I woke up this morning feeling a little out of it...I think Im still getting used to being back in NYC-- all of the things I had left here before going to SLC are here and I dont know where they go?--the first things I did was check the blog and reading your post Jacqui really inspired me! Ive been nervous about doing work with people after leaving the comforts and serenity of joys room and SLC and coming back to hustle bustle crazy energy at times NYC.
Yesterday I was a bit of a bad swing everything seemed off I kept saying what am I doing here in NYC I have no one here no real support no one who loves me knows me ... whats the deal??? On the subway in the morning I said just breathe I took some calming breaths and realized I was ok --the subway was going fast the people were neurotic and crazy around me but i was in slow motion real time...i had stayed at a friends so i was carrying my mesas with me....I felt so cool in that moment so protected and strong...Like this silence this beautiful silence was around me and in me and me and I could get it back whenever I wanted. I forgot that the' laws of raw' apply to all---once you feel it you can always get back there...so last night it was cold and again went into a mild funk and I ordered vegan cooked food but I way overate and felt crappy after...but then I said "LAUREN THIS IS JUST ONE MEAL! RELAX!" i took a breath in and out and remembered that tomorrow was just another day and I would wake up and breath in and out again and start over from center....
Reading Rebecca's post also reminded me that we have to be patient as our body is catching up and releasing old beliefs old toxins old programs...and food memory is very strong as a lot of it is still somewhere floating in our intestinal tract! I found myself watching TV last night on the couch for the first time in weeks and I was like why am I doing this? I didnt watch TV in SLC? I was busy and vibrant and working...and again I said SLOW DOWN its ok this is a transition back in....I often forget we hav to be nice and kind to our bodies and thank them for being so sweet to us and let them rest a little when they want...I ended up watching a really funny will and grace and laughed my ass off ! And see that was just what my body needed!
I ended up having a really amazing and long beautiful dream about doing this work with people...I feel like I can do it...I just have to trust and remember why I started all of this! I want to inspire change for myself and others I want to help people find their RAW most wild most feral insides--- and I want to sit in love and laughter with them when they feel it when they see it and when they start to believe and dream and hope again and help them understand its all inside them its all there they have aways known it always were it -- hidden under layers of layer cake and ancient hurts TADDAA--- RAW you!! Im going to my meditation group I havent been to for a while tonight---its called dharma punx (http://dharmapunxnyc.com/ The guy who started it is amazing---i think his story is here) a bunch of tattooed buddhists who create this beautiful quiet space in the middle of this noisy crazy but beautiful and lively city....Ill keep each of you in my thoughts (and something special for your nephew Jacqui) miss you all!
How do we not have a label LOVE? im putting one up there...
3 comments:
Absolutely crazy perfect! We have to love all of this, even the times when we don't feel all glowy, and find our way back.
It's about enjoying the journey along the way, and not an outcome. I want to spend one night going to bed at 8pm, or veging on the couch, but I want to be careful not to give in to every night. That's when I say "how old am I now?" and grow her up.
What hit all of us yesterday???
Isn't it kind of interesting how we seem to be connected in all this? We are all getting hit in similar ways at similar times. This has happened a couple of times now, very interesting.
Lauren, thank you so much for your voice of reason. I ate a cooked yam the other day, and I put raw goat cheese on it. It was delicious and pretty healthy, but not as raw as the rawist of the raw would like. And it wasn't detox food, but so what? It's one meal. Relax, Rebecca, don't create drama where one doesn't exist. The process of detoxing can take years, I've read. Like you said, food memories floating around in our GI tract, so be kind and gentle. Thank you! :)
Be kind and gentle. Be kind and gentle. Be kind and gentle. LOL
And no one said 100. And no one said kick ass...I have to remember that when I have a rough evening.
whew. thanks.
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