going on everyday that I am having a really hard time trying to keep on top of it here! Seriously...Everyday I get a moment to click on the blog and im like i dont have the words to write whats been going on...it feels like im barely able to live it all retelling things seems bizarre and i just feel a bit wonky! so much wow..anyway I will tell you guys what happened to me the other day to give you a clue as to how its been and an important message i got...
I was heading dowtown on the subway from 72st down to 14th....the trains were running on a weekend schedule so no express ( i clearly saw that sign --- but as you will hear clearly forgot that momentarily) At 34th street i heard some announcement but ignored it (later realized the announcement was that train was going express to 14th which means next stop would have been mine) i saw a train across the path and jumped off my train to get onto that one thinking oh thats the express i can get there faster....well i was wrong it was heading back uptown. Now what that hell happened? Anyway 34th back up to 42nd was the absolute slowest ride for some reason kept stopping it took almost as long as the original train ride had for several stops...So I get off at 42 walk up the stairs down the hall down the stairs and onto the platform heading back downtown. I get on the correct train and realize what had just happened and all the signs I had ignored...then I heard loud and clear you can make it as hard or as easy as you want it to be your still getting off at 14th street. sounds like one of those terrible s.a.t. problems 'if a train leaving point a leaves 10 minutes before the trains leaving point b...' blah blah blah... good grief is all i can say...
lessons lessons...that was an important one for me....i got it...
I was heading dowtown on the subway from 72st down to 14th....the trains were running on a weekend schedule so no express ( i clearly saw that sign --- but as you will hear clearly forgot that momentarily) At 34th street i heard some announcement but ignored it (later realized the announcement was that train was going express to 14th which means next stop would have been mine) i saw a train across the path and jumped off my train to get onto that one thinking oh thats the express i can get there faster....well i was wrong it was heading back uptown. Now what that hell happened? Anyway 34th back up to 42nd was the absolute slowest ride for some reason kept stopping it took almost as long as the original train ride had for several stops...So I get off at 42 walk up the stairs down the hall down the stairs and onto the platform heading back downtown. I get on the correct train and realize what had just happened and all the signs I had ignored...then I heard loud and clear you can make it as hard or as easy as you want it to be your still getting off at 14th street. sounds like one of those terrible s.a.t. problems 'if a train leaving point a leaves 10 minutes before the trains leaving point b...' blah blah blah... good grief is all i can say...
lessons lessons...that was an important one for me....i got it...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Manifestation and Shape Shifting
This morning was interesting. I decided to take the dogs on a hike and I was talking to Tess and said, "lets go on a hike! I want to see a hawk, maybe we will go up to Jeremy Ranch." She's all like blah blah blah balh HIKE! blah blah blah blah........
So I walk out my door and look up and there circling above my garage is a huge hawk. Wow!
Then I told you guys about feelin anxious and fearful. I go on the hike, up Mill Creek since I got my Hawk fix I didn't want to drive so far. I stop on the path just to be still and look around, there on a tree above me was a knot of some sort sticking out from the trunk and it looked just like the face of a Lion. I saw Lion years ago at the U when Joy was showing us how to shape shift. My partners' face turned into a Lion. I immediately thought of that day and what it mean to me. It was certainly my touch stone or this work and quited my doubting Thomas. Lion is about courage. So glad he showed up for me today. Lion and Hawk, Courage and the Guardian. Cool. I feel supported in the middle of this, what ever this is.
So I walk out my door and look up and there circling above my garage is a huge hawk. Wow!
Then I told you guys about feelin anxious and fearful. I go on the hike, up Mill Creek since I got my Hawk fix I didn't want to drive so far. I stop on the path just to be still and look around, there on a tree above me was a knot of some sort sticking out from the trunk and it looked just like the face of a Lion. I saw Lion years ago at the U when Joy was showing us how to shape shift. My partners' face turned into a Lion. I immediately thought of that day and what it mean to me. It was certainly my touch stone or this work and quited my doubting Thomas. Lion is about courage. So glad he showed up for me today. Lion and Hawk, Courage and the Guardian. Cool. I feel supported in the middle of this, what ever this is.
Friday, September 14, 2007
WildLife Ranger
Well well my friends, I was writing away on my latest adventures when I decided I must find a picture of my willow tree! Since it's in my imaginary journey world, I knew it would have to be just a something close because there would be nothing that could actually be the magic of my real grandmother willow tree.
ANYWAY-That search took me to a close up of the most amazing willow tree bark which I think is how I came to stumble on the site below. Here is someone with a like fine eye as us! Someone that sees the details in nature! I was delighted for quite a while!
Since we are all nature enthusiasts...well...shamans would be wouldn't they? I thought you would like this link.
Spend a few minutes or an hour on this delightful and beautiful site, and the sister site too. I would post the image of the willow bark but it's copyrighted and I wouldn't want hourds of manic ninjas coming after me, would I?
Wildlife Ranger UK
and his spillover website:
Wildlife Ranger Website with Ranger Don.
Many of the photos are for sale on
image kind which might be a good thing for some of you to use for your art too! Check it out.
Check out snowy owl...type that into the search engine and not 'Don W' as he instructs...or put in 'Don W' and then click forward to page 15 or so to find him...there's lots, but kind of far back for those of us that lack patience to go one page at a time...
Thursday, September 13, 2007
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