My father has been dead for 21 years. I have rarely dreamt of my father. He was a big, overpowering energy that even dead seemed too much for me. A few times he would show up and not talk. That was always a surprise because he {like me) talked alot. I always wanted him to say something. He never has.
A few years ago he started trying to reach me through psychics, not me going for readings, but him coming to psychics and me finding out. You all know that story of "John Edward" and my father so I won't go into it again.
This morning my father's hands were clearly before me, just his hands. He had big distinctive hands, and he was opening a trifold black leather wallet. Slowly, deliberately.
Inside he had a small, old school picture of me, which he pulled out so I could see it,as if he were showing it quite deliberately to me, and a piece of paper, torn at the edges that said, "I love you" scrawled in his very distinctive handwriting. They had been tucked inside. His hands moved slowly, clearly.
Next I saw a woman's purse. Not mine. Not anyone's I know. And I heard a voice, my own, as I said to you all, "the mesa holds their "sweet babies", their cu-yas. Medicine people carry it wiith them everywhere and it holds what is most precious and sacred." I saw again my father's hands, slowly and deliberately opening a wallet.
And it was done and I realized I was awake, laying in bed. I saw in my mind's eye, his hands slowly unfolding the wallet, one way and then the other, again, and then the woman's purse.
My father never carried a wallet. He never had pictures of us with him. He had odd scraps of paper and loose coins and money. His pockets were a mess with keys and receipts falling out. He never had a wallet. But in the dream, he did, and in it was a picture of me, little, and that scrap of paper. We would give him wallets, try to tidy him up, but he refused. He once said that if he lost a wallet he would lose everything at once, and he felt safer having something in every pocket. Ah! I get it!
I realized too that the wallet unfolded much like a slimmed down version of a mesa bundle. And a woman's purse too. Are they our modern, unconscious versions of the "mesa"? We carry them with us. We have inside them what we might need in our daily lives.
Do we honor what we have inside?
Does it hold what is most prescious to us?
What do you have in your purse or your wallet?
What do you with you everyday, everywhere you go?
Is you purse like your mesa? What would it take for it to be?
What would it take for us to be that clear that we carry close to us only what is most precious?
2 comments:
What a cool dream.
I love that he finally told you that he loved you. He wanted you to get that message. I think his thinking was also that in his world it could be deadly to have your identity found. Yes, also that your identity is in many pockets not just in one place.
When I left my purse at CA's I thought good grief I have never left my purse somewhere. CA then replies your purse is your identity and you left you identity behind, opening to a new identity. When I first was creating my Mesa it went with me everywhere...then as time went on I quit taking it with me. I can reflect on that and realize that was one of the many points in time that I was not claiming me. I really think the purse is a metaphor.
Do we honor what we have inside...not neccessarily sometimes its just clutter. I discovered that when I bought a bigger bag and found I only put in it what I really needed and wanted and also had the thought that cool it is big enough to put my Mesa in.
Does it hold what is most precious to us? For me not really...
What do I have in my purse...like I said alot of clutter, I can really see how could be carrying less.
In regards to the rest of the questions I think we maybe could go through our purses like we do our Mesas and look at why we carry what we carry and then only put into our purses what is most precious.
Interesting dream, Joy. I think you have the symbolism figured out spot on. This post has me thinking about what I carry around and why. Nothing precious really. Why carry around things that aren't precious? Hmmm...
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